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Put a Fork in Us
DH and I had a big talk a couple nights ago and we have decided to stop TTC. I’m feeling really okay with this, almost relieved.
I’ve never been someone who HAD to have children. And, the entire time we've been TTC, I've never actually envisioned our future with kids. A lot of our friends are now having children and while I absolutely adore them and love spending small amounts of time with them, I feel like I mostly see the sacrifices and not the joy that they bring (this makes me sound awful, but it’s the best way I can describe it). I look at their kids and think “there’s no break”, “I don’t want another full time job when I get home from my full-time job” and “I’d rather travel than pay for their university.” (Of course, if we did have kids we would make all the necessary sacrifices and absolutely adore them. This I do not doubt.) Maybe this is my mind’s way of coping with us not having kids. Or, maybe kids just aren’t as important to me as they are to other people.
We did an IUI in February and then decided to take a break. We decided that we would try another 2-3 IUIs (if needed) once we got back from London. Now that we’re back, I just don’t want to. I don’t want to spend the money; I don’t want to take the meds; I don’t want to think about ovulation and timing anymore. My heart just isn’t in this anymore.
My only fears are about growing old with no kids, but that’s not a reason to have children in the first place. I also worry that DH will resent this decision, but he swears up and down that he loves me and is happy with only me.
So, that’s where we’re at. I feel pretty positive about this. Who knows what the coming months and years will bring, but today I’m okay. We’ll just focus now on being the best Aunt and Uncle ever.
And, I’m sticking around here. None of you are lucky enough to get rid of me this easily.
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm
Re: Put a Fork in Us
B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
"I DO NOT love that you think so many things revolve around you. I know you're bitter. I get it. But I'm over your feelings." The best person on the internet ever!
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
In Christ alone my hope is found. He is my LIGHT, my STRENGTH, and my SONG!
T-TTC since Dec 2008. PCOS/nonexistant cycles(anovulation) and endo. HSG in '10 revealed both tubes blocked. Lap surgery in Dec '10 to correct. Failed Clomid/IUI and injectable(Bravelle)/IUI cycles so far.
~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP! Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64 Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. I feel that way a lot and we already have an older child. We have a lot of freedom to do things with him, that we couldnt do with a baby as well. I could have written that post myself from an emotional stand point. I have asked myself dozens of times over the years, "Is this something I really want"? Or is it a coping process I use to convince myself that I am ok without having another baby.
I do think people dont see the joy of a child like their own parents do so it makes it difficult to put yourself in that situation. Like you said, you know you would feel differently if you were in that situation, but you arent and there is no reason to force yourself to think that way if its not what your heart truely wants.
Keep your mind open for the future. Remember how you feel today if you have a day of doubt or sadness and then do something nice for yourself. You guys are making this decision for a reason.
Like you said, go be the best aunt and uncle any kid could ask for.
And you've received some great advice from PP!!
Katie, Jesse, and Breanna
We're getting married: March 1, 2014
TTC#2 4/14
A Parachute in an Oak Tree: A World of Love
Sounds like you both have a good plan in place for your future of traveling and spending time together. Enjoy being an amazing aunt.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340 Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com
You'd better live up to your promise of not leaving!
dx: Unexplained IF (mild MFI)
TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN
IVF #1 (May 2013): Antagonist Protocol:24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
IVF #2 (August 2013): Lupron Stop Protocol:
28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
FET #1 (April 2014): transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP
C.J. born 01/09/15
08/13: Started TTC - 07/14: PCOS dx
BFP 09/18/15 - Baby S 05/27/16
TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 DS born: February 21, 2012
TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
It couldn't have been easy to have that conversation, nevermind come to that conclusion, but at the same time, it's probably a relief.
I'm glad you're sticking around
After 2 years of TTC, lots of tests, and a Hysteroscopy/Laparoscopy to remove several polyps,
Clomid/IUI #1 3/14: cancelled due to surprise BFP 3/8/14.
Beta 1 3/11: 398 Beta 2 3/13: 728 Beta 3 3/20: 11,482
Surprise BFP turns into Surprise Twins!
Zoey and Garrett born 10/24/14 at 36+3
DX: MFI
Taking a break from being poked and prodded
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussTTC #1 since July 2012
Cycles 1-9: BFN
Cycle 10: Surprise BFP on 10/17/2013!
EDD: June 25, 2014
Baby Girl born via induction June 26, 2014
My TTC Journey Blog
TTC September 2013 | BFP 11/21/13 | Chart | EDD 8/3/14 | It's a girl!
DD born at 42 weeks 1 day | 8/18/14 5:33am | 8lbs 4oz 20.25in of perfection!
~ S & L 8-25-12 ~