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Wording for DH birthday "gathering"
My DH's birthday is in 2 weeks, and his only request for his birthday is to be "surprised"
I am out of work right now to be a full-time nursing student, and money is tight.. so I am inviting his friends to a local restaurant/bar to celebrate with us. It's very informal, and the invitation is done via facebook and email.
I need help with 2 things
1 - I need it to be clear that this isn't catered (and guests will pay their own way)
I think I've made it clear and polite, what do you think?
2 - Gifts are definitely not expected, especially since I'm not buying the food.
Should I say something about this, or just leave it out completely?
This is what I have so far:
[DH] will not know that our friends (you!) will be there, so PLEASE DON'T SPOIL THE SURPRISE!
The Tiki Bar is an outdoor restaurant/bar on Lake Minn with a basic menu of burgers, sandwiches, wings, etc. They serve beer and wine, and the prices are pretty average.
I will buy the first few pitchers of beer (Yuengling), and bring a cake!
I was going to put "No gift's please" but it sounds sort of presumptuous
I found "Your present is the only present desired" on some other websites but I don't really like that either.
Also, I think my hubby would appreciate gifts.. I just don't want people to feel like they have to bring one when they already have to pay for their meal. We are not very strict on etiquette, and neither are our friends.. I just want to be considerate because I know that if I go to celebrate someone's birthday, I feel like I should bring a gift no matter what kind of gathering it is.
Re: Wording for DH birthday "gathering"
What you have sounds a little overworked (which is easy to do when you're too close the situation). I'd try something like: "It's a surprise! Please join us for dinner at The Tiki Bar on Lake Minn for John's birthday. I'll provide beer and cake. Hope you can make it. Don't forget it's a surprise!" There's no need to describe the restaurant - people know or can guess or google.
Never mention gifts. And I think they're unlikely anyway. I just threw a surprise bday party last night for someone's 30th and no one brought the bday girl gifts, just a couple cards.
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I agree with everything Tarheels said.
Also, just a thought, bars near me often offer 'wrist band' specials for birthday/bach parties, etc. It's usually $25-30, and includes an open bar for 3 hours or so. Some even throw in appetizers. It's nice for the guests as they have a fixed cost for the night's festivities. You order your drinks at the bar like normal, but since you're wearing a pre-paid wrist band, you don't have to pay.
I would never send out an invitation to a party and have the guests pay their own way. That is horribly rude. If you sending out an invitation you need to pay.
If you cant afford that then host your guests properly at your own house and cook your own food.
ETA-missed a word
This as well.