Getting Pregnant
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WDGPT? (somewhat BR)

MIL wants me to talk to SIL's friend who had a successful pregnancy via her first IVF. As a back story, I do not like SIL, but I can put on the happy face for most family gatherings. It'd be nice to have someone I know IRL to talk to, but I don't want this friend going back and telling SIL everything I say. However, this is the first and only time MIL has offered real help. And then there's my tinfoil hat theory that SIL is just pissed that we haven't been over the moon about their son's birth, and she just wants everything "fixed" so her perfect world (that would include DH's and my adoration of her ability to birth children) can go back to the harmony she craves.
TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
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Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
3T<3

Re: WDGPT? (somewhat BR)

  • Do you know this person very well? Do you think she would tell your SIL?

    It is really nice to have someone IRL to talk to, so if you think you can trust her, I would give it a try.
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  • I have met her a few times. She's SIL's BFF.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • I'd go with your gut. If you feel like she's trustworthy and someone you would enjoy confiding in or talking to, it could be a good thing. If you're the least bit uncomfortable, though, I wouldn't do it.
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  • I agree with @Aimothy.  Since she's the BFF I think there is a slim chance that your SIL wouldn't find out everything you say.
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  • poppies717poppies717 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2013
    Thanks, ladies. Any advice on what to say to MIL when she brings it up with me? I want to be gentle because she feels like she's finally showing support (after being a total horror for the past year ( ETA: or so) about 3T). If I'm a bitch (which I so could be), it will make things worse for DH and me.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • Perfect. Thanks. She knows I see a therapist, so I'll remind her of that, too.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • It sounds like you've already made a decision, but it agree with not talking with this specific person. I tell my BFF everything. Even stuff I tell my DH I WONT tell her.

    imageimageimage
           Me: All Normal DH: .5% Morph
    Cycles 1-14 (Natural) all BFN
                                  Starting IUI#1 procedures Nov '13
                          IUI Cxl'd due to surprise natural BFP 11/1/13
            Calvin born on June 19th, 2014 via emergency c-section at 3lbs7oz
         
  • It sounds like you've already made a decision, but it agree with not talking with this specific person. I tell my BFF everything. Even stuff I tell my DH I WONT tell her.
    I pretty much knew what I was going to do. I just didn't know how to frame it with MIL. I knew you ladies would help me out! <3
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • This may be no help at all, but you could always meet her for coffee and just listen to her talk about her experience and ask her questions (and not give her any of your personal information). Just to feel it out. You might get a feeling of if she would keep your info confidential. If you wanted, you could also give her a couple tid bits of info and see if they make it back to SIL/MIL. 
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  • ^ I don't know if I would even go that far. If OP isn't comfortable talking to this person, and rightfully so, she shouldn't do it. And if MIL says something I would just say thanks but no thanks. No further explanation is needed.
  • ps - I'm dealing with a similar situation with my SIL. Don't even get me started but it's gotten to the point where I delete texts and emails from her.
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