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Husband and I have different views on the dog...
First off, we both love our dog...however, Ill admit my hubby and the pup are joined at the hip. That being said we (husband and I) have slightly different views on bringing the dog places. He thinks she should go everywhere and my thought is sometimes it is not appropriate. Case in point, we are going to his brothers in a few weeks for a family bbq. His brother and wife have 3 young kids and no pets. The wife is not a dog person and quite honestly the kids are little (from a year and half to five)...and every time I have seen them around dogs they are a bit timid and dont seem comfy. They have no fenced -in yard where we can let her off leash to play and get some energy out away from the kids. Our dog is going through some serious summer shedding so I explained the vacuuming my sister in law will have to do after we leave. My thought is leave her home..he wants to bring her and plans on asking them.
She absolutely cannot be off leash around kids, shes 75 lbs of crazy energy. As a rescue, we got her in Nov and are still working on manners. I think its rude to push your pet on other people in their own homes, ESPECIALLY when they aren't dog people. Abby (our pup) will shed all over there house, will be insane b/c she wont be allowed to run around freely. I tell my husband no and he's so stubborn...Im worried his brother and sister in-law will cave. I told him if she comes she is his responsibility for the day. I want to visit with my nieces and in-laws and don't want to deal with having to leave for an hour to walk her around their neighborhood to drain her energy.
Re: Husband and I have different views on the dog...
The way I approach things like this is that unless our dogs are specifically and explicitly invited, I do not bring them, and I don't ask whether they can come (unless it's some sort of emergency, but I haven't encountered a situation like that, and if I did, I would probably just decline the invitation altogether rather than asking if the dogs could come too). If your BIL and SIL did not specifically invite the dog, I don't think it's appropriate (or polite) to bring her uninvited. I also think that pressuring them ahead of time to allow her to attend is inconsiderate and puts them in a really awkward position.
I adore my dogs more than anything and would love to spend every possible moment with them, but I completely understand that there are some places/events that are not dog-appropriate/friendly and that everyone has the right to decline to have someone else's pet in their home/at their event.
This. I will happily take my dogs anywhere, but unless they are specifically invited, I don't bring them.
Have you seen my monkey?
Add one more to this team.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being so considerate about your dog! I was attacked by a dog as a child, and situations get dicey when people presume that a high energy dog with iffy manners is awesome to force upon me. It's aweful, because dogs are so sensitive to body language, that if a fear situation arises, who knows what can happen.
The kids you talk about, in particular, are at a sensitive age. If they already show fear or timidness around dogs, an untrained high energy large dog is NOT the best way to introduce them to dogs in general. They're going to come away from the situation not liking dogs at all, which is sad, because dogs can be such wonderful companions. Maybe you can bring your pup in a year from now, after some obedience classes?