GP Moms
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: s/o Formula - - BF, FF or unsure?
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
I didn't really like the idea of BF right away. It seemed weird to me even though my mom BF and almost everyone I knew BF. Maybe because I am a modest person I just didn't like the idea of having my boobs out all the time. But it is something I got over pretty quickly. Not that I have my boobs out all the time now, in fact I am always careful to stay completely covered when I'm out in public. Even around my house in the early days I never walked around topless or without a bra on. I just felt more comfortable covered up and it worked out fine. I don't feel weird about nursing in public though if I'm covered and I definitely don't feel weird about BF in my house. Despite feeling a little bit uncomfortable with it I wanted to BF for health benefits, mainly for Evan. It isn't that I thought that the health benefits were huge. I admit that they might be small, but it was still worth it to me.
Early on I did have difficulty BF and left the hospital without having had him latch and feed properly. I decided to supplement with formula since he always seemed hungry and I felt I wasn't producing enough. Looking back I'm shocked that I made that decision so easily, because I know it can interfere with BF, but it felt so right at the time that I didn't even question it. My supply was not affected thankfully (in fact I had over supply issues) and supplementing with formula initially took a lot of the stress off.
Seeing a lactation consultant was delayed for me because of the holidays so early on I started out bottle feeding a mixture of pumped milk and formula and eventually just pumped milk. At that point in time pumping was really hard on me. Had I known that you can keep pump parts in the fridge instead of washing each time might have made things easier. Getting bottles in the MOTN was not fun either. I hated running downstairs to get them and then warm them up. Once I started BF it got much easier. I kept him next to my bed so I never even had to get out of bed to feed him. I just pulled him into my bed and then put him back. I also didn't really ever worry about how much he was eating. If he seemed hungry again I would feed him again. He ate as much as he wanted as often as he wanted and I didn't have to consider the volume. I also didn't have to worry about wasting milk because he didn't actually turn out to be hungry after all. Obviously these aren't huge issues, but these were small things that for me made it easier. Going out became significantly easier because I didn't have to worry about bringing along bottles and milk anymore.
Once we got into the groove of BF it just became a breeze. Even though we had some early issues I was lucky in that it didn't really hurt as much as I expected. So far I have never dealt with thrush or mastitis and I just had a mild clogged duct once or maybe twice. It was NBD. When we introduced solids it was a bit of a shocker- I have to bring food with us to give him when we go out? Ugh what a pain! I started to feel like I had been spoiled while we were EBF.
I think the biggest thing for me is that with BF I didn't feel pressured to have him STTN and drop MOTN feedings because BM and BF doesn't affect teeth the same way bottle feeding and formula do. I'm not saying this is a reason enough that you really should BF, but for me it took a weight off. My son eventually dropped MOTN feedings on his own and I really really love that I didn't feel pressured to make him drop them before he was ready. I also don't mind when he occasionally does want a MOTN feeding again. I'm not really a laissez-faire type of parent in most aspects so it was nice to feel that way about something that I knew could have been very stressful for me.
The part about BF that sucked? After we got the hang of BF he never accepted a bottle again. That was pretty hard. I felt like I had to be attached to him at all times. I was always on the clock and always had a tether. I couldn't go out too long and I couldn't go too far. I was always worried that he would wake up hungry so I wouldn't drink more than maybe an oz of wine. I missed being able to go out with friends for the night and I desperately wanted to do a weekend away. He also took a long time before he really ate solids so that just prolonged it. The fact that he refused the bottle also made my oversupply issues more of a problem. He was having trouble keeping up with the flow resulting in him swallowing too much air and getting really gassy, but there wasn't anything I could do. Pumping and having him drink from a bottle during the night until my supply was better regulated would have made the situation much better.
As far as reactions from others- DH wishes that we would have continued bottle feeding either pumped milk or formula. Honestly having him refuse bottles was really hard, but I'm still glad we BF. I nurse in public all the time and I have never gotten weird looks or bad comments. No one really comments on it at all actually. Sometimes strangers will sit right next to me or talk to me while I'm BF which I think is kind of odd, but whatever. I'm glad that they aren't uncomfortable. I'm sure I would have a different experience if I was uncovered while nursing.
If we have a second child someday I'm not sure what I will do about introducing bottles. I'm really committed to BF again, but I will be devastated if a future child also rejects bottles. I'm also not sure what I will do about supplementing with formula. I guess it will probably depend on the situation and how I'm feeling at the time. I do know I will not make the same mistakes I did with pumping and giving myself oversupply!
So that's all I guess. I still don't really see BF as being something particularly beautiful nor do I see it as a particularly special bonding time. I think you can snuggle your baby just as much while you are bottle feeding. BF was the right decision for me and my baby though and I'm really glad that I stuck with it. Now I just have to decide how long I want to continue.
To make you feel my love.
But after 10 days of supplementing, I was finally able to have enough milk to feed her BM exclusively. I was still needing to pump and bottle feed because the latch wasn't good, but I just kept attempting to give the breast first at each feeding and something just clicked at 2 mo.
We never looked back and I was able to then BF her until she was 15 mo old. I did need to take fenugreek a couple times when I noticed my supply starting to drop, but She never had a problem switching from the boob at home to the bottle at daycare and vice versa so we were lucky I suppose.
This time around, DS started nursing like a champ from day 1 and my supply has been great. We've had absolutely no issues. So for all of you that have had issues with baby #1 and are wanting to try again, know there is hope and each baby and even you are different each time.
I also feel like I've been much more relaxed about it this time and wasn't against supplementing if I needed too. With my DD I was so upset about it at first. Now I know that was just silly. I didn't need to feel guilty. I think being less stressed actually really helped as well.
.
I had intended to BF right from the start. It was HORRIBLY painful, like I'd cry just in anticipation, so I switched to exclusively pumping. That was better, but still pretty painful. Turns out there was a good reason for that.... I ended up with a blockage, which turned into mastitis, which turned into an abscess.
DO NOT READ THE REST IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR DON'T WANT TO BE SCARED OF BFING
I ended up having to have surgery and the surgeon said it was the worst he had seen. They got 12 oz of infected fluid out of my boob and since it was an infection, they couldn't suture it, so I had to stuff 3 FEET of gauze into a giant gaping hole in my boob every 12 hours for over a month until it closed up on its own. That was seriously the worst pain I had ever experienced. That was 10 times worse than recovery from childbirth.
Oh yeah, completely healed now. This was back in February. On the plus side, I was able to have my short term disability extended so I got another month paid maternity leave
In my opinion, are you feeding your child? Yes? Great. You're an awesome mom. The end.
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
BFP #3 Chart
It's true that BF babies get mom's antibodies, etc, have those benefits. But formula is fortified with things that are beneficial to babies, and seemingly the only thing they lack are the antibodies from mom. Breast milk IS special, ITA with you. And it changes with the feeding and as LO grows, while formula stays the same. That's very true. But I feel like you saying, "formula feeding isn't as good as breastfeeding" kind of makes the FF mothers seem...I don't know the right word. Like bad moms? Like we didn't choose what was best for our babies? Those of us that couldn't BF or even didn't want to, that we're not feeding our babies as well as BF moms are. Our kids are happy and healthy.
In regards to babies being sick while FF (not your topic, I know) my kid is FF, but he's also in day care and exposed to ev.er.y.thing so he stayed sick for the first 3 months at day care practically. My niece was FF and my sister is a SAHM and she never got sick. I don't think it's got a whole lot to do with BF vs. FF, but what your children are exposed to. He could have still gotten sick if I was BFing, because my antibodies are not what he is exposed to at DC.
I know you said you don't judge people who FF, but your statements make it seem like you are doing just that because formula isn't as good as BM. BFing is hard. And it sucks sometimes. I couldn't cut it and I respect any woman who can do it. But I also respect the women who decide that formula IS just as good for their child, because that is the choice that they want to make and I would never tell them that breast milk is better than formula. Sometimes there is enough guilt associated with not being able to (or not even WANTING to) breastfeed that it's probably the last thing a woman wants to hear.
I'm not trying to start that FF vs. BF debate that Jenna didn't want, I just had to speak my mind because of the way that made me feel. JMO.
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
As far as the propaganda statement- it was just in response to PPM's comment about how the "research is just propaganda to get moms to BF". Cinderin was just saying that statement didn't make sense. Propaganda is used to push financial or political gain. All she was saying is that the only one doing any advertising is the formula companies and they advertise for their specific formula brand not against BFing.
No one was saying FFing is bad. And really who cares if it's slightly better. I'm going to buy pre made baby food when the time comes. If I made my own from scratch it would be slightly better (just as BFing is slightly better) but I won't and that doesn't make me a bad mom. Choosing or having to FF doesn't make anyone a bad mom. BFing doesn't make anyone a good mom.
*Edit for my terrible spelling*
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
To make you feel my love.
Word. Well put.
You guys have no idea how much it hurt to have people tell me that I NEED to BF or tell me that I was giving up by giving my son formula after my surgery. You think I WANTED to have a giant gaping hole in my breast that looked like I was fucking rotting away or something? Yeah, not ideal. I didn't have any other options, so I did whatever I could to make sure my son was fed and healthy. Oh, and guess what? He hasn't been sick one single time in the 9 months that he's been here. (Ok, he has a slight cough right now, but that's it).
B Born 6.27.13
My Goodreads Read Shelf
* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
BFP #1 - 11/16/10 CP 12/1/10
BFP #3 Chart
Our Little Raspberry-Born 3/27/12
We Said I Do 09/06/09