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So sad and bored...
Trouble in Paradise is over and I got the divorse last year. I've saved my pennies, and in my seperation, finished off my bachelors, paid off all of my marriage debt, went through some health trials and basically made life a lot better for myself... am even in escrow on my own place right now!
But tonight, I'm just a bit sad. I kinda wish that I had a love in my life. I'm quite a LOT bit shy and so I don't go out on single dates with anyone too often. Mostly hang out with groups of friends, and that's really getting me no where. The whole on-line dating scene seems so scary to me...
Had no plans for tonight and the mutt isn't too into fireworks so we avoided that. Well, it got so bad that I started checking out my former brother-in-laws (2) facebook pages. I love these guys, but in the middle of the divorce the ex threw a hissy fit that I still was in touch with most of his family and still had good relations with them. The mediator told me it was probably best I drop the relationships, so I did in order that we could keep going with the divorce. But I miss them....
I miss having a family and 4th of July was their big family get together night. All of the other holidays it's hard for them to get together and that's when we would always make time to drive or fly up to see them and hang out for the holiday weekend.
I don't miss my ex, don't get me wrong. And seeing some of his photos tonight, he just looks so mean and (juvienile dig) he has gotten so fat. But I do miss what I used to consider my family. And I had to dump them with no warning because of that @ss.
/end sorrowful selfish vent
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Re: So sad and bored...
Being single is tough. I was single into my 30s and lived alone for 6 years, so I totally get how boring and lonely it can be.
Huge props to you for getting your life together though! I hope you're proud of what you've accomplished since your divorce!
I'm shy and have all married friends, and I met my DH online. It can be scary, but no scarier than clubs or weirdos talking to you at the bus stop! You just have to be careful. It's like anywhere else, there are some weirdos, some guys who don't actually want a relationship and some who are actually nice and also don't know where to meet people.
Why not try, just to see what it's like and maybe chat with some people? You don't have to meet them, and sometimes it cheers you up just to know there are interesting people out there. Good luck!
I can understand where you are at. My ex H moved out in May 2012....and since then I have lost a bunch of weight and moved forward well.
I have a dating profile on OKCupid and that has been very flattering and fun. But I am shy and introverted to some degree and am realizing, like you did, that I am just recently starting to really miss having a love in my life. For a while I was just enjoying not living with my ex H anymore, and dealing with separating our belongings and negotiating the divorce and all of that. Now the dust has settled and I am feeling a bit lonely.
You have accomplished so much in the past year, it sounds like. You should be proud of yourself!
I think it can be really hard with divorces to lose your in laws if you happened to really love them. My ex H has no family of his own and he loved my family and they loved him. I know he really misses them.
Hang in there! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.
Online dating is weird but really, when you work full time, it's hard to have the time to even go to places where you could meet single people. So it is a good thing to try...
What about joining a group for something you like? You get to do something you enjoy and meet people with similar interests.
Serious congrats on your past year!
Take it from me and from one who is there too right now.
You have a LOT of time on your hands! Why not spend it getting involved with things to occupy your time, where you'd meet new people and you'll have fun, to boot?
What do you like to do??:)
Things I can suggest:
Coed tennis lessons, coed anything lessons, volunteering for a good cause --- lots of volunteer groups have a "young" division that's strictly geared to the younger and unencumbered volunteers, take up a new hobby, take some night school classes, sign up for ballroom/Latin/tap/hip hop/modern dance lessons, learn photography, learn to paint, sculpt or do pop art.:) -- sign up for lessons.
After the lesson or whatever it is is over, tell people you will be going for drinks at a local bar or heading over to the local diner or coffee place for something to drink...and ask who wants to join you?:)
Thank you for all your responses... I was just in a low place last night. I'm better now. I mean, I still want a love in my life and etc, but I'm not as lonely tonight.
Now, i hope you don't misunderstand me, all that stuff took more than a year. I was seperated from my ex for three years before I could afford the divorce. I knew he wouldn't help pay half or anything of the like. I had to pay off our debt from him going in and out of jobs and racking up bills on credit cards in order to survive. Then there was keeping myself afloat in school, going through a breast cancer scare and other such stuff.
Thankfully I was living with a parent from the time I left the ex, so I could get on my feet again. Doublely thankfully, despite living in a community property state, the judge saw I paid down all our joint debt, all my own personl debt, and put myself through school. My ex had done none of that. The judge told the ex he could shove it... as far as the ex was not entitled to half my salvings and could keep all the debt he had racked up. The ex had been wanting to take half my money and for me to take responsiblity for his peronal credit card debt he had racked up.
After three years, I moved out of my parent's house. I started the divorce and that took six months to a year. So it's been almost a year since the divorce.. and here I am.
As much as I really do want to get in touch with 2 of the 3 brothers-in-law... I question what good would it do? It would just create turmoil if the ex were to find out. I just don't need that in my life. I was just missing having a family last night, is all. I don't get to see my siblings very often since the four are scattered across the country. I don't have kids of my own. My step-daughter disowned me when she realized my ex and I weren't getting back together (which about kills me because I'm the reason her father tracked her down and got back in touch with her after over a decade of being apart). So... I was just a bit sad of not having that feeling of family. And... well, that was obviously the day we always got togetger as a family.
Anyway... thanks again for reading my rant... Hope you guys have a great weekend!!
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