CPW: How far are you willing to go? GP-related

ILoveRedVino · August 2013

Just curious how far you'd be willing to go to carry a baby.
*As of now. I believe that minds can change when actually faced with the decision.

amccul20 · August 2013

I agree with you. I think as you go through IF your feelings on this can change.

Flamingo86 · August 2013

I agree that minds can change as well. I used to say that I would never see an RE, but now we are. Right now we stand that we are okay with medication but not with IUI or IVF. Mostly b/c that's as far as our insurance goes and after that we would rather save our money for adoption.

Sewilson33 · August 2013

I think I would do whatever I could with whatever options I had.

islandmonkey8 · August 2013

Right now DH & I are in the "do whatever it takes" camp. We also live in a state where infertility coverage is required by insurance so our OOP costs aren't as crazy (under $7000 max a year I think). I feel like I would do almost anything to carry a baby. I think we'll basically go to any lengths to have a child. But who knows what may happen.

transponster · August 2013

Right now, it's IVF with my eggs and his sperm, but I don't know what, if any, problems we have yet. I'm sure it would change though.

LuckyAngel07 · August 2013

As of right now, up to and including taking medication to increase ovulation/egg maturity/etc. But that's without a diagnosis of DH's sperm. If he turned out to have really crappy swimmers, I'd absolutely go for IUI.

I can't wrap my head around IVF yet.

brij2006 · August 2013

I would do all of it, but I know H and I do not see eye to eye on this. He is okay with IUI and said he will revisit IVF if it comes down to it. But at this point he is willing to live a child-free life if we can't have our own biological children. So for me, I don't view adoption as an option with us, but we both know that will change once we get further into things.

nfp147 · August 2013

I never ever thought I would give myself injections and do and IUI, but we did. Right now, we don't think we'd go further than IUI. We're also 38 and 41. If we were younger, we might consider doing more, but I won't keep trying after 40.

DangerMuffin23 · August 2013

DH volunteered! to do an SA last night if I feel like it's necessary!! Woot! I would def do IUI or IVF with our eggs and sperm, but yes, if it came down to it I'd use donor eggs/sperm with IVF over adoption first.

Xan921 · August 2013

We have both said that we'd do IUI. I'd be open to IVF with my eggs and his sperm but at this point in time Dh says he wouldn't want to do that. We have pretty decent coverage for whatever we end up needing which is a blessing.

If it comes down to it, Dh and I are both ok childless though.

ILoveRedVino · August 2013

We're obviously doing IVF (with our own eggs and sperm), but it is something that I once said I wouldn't do. But then, you know, that was the only option. I did see a priest and while he didn't say it was ok, he did say that the Vatican is changing and he'd hate for us not to do it, have it be accepted in 10 years, and we'd have missed our chance.

We won't do donor eggs/sperm/embryo because a) there is no reason to believe we need to do that, and b) I've already done the pregnancy thing.

We'll adopt if FET isn't successful. I have zero doubt that I can love a non-bio kid just as much as a bio kid, and think there is something really beautiful about families that are created through adoption.

Aimothy · August 2013

brij2006 said:

I would do all of it, but I know H and I do not see eye to eye on this. He is okay with IUI and said he will revisit IVF if it comes down to it. But at this point he is willing to live a child-free life if we can't have our own biological children. So for me, I don't view adoption as an option with us, but we both know that will change once we get further into things.

This was Jimothy in the beginning. He just didn't want to spend the money more than he opposed the practice of IVF. But then we found out that is the only way we could likely have a biological child and his change soon started to turn.

Adoption was not something we thought we'd ever do...now it's starting to sneak its way into the conversation just like IVF did.

Uptowngirl2009 · August 2013

I have always said that we will not do IVF because we probably can't afford it and it is definitely not covered by insurance. My insurance specifically says that Assisted Fertilization Treatment is not covered. I'm not really sure what all they would consider to be under that category. I would definitely consider IUI depending on costs.

brij2006 · August 2013

@Aimothy: It's crazy how much your mind can change on things. H originally didn't want to do any meds or anything. Then he went to the appointment with me a few weeks ago and the Dr explained to him that our chances without are less than 10%. So now he's on board with those, and after the Dr explained IUI to him, he said that he is okay with that also.

For him it is more the cost of everything. He doesn't want to spend $20k on "trying" to get pregnant, when we could've put that money toward traveling or buying a home on the lake. I don't want to not give it a shot now and regret it later when it's too late.

rccola1981 · August 2013

I am somewhere between I'd take medication and I'd do IUI. We go through the Catholic health system right now and I really appreciate some aspects because they line up with my insurance guidelines, I have some qualms about IUI but DH has expressed some interest in pursuing it.

seahorse01 · August 2013

We were in camp no IVF and then we did IVF. Then we thought we wouldn't do donor and now DH talks about coming up with the money for that. He is getting more open to adoption as well. Stealing babies is absolutely a last resort though. We won't go any farther than that.

Flamingo86 · August 2013

seahorse01 said:

We were in camp no IVF and then we did IVF. Then we thought we wouldn't do donor and now DH talks about coming up with the money for that. He is getting more open to adoption as well. Stealing babies is absolutely a last resort though. We won't go any farther than that.

:-bd

fajita814 · August 2013

I would go "all the way" with donor sperm/eggs etc. that being said, we met a beautiful little girl that swayed us towards adoption & so now we are going down that path. We may still do IVF in the future with donor sperm....

amandaf6383 · August 2013

I just want to be a mom. I would prefer that it is biologically but there is no doubt in my mind that Tom and I would be the best parents and love our children fiercely whether we share genetics or not.

That being said, we will try to exhaust the biological options first.

sparklingdiamond · August 2013

Right now I am willing to do IVF with our own eggs/sperm, but I think if that can't happen, I would be open to donor eggs/sperm.

MRads · August 2013

seahorse01 said:
We were in camp no IVF and then we did IVF. Then we thought we wouldn't do donor and now DH talks about coming up with the money for that. He is getting more open to adoption as well. Stealing babies is absolutely a last resort though. We won't go any farther than that.

Surprise adoption. That way it's not a crime.

BioGirl21 · August 2013

When H and I had this discussion, we said that we would do IVF if we had the money for it/were able to finance it. Donor eggs and sperm were something neither of us was open to. If we had needed to go that far, I would have probably done at least two IVF cycles and if they didn't work we would start saving for adoption.

vpine · August 2013

I've done IUI and had always thought I wouldn't do IVF since I feel it's not 'natural' but after trying 2 years, my thoughts have changed and I'd do IVF.

CincodeMayoLove · August 2013

In my 4.5 almost 5 years I went through each of those options as "all i would do" except for the last.

CincodeMayoLove · August 2013

And the only reason I wouldn't consider donor, it's because we don't need it in our case. If IVF doesn't work were adopting or childless

Aimothy · August 2013

teacherlady79 said:
We originally said we drew the line at IVF--the amount of money and subsequent debt we'd be in was something we just couldn't accept at the time. Now, we're seriously considering it.

And now you won't need it! Yay!

LittleLady77 · August 2013

I will say it was very difficult living each and every one of those decisions.

MrsS728 · August 2013

My husband and I made a deal that we would go as far as we could emotionally and financially to conceive a baby as long we were both on board. If it isn't in the cards, we agreed NOT to find a donor, but are open to adoption. Some are open to donors, but for us.....our kids are either going to be 100% blood ours or 100% adopted. We are not willing to go half way on this.

RockABye · August 2013

I'm undecided at the moment. We've done injectables with IUI and I said I'd never do IVF but we have one Injects/IUI left then that's our only option. I haven't wrapped my head around it yet but I'm more open to it than I was. I'm not sure if we will do IVF or just move to adoption. I absolutely think feelings can change as the process progresses

poppies717 · August 2013

We're obviously doing IVF (with our own eggs and sperm), but it is something that I once said I wouldn't do. But then, you know, that was the only option. I did see a priest and while he didn't say it was ok, he did say that the Vatican is changing and he'd hate for us not to do it, have it be accepted in 10 years, and we'd have missed our chance.

We won't do donor eggs/sperm/embryo because a) there is no reason to believe we need to do that, and b) I've already done the pregnancy thing.

We'll adopt if FET isn't successful. I have zero doubt that I can love a non-bio kid just as much as a bio kid, and think there is something really beautiful about families that are created through adoption.

I love this. DH and I are non-practicing-but-we-went-through-all-the-classes-and-sacraments Catholics, and while DH and I are both okay with IVF, it makes me nervous with his religious family members. This is a wonderful point to turn to if/when we have those discussions. Thanks for sharing!

CPW: How far are you willing to go? GP-related

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