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When you hear that someone doesn't like a book you really liked, what is your reaction?

ShepherdjelShepherdjel member
Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer
edited September 2013 in Nest Book Club
So my discussion got some overwhelming responses for some! So I am very curious do you really judge if someone doesn't like a book you loved/really liked?

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When you hear that someone doesn't like a book you really liked, what is your reaction? 69 votes

No, everyone has different tastes and opinions
34% 24 votes
Yes! It isn't the book, it is them!
17% 12 votes
Depends on the book
43% 30 votes
Special Snowflake
4% 3 votes
«1

Re: When you hear that someone doesn't like a book you really liked, what is your reaction?

  • 95% of the time I'd say different strokes and shrug it off, but there are a very few, very special books that if someone couldn't at least APPRECIATE, if not like or love, I'd be concerned for them. TKAM is one of these for example.
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  • I judge. 

    Junewhatevs. 

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  • If I loved it and thought it was truly spectacular, I get judgey, but if I liked it and thought it was good or just light fun and someone didn't care for it, it's not a big deal to me. 
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  • I can't recall a time that it's made an impact on me for more than 5 minutes. I might get sad for a few, but other than that, I probably won't think about it ever again.
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  • My first reaction is to hunt them down, take them out and throw the body down a very deep well and dump a truck load of cement on top of them so they will never rise again.  Then I think about all my beautiful shoes that they won't allow me to wear in prison, so I just ignore and shun them.
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  • Honestly it depends on the book, the person and what they say.  



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  • It's especially worse when it's someone whose opinion I usually trust. Then it's a personal affront to my sense of well being. 

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  • 84Lauren said:



    So it's almost more like when someone hates one of those special favorite books, I feel judged by THEM. So my judging is just defensive judging.

    Shut up, I am making TOTAL sense here.

    Defensive judgement. That is (sometimes) totally true. Good point. You almost feel like they are insinuating you have bad taste. I never thought of it like this, but spot on.
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  • jackibackjackiback mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people not liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug.

    But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
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  • It depends on the book but if I really loved the book, I judge.  I'm a judgmental bitch, I'll admit it.
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  • jackiback said:
    So it's almost more like when someone hates one of those special favorite books, I feel judged by THEM. So my judging is just defensive judging. Shut up, I am making TOTAL sense here.
    Defensive judgement. That is (sometimes) totally true. Good point. You almost feel like they are insinuating you have bad taste. I never thought of it like this, but spot on.
    Yes.  Yes. 


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              Elizabeth Salom (elistar)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

  • jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.

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  • Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.

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  • RevJen said:
    Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.
    Then I feel like it wouldn't make it to your "Hated it" list or the list from today of books that you didn't like, right? Maybe I approach those kinds of things differently, because if there were a giant redeeming factor, like, say, it was written brilliantly, I wouldn't classify it as a book I hated, but as a book whose plot didn't catch me? 


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  • It depends on the book. There are some books that literally feel like they are a part of me and my life, I have connected to them in some way whether it was reading them during a time that I needed an escape or books that I grew up with. I've been teased for it but there are some books that I've connected with so strongly that when people say they don't like them, I feel like they aren't liking a part of me. And for some books, I truly cannot understand why anyone WOULDN'T love them.

    An example is the Harry Potter series. I grew up with these books. I started out reading book one not long after it was released here to my littlest brother before he fell asleep at night. We eagerly waited for each book to come out year after year. I have read the series more times than I can count. I've connected with the series and grew up with it. When I read that first book I remember reading it aloud to my little brother as he fell asleep. So when people say they like the series I truly cannot fathom WHY and despite my usual " Live and let live, different strokes and all that " approach, I kind of want to shake them and say READ IT AGAIN DAMMIT YOU WILL LOVE IT
  • jackiback said:
    RevJen said:
    Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.
    Then I feel like it wouldn't make it to your "Hated it" list or the list from today of books that you didn't like, right? Maybe I approach those kinds of things differently, because if there were a giant redeeming factor, like, say, it was written brilliantly, I wouldn't classify it as a book I hated, but as a book whose plot didn't catch me? 


    That's true. I retract my Night Circus from that post that I will not go in.

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    image

  • Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    RevJen said:
    Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.
    Then I feel like it wouldn't make it to your "Hated it" list or the list from today of books that you didn't like, right? Maybe I approach those kinds of things differently, because if there were a giant redeeming factor, like, say, it was written brilliantly, I wouldn't classify it as a book I hated, but as a book whose plot didn't catch me? 


    That's true. I retract my Night Circus from that post that I will not go in.
    Exactly. Like when people say they hate The Name of the Wind, I feel like they are PERSONALLY ATTACKING ME. 

    image image
              Elizabeth Salom (elistar)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

  • Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    RevJen said:
    Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.
    Then I feel like it wouldn't make it to your "Hated it" list or the list from today of books that you didn't like, right? Maybe I approach those kinds of things differently, because if there were a giant redeeming factor, like, say, it was written brilliantly, I wouldn't classify it as a book I hated, but as a book whose plot didn't catch me? 


    That's true. I retract my Night Circus from that post that I will not go in.
    Good, I can trust you again ;) 
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  • jackiback said:
    RevJen said:
    Hoycie said:
    jackiback said:
    If it is a book that I think has a great plot that carried me away, I'm ok with other people liking it bc maybe they get carried away by different things. I don't judge, I just shrug. But when I have loved a book because it is masterfully written, gorgeous words, beautifully painted characters, I really do judge. I assume that you aren't super smart if you can't at least appriciate well crafted art. I think there are some books that any reader, any lover of words would OF COURSE love even if the plot wasn't their favorite.
    This is how I feel about The Night Circus.  I think it was written beautifully, the characters were described well and all that jazz but the story just didn't do it for me.
    I think it's entirely possible to recognize phenomenal writing and still not like the book.  I've run across a few where I totally appreciate the artistry of the writer but the actual story didn't do it for me.
    Then I feel like it wouldn't make it to your "Hated it" list or the list from today of books that you didn't like, right? Maybe I approach those kinds of things differently, because if there were a giant redeeming factor, like, say, it was written brilliantly, I wouldn't classify it as a book I hated, but as a book whose plot didn't catch me? 


    It would depend on why you (general) said you hated it in the first place, imo.  Perhaps the writing wasn't enough to redeem it.  Some people may not make the distinction that you personally do.  It is contingent on the criteria people use to judge books in the first place.

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  • I'm glad I did this poll! I think it was needed!

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  • 84Lauren said:

    The thing is, if I am in love with a book that affects me in personal, emotional ways, and you say you hate it, you are saying you hate something about me. You may not mean it that way, but that is absolutely what it boils down to.

    So it's almost more like when someone hates one of those special favorite books, I feel judged by THEM. So my judging is just defensive judging.

    Shut up, I am making TOTAL sense here.

    Ditto.
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  • 84Lauren said:
    The thing is, if I am in love with a book that affects me in personal, emotional ways, and you say you hate it, you are saying you hate something about me. You may not mean it that way, but that is absolutely what it boils down to. So it's almost more like when someone hates one of those special favorite books, I feel judged by THEM. So my judging is just defensive judging. Shut up, I am making TOTAL sense here.
    This actually kinda makes sense to me. Never though of it this way...

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  • Depends on the book and the person in question.
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  • Most of the time, I'm good with people having opinions other than mine about books I've read.  I have a very select few where I feel the need to explain to people over and over why they're wrong.

    Until they change their mind and agree with me.

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  • I won't judge if you have a GOOD reason. If your reason sucks, I'll judge you like a motherf*****.
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  • MrsJenE said:
    I won't judge if you have a GOOD reason. If your reason sucks, I'll judge you like a motherf*****.
    You can say MOTHERFUCKER on the Nest now.  Yay!

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  • 84Lauren said:


    MrsJenE said:

    I won't judge if you have a GOOD reason. If your reason sucks, I'll judge you like a motherf*****.

    You can say MOTHERFUCKER on the Nest now.  Yay!


    Shit. I keep forgetting that.
    75 Books in 2015?
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  • I'm in the camp that will judge if someone hates a book that has significant literary merit, simply because it didn't appeal to them.

    I have a lot of 3-star books on Goodreads, because they had some pronounced redeeming qualities, even though I didn't really care for them.

    The one glaring exception is The Scarlet Letter. I think that the experts of American literature are all wrong, and Hawthorne was a pretentious asshat who didn't understand the concept of moderation. Not every fucking thing in the damn book needs to have some hidden meaning. And if you disagree, I will happily accept your judgement.
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