Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Orgasm? What is that???
Okay. So my husband and I are newly married, but have been together for YEARS!! We had been having sex for 3 years before I had a "stimulated" orgasm. That is all I can appear to have. I really want to have an orgasm while having intercourse whether that is by clitoral or G-Spot stimulation. At this point, it doesn't really matter to me what kind. I feel like we're missing out on an important intimacy issue. Before I had the first orgasm I was completely down about it and depressed which didn't help the issue. Now that is totally not a problem at all, I just need some guidance. We have read books and looked up websites ect. I know it cannot be this difficult. Are there any suggestions? Like books, or positions, or ANYTHING!!! Thanks!
Re: Orgasm? What is that???
http://www.uic.edu/orgs/cwluherstory/CWLUArchive/vaginalmyth.html the vagina is not really that sensitive and is not designed to have orgasms. The most sensitive part of your vagina is the first three inches so if you want to see if it is even possible with you.. which it may not be since thats not its purpose and most women don't experience that kind of orgasms. you may want to consider getting a penis cage or a c ring so that you can have clitoral stimulation WHILE he is inside you. something like this -> http://ww2.pureromance.com/PUBLICSTORE/catalog/C-Rings-and-Sleeves,152.aspx
edited to make links clicky
yes, either you or he can play with your clitoris while he is inside you or you can get a c-ring like i mentioned above and it will stimulate your clitoris.
you may also get clitoral stimulation via doggy style if he is vigorous enough for the balls to hit your clitoris.
hope that helps.
As a man I can't really help you with direct info about female orgasm, however, I am absolutely certain that the male partners 'attitude' is a vital factor in whether his woman reaches orgasm during intercourse.
Various authorities claim that only about one third of women (or less) can reach orgasm during penetration....however, I have come to believe that this is largely due to the mindset and technique of their men.
Young men are pre-occupied with the head of their penis and in getting off,...so, when inside their woman their thoughts are dominated by the urge/need to thrust in order to excite the penis and reach a climax........Unfortunately, this is NOT going to be the best method of stimulation for the female partner. If you can get your man to 'put his mind' into the base of his shaft rather than the head and think about using it to work against your clitoris then you will have a MUCH better chance of being stimulated.
I have found that a 'nudging' and 'lifting' action helps to bring penis and clit together...also adding in some hip rotations in the time honoured 'screwing' movement also helps. Alternatively, you can go on top of your man and 'grind' on his pubic bone...it helps a lot if he concentrates on trying to stimulate YOU rather than him...once you start to get really excited it's quite easy for him to catch you up!
Lastly, research the so called 'cat posture' which was popular a few years back...it is also sometimes called 'horizontal alignment postition' etc....basically a method of intercourse that encourages stimulation of the clit with the base of the mans penis........Good Luck!
Many Many women don't orgasm from intercourse alone. They require direct stimulation of their clitoris to get to orgasm. Additionally, for most women the 2nd, or 3rd, or 6th orgasm is 'easier' to get to than the first BY A LOT. So I propose you and your H try something like:
1) foreplay, kissing, touching, getting excited
2) he gives you oral until you orgasm (69 here is another variant that keeps his penis more engaged but gives you what you need to orgasm)
3) he uses his hands to give you another orgasm... or two...or three
4) intercourse time focusing on positions where you get a lot of direct stimulation (doggy style, legs folded behind the head, etc). Now you're much more likely to get that orgasm during intercourse. Even then, adding you or him playing with your clit, or direct vibrator stimulation of your clit, can help.
During intercourse, if both you and your H are focusing on positions and motions that help you toward orgasm, the likelier things are to end up there. You have to communicate when something is working, or when it's time to try another position/motion. He can't read your mind. Have fun!
You've never done it so of course you don't know what an orgasm feels like.
I suggest you check out the book "Sex for One" by Betty Dobson. They call her the mother of masturbation.
Do it by yourself, then show him. I guarantee you when you start to find out what touches turn you on and where, you'll have orgasms a plenty.
Your man also needs to be going down on you. Another sure fire way to get off.:)
Try the woman on top position --- that allows you for plenty of clitoral stimulation; he can also stimulate your clitoris during sex or you can do it, if the spirit moves you.
Try mutual masturbation, also.
I second the recommendation of Sex for One. Great book. If you're assuming your H will just figure out how to get you to great orgasms, you're doing it wrong. You have to figure it out, and can do so alone or incorporating him into the delightful educational process.
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