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Trouble
I just don't know anymore. DH and I fight now constantly. I feel belittled all the time and he says that it is just me twisting everything to make me be the victim. He called me lazy, rude, and selfish yesterday, a 3rd grader the other day. He says I take him for granted. But I feel like I am being taken for granted. I work 40 to 50 hours a week...not including the hours I work from home on the weekend just so we can pay our bills in the summer since he does not work in the summer. he says I dont make him feel like a man because i ask him to find a summer job before his job is up in May. I work and come home. I am starting to love work more and ended up getting a promotion at my job. Right now I would rather be single for the rest of my life then continue in this marriage feeling the way I do.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
Re: Trouble
This stuff needs to stop.
Sit him down -- after he's had ample time to calm down -- and tell him you are not crazy about the name calling and other defensive nonsense and as per immediately he will stop it.
Lots of people find summer jobs! I remember when that was the norm for teachers, college kids and other personnel whose jobs were seasonal and X number of months of the calendar were "off" for those people.
Football players used to have off season jobs! Did your H know that? Yep --- they worked as sales people and other jobs --- all of this was before the money became huge and then they skipped working summer jobs.
In short: he needs to stop the puerile nonsense.
How about this: Instead of working a summer job, he steps up to the bat and does all the housework during the summer months when you are not home -- cleans, does laundry, takes care of chores outside, etc.
I think that is a pretty good deal. Suggest it to him. GL.
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating
Read a pop psychology book called The Care & Feeding of a Marriage. Sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone & make the other person feel appreciated. The idea is if you give of yourself, the other person will learn from your example & be more generous to you.
Him calling you names is not acceptable but before you throw away a marriage over some words, I'm leaning toward the idea that words were how he is expressing his frustration.
Can you talk calmly about the issues? If he didn't get a summer job & you weren't working, what was his plan to get through the months until his job resumed?