17 and 30

jennifermcnatt · April 2014

Does anyone think under any circumstance that it is appropriate for a 17 almost 18 to date/ marry a 30 year old. (This is not me but some one i know)

sillygoosegirl · April 2014

The 30 year old has been in a coma for 10+ years?

Leftie22 · April 2014

I can't think of any scenario where the 30 year old isn't a creep. There's just no way for them to be equals at those ages. A 17 year old is a child. And probably in high school? Just gross.

cloudymeatballs · April 2014

No! I honestly think that is disgusting. I mean 17/18 they are still kids... That's just nasty wrong.

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

Not a good idea and yeah, just gross.

A 30 year old has zero in common with somebody 17.

Where the heck are her parents??? For now she is a minor and under their roof. They should be telling this character to stay away from her.

jennifermcnatt · April 2014

The couple is married and the parents are okay with it.

Kimbus22 · April 2014

Nope. If the parents don't care, that explains why the 17 year old (I'm assuming it's the girl who is 17) is seeking a new Daddy in her marriage.

artbyallie · April 2014

Never. At later ages, a 13-year age difference is not as bad (say, 53 and 40 or even 45 and 32) but when the younger party is a teenager, yeah, there is no way this is going to end well. There is almost certainly abuse on some level, even if it is that the younger person (and it's a younger woman and older man, isn't it? It always is) just doesn't ever question the older.

GilliC · April 2014

Time travel.

jennifermcnatt · April 2014

Girl is younger than guy.

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

jennifermcnatt said:

The couple is married and the parents are okay with it.

Hideous.

cloudymeatballs · April 2014

That is just wrong. Totally wrong. I cannot believe the parents are okay with it. Barf! That is way creepy. Sad, the young girl probably thinks she is old enough, mature enough. I remember when I was that young, I thought I was old enough, I really thought I was an adult. Now, that I am in my 30s, what a difference in age/maturity etc. A 30 year old should never be with a teenager. That is just straight out wrong on so many levels..

jennifermcnatt · April 2014

I always thought it was odd, but the couple seems very happy and all. My hubby thinks it's gross.

doeydo · April 2014

Does anyone think under any circumstance that it is appropriate for a 17 almost 18 to date/ marry a 30 year old. (This is not me but some one i know)

Yes. Sounds like my FI and myself, actually. I am in my 20's now. We are best friends and have lots in common. We have differences, too, of course and we are accepting of them.

blondii428 · April 2014

I don't know, I don't think those ages are too bad. Two of my very best friends are 31 and 21. Now pushing too much past 15 years is another story so this specific example is pushing it. If they're happy they're happy and who are we to judge?

spikeinc · April 2014

When I was 19, I dated a 32 year old for 3 years. It wasn't until I was much older that I saw the problems with him. He was an extremely immature man. He wasn't a "bad" guy and certainly was one of the nicer boyfriends I had in my life but I am so happy I didn't stay with him. A pp above is right that if her parents don't care that is the reason she is with him. It is too bad they are married. Under 18 is a no no in my book and he is definitely a creep. I would certainly put my ex in that same category regardless of how well he treated me. Someone who goes for someone that young has issues. Unfortunately it will probably take her some time before she realizes it.

Maybride2 · April 2014

I can only think of a couple reasons why a 30 year old man would marry a 17 year old girl. None of them are nice, healthy reasons.

LabLove86 · April 2014

spikeinc said:

When I was 19, I dated a 32 year old for 3 years. It wasn't until I was much older that I saw the problems with him. He was an extremely immature man. He wasn't a "bad" guy and certainly was one of the nicer boyfriends I had in my life but I am so happy I didn't stay with him. A pp above is right that if her parents don't care that is the reason she is with him. It is too bad they are married. Under 18 is a no no in my book and he is definitely a creep. I would certainly put my ex in that same category regardless of how well he treated me. Someone who goes for someone that young has issues. Unfortunately it will probably take her some time before she realizes it.

Very similar situation here - when I was 24 I dated a 42 yr old for 2 yrs. . . . and after the relationship ended - and the more time that passed - I realized that it worked because he was so immature in a lot of ways. Unfortunately - as I grew up (like your'e supposed to . . . . . ) he stayed the same and what we needed from each other changed. . . so the relationship no longer worked.

But I agree- she will realize this eventually - I just hope sooner rather than later.

Kimbus22 · April 2014

jennifermcnatt said:

I always thought it was odd, but the couple seems very happy and all. My hubby thinks it's gross.

She's happy because she gets to pretend to be a grown up and he's happy because he's got a toy to play with. This is fucked up on so many levels.

Kimbus22 · April 2014

blondii428 said:

I don't know, I don't think those ages are too bad. Two of my very best friends are 31 and 21. Now pushing too much past 15 years is another story so this specific example is pushing it. If they're happy they're happy and who are we to judge?

We can judge because we're talking about an adult and a teenager.

There is a world of difference between 17 and 21.

buttercup1958 · April 2014

That is really creepy. I mean i'm 20 and my SO is 28, but there is a major difference between dating someone in highschool and in college. I mean how lond did they date for if she is only 17 now?!

AdrianneLeblanc · April 2014

Maybe if she was 23 and he was 35, but at 17? NO WAY!

shaylagirl · April 2014

Another who thinks 17 is just too damn young.

I was 21 and dating a 33 year old (we dated for about 12 years), but even our situation was a bit weird and perhaps not quite normal upon reflection and looking at who my ex is currently dating.

There's a 10 year age gap between my husband and I, but, I was in my mid-30's and he in his mid-40's, so our temperaments and personalities were pretty well established, and we'd each dated enough to know what we wanted.

While a 17 year old usually has no clue and still has a LOT of growing up to do.

Sillygirl45 · April 2014

If a 30 year old man has to prey on a 17 year old child, there's most certainly something seriously off about him. Another thing is if they are 17 and 30 now and married, this started before this poor child was even 17. Sick and wrong. Her parents should be ashamed.

catsareniice1 · April 2014

Gross and wrong!

BlueBirdMB · April 2014

Seen it- it's usually gross. I did briefly date a 32 year old when I was 18 years old. I was of age then though. 17 is still under age. I was probably more mature than him when I was 18 years old-that's actually why the relationship didn't work. I've always dated men older than me, but since him, more like 6-7 years older, which is more sane. My parents actually knew about the 32 year old and were fine with it because they liked him and he was certainly not a creep. There are exceptions, but I've seen it where it was creepy and disturbing- they're married now though!

Josh416 · April 2014

My wife is 7 years younger than me - that's hard enough.

One great thing about dating younger women though - my wife had never seen the movie Airplane! when we started dating. I kept making jokes from the movie and she just thought I was a genius making it all up myself.

To this day, she might not know the truth.

grumbledore · April 2014

Josh416 said:

My wife is 7 years younger than me - that's hard enough.

One great thing about dating younger women though - my wife had never seen the movie Airplane! when we started dating. I kept making jokes from the movie and she just thought I was a genius making it all up myself.

To this day, she might not know the truth.

Ha this reminds me of my FI - he says the most brilliant things sometimes and for years I thought he was just really clever - turns out he's just seen a lot more movies than I have. Now every time he says something brilliant, I ask him what it's from.

But he's only a year older than me so.... as far as the OP goes, yes that's creepy.

TajahElijahsMommy · May 2014

I am 17 and Am with a 25 year old. I know it isn't 30, But still. If these people truly love each other than let them be. As long as they treat each other right and Her parents are ok with it then forget what everyone else thinks! Age is just a number.

DaringMiss · May 2014

TajahElijahsMommy said:

I am 17 and Am with a 25 year old. I know it isn't 30, But still. If these people truly love each other than let them be. As long as they treat each other right and Her parents are ok with it then forget what everyone else thinks! Age is just a number.

Age is not just a number. In some states, it is statutory rape.

I have an 18 year old step-daughter. She is very smart and is going to an Ivy League college. But she is still not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with a 25 year old. She needs more life experience and I would give serious side-eye to any person 7 years older than her who tried to put the moves on her.

kkitkat79 · May 2014

If she is old enough to be tried as an adult she is old enough to date and marry a 30 year old.

17 and 30

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