Money Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: No thank you note 10 months after wedding?
Meh.
It may be rude, but I would hope people have better things to do than be pissed off about a lack of thank-you notes.
If you're really angry about something as trivial as this, how good a friend are you?
I think 10 months is ridiculous and lazy... but, are you positive they got what you gave, and that they knew it was from you? We had one wedding gift sitting in our apartment management office for weeks, unbeknown to us, before the sender checked with us. Likewise, someone ordered something online for my daughter, and it came with no indication of who ordered it. I have emailed and called the company that made it at least a dozen times, without a response (they have 120+ complaints filed against them with the BBB). I feel horrible about not sending that thank you note, but it could be one of probably 25 people, or some outlier we're not even thinking of... even if we did a "did you send us this?" facebook post, I would feel like we were trying to solicit more gifts, and I'm not sure facebook would capture the mystery person anyway. I really wish the giver would be surprised at my uncharacteristic non-thank you and ask if I got the gift! It's probably unlikely your friend falls into either scenario, but it's a possibility...
YF, I am not at all angry about this, and for the record this is really DH's friend, not mine.
In several of my posts over a period of time, you consistently seem to turn a question I have into a mortal flaw about myself. What is up with that?
My response was directed to the other holier-than-thou-thank-you-note Nazis in this thread.
If you think I'm persecuting you, you need to grow a thicker skin because I don't even remember who you are, to be honest.
Out of curiosity, how did I wrong you in the past?
We got married last year, and had two ceremonies - one in the US and one in India. You'd better believe we sent a personalized, hand-written card to every guest both in India and in the US, thanking them for their gifts and attendance. And, we got the cards out within 3 months of each event. Every night we'd sit down and bang at least five cards out, and we went through great lengths to get all the addresses - even of people who attended from remote villages in India. It just takes discipline. Clearly this couple had none.
I think in the past 10 years I've only received a couple of thank you notes (for any gift--wedding, baby shower, birthday, etc.), One was a Facebook message from my DH's cousin's wife thanking us for their wedding gift and the other was from one of his cousins who we had sent a small gift for her 10th birthday. That one was my favorite--she drew us a picture and used all her craft skills (and apparently all of her glitter and beads too, lol). I wish more people would take the few minutes to properly thank someone for a gift.
Some people are under the MISTAKEN notion that you have 1 year in which to write your thank you notes. WRONG. People have one year to GIVE the bride and groom a gift.
Thank you notes need to be written ASAP. If you have a lot of people attend a wedding - do 10 notes a day until you have them done. That certainly is not a burden.
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I wrote ours right when we returned from the HM.
Honestly, though, I wouldn't mind if the couple just verbally acknowledged the gift. Almost all of the TY cards I receive after weddings seem like someone was just rushing to get through a formality, rather than genuinely showing appreciation.
I did ours within two months of the wedding, but frankly I absolutely loathed the entire process. Writing by hand has actually become physically painful if done for more than a minute or two because I am not used to it.
I guess you will have to write this one off indeed. Nothing you can do.
If it's something that you had mailed and it was kind of costly to buy and mail --- or if it's money and you cannot account for the cancelled check, call the bride, say who you are and then ask, "Listen I was wondering if you got the crystal decanter/check we sent you for your wedding" and then explain the trest of the details. No harm in doing that.
As for a PP who said get them out within a week of the wedding... that means we'd have to write them on our honeymoon. No ways.