Vent

bpphoto785

I just need to vent and I can't really do it to H because it's about a family friend who he thinks of as another sister, she's also SIL's best friend.  

In the almost 9 years H & I have been together she met/married/divorced her first husband and has now met/become engaged to her second husband. I went to the first shower and wedding and gave gifts at both events. Well now she's having another shower which I'm invited to.

I REALLY don't want to go. She's only registered for stupid (and expensive) crap because she already got all of her necessities from her first marriage. I really don't want to buy a present and drive all the way to the other side of the state to give it to her. And that goes for both her shower and her wedding. I'll probably end up going to both for H (and his family) but I thought somebody should know that I won't be happy about it.

leopardgurl831

One of my BFFs is divorced and getting married to someone else.  I stood up in the first wedding.  I will also be standing up in the second wedding.  This wedding is being planning bigger and better than the first with bridal shower, bachelorette party, and all.

I feel your pain.  

cpm1223

Can you have "something come up" and decline going to the shower? It's insane that she's having one in the first place, ugh!

 I think you're stuck going to the wedding but you could give less than you normally would for a gift.  

mancila60

While I understand you not being happy about it and I think it's a little crazy of her/them to expect certain things I do think you could still give a gift that won't break the bank and yet make her happy. What if you gave a gift card or some personalized items? That way it's nice and thoughtful yet not blowing the bank with her expensive taste.

vineyard12

I can understand why you're displeased with the idea of a shower for a second marriage if she's asking for stupid and expensive crap. I'd decline the shower and send a lovely card with maybe a gift card. It doesn't have to be much. But I'd suck it up and go to the wedding. Leave it up to your h on what he wants to give with another lovely card.

toothpastechica

vineyard12 said:

I can understand why you're displeased with the idea of a shower for a second marriage if she's asking for stupid and expensive crap. I'd decline the shower and send a lovely card with maybe a gift card. It doesn't have to be much. But I'd suck it up and go to the wedding. Leave it up to your h on what he wants to give with another lovely card.

This exactly....get out of the shower, (and if you are not close to her, I wouldn't feel pressured to give her anything for the shower, maybe I am tacky...but having a shower when you don't need anything is tacky too..) and just give her a card with cash or a gc for the wedding.