Sex & Romance
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Low T / vitamin deficiencies? (long-ish!)

I'm usually on TB, but decided this would be a more appropriate board for these questions!

DH has had a seriously low sex drive for the past few months (since about march). We've just kind of brushed it off as him being tired from his new job, my changing hormones from pregnancy, and basically just anything else blame can be shifted to.

fast forward to me complaining about never having sex, crying because I feel fat (we are a normally very fitness/ physique oriented couple), and not feeling "wanted." He has a  chat with a co-worker and decides to get tested for Low-T. He has all of the other symptoms. Fatigue, moody, no sex drive, somewhat depressed, etc...

We got the test results back this am and it turns out it was just anemia and a vitamin D deficiency... and I'll admit I'm almost disappointed. I thought he would just rub some gel on himself and want to get sexy with me again.
Now I don't know what to do. has anyone else had this? do vitamin deficiencies and anemia often lead to low sex drive in men? 

FWIW- I may be over-thinking this, but maybe I just needed to vent and recive some feedback :)

TIA 

Lilypie Maternity tickers

Re: Low T / vitamin deficiencies? (long-ish!)

  • I do feel that you are overthinking this......once his body has a chance to recover he will be fine and things will return to normal, it's just going to take a few days/weeks for his body to correct his blood deficiency etc.

     

    The fact is that a mans sexual ability and urges are actually due to a cocktail of different hormones, vitamins and trace elements etc, of which testosterone is but one component.

     

    Anemia is a fairly miserable condition so he must have been feeling quite wretched for a while and this in turn will have made him extremely depressed.  In turn, depression is one of the bigest deflators of male 'interest'.   Incidentally, ALL of the symptoms  that you have listed are present in a range of illnesses and since the sexual urge depends on all of these being ok it's not surprising that sexual urge/appetite is so easily curbed.

  • You need to have a very long talk with him about why your sex life is nonexistant.

    Maybe it's even the fact you're pregnant. He might feel uncomfortable initiating sex while you're pregnant. If you are medically cleared to have sex, there should be NO problem.

    If he is physically able to perform, he needs to meet your needs at least halfway. Twice a week for sex would be spectacular.

    Something else is going on here if he refuses to get busy after you have made it clear you have needs: an affair, he's decided no more sex with you or perhaps your relationship is over.

    The last one of those 3 stinks --- and yeah, so do the other 2 --- but you need to talk to him.

    Do it this weekend, without fail.  Be as frank as you can and be as up front as you can.

    he's got to get the message that he's got to please YOU. This is now a character issue and an issue of ensuring his spouse is happy and satisfied.

    Set a deadline for him to start ensuring you are sexually satisfied.

    Anemia and a Vitamin D deficiency do not cause a lack of nookie, in my opinion. something is going on here; you need to find out why he won't get busy.  Nip this problem in the bud now. GL.

     

  • I've had anemia-its symptoms mimic depression, and so does lack of vitamin D. It's actually fairly serious, depending on the case, not a 'just' scenario. As you know depression, exhaustion, lack of concentration will destroy your sex drive and make work much harder.

    Take iron pills(vitamin c helps them absorb), vitamin D supplements, and make sure he gets sunshine or he won't be able to process the vitamin D. See a doc for a treatment plan.

    He'll rebound into friskiness for you! When my anemia corrected itself I felt so much better!  

  • I would imagine that any health issue would lower sex drive. If you don't feel well then you don't want to do it. 
  • Just started using these posts and came across this one. I had the same thing happen. my husband has been on vitamin d for almost 6 months now. we still have no sex life and we haven't had children. in our case it actually is depression. I won't go into details but we're in couple s counseling and even though we haven't gotten physically intimate I"ve noticed a big change in him.

    Things will go back to they way they were as long as you both want them to and you talk things out. just keep communicating. That's what has kept us together the whole time.

  • edited August 2013
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