QOTD 4/4

minionlover · April 2014

If you were invited to a wedding and your DH was not, what would you do? Would DH do the same if he were in the situation?

Bonus points for those that actually ask their DH what they would do.

chasemamabear · April 2014

I would still go. After having my own wedding I have a much better understandingof why people simply can't invite everyone.

DH would go too and I wouldn't be bothered one bit!

mbuckley85 · April 2014

I would not go. I doubt DH would either. I find that to be a pretty serious etiquette offense and I would rather someone not invite me than to split a pair. I'm not in love with the fact that I have two weddings in the next month that I have to leave the little guy for. I feel like breastfeeding babies should not be excluded from weddings. I feel like rude people who don't remove loud babies/kids from situations ruin it for the rest of us. I don't feel so strongly about this that I'm staying home from the wedding though. I have paid for someone to come with us to babysit, so I don't have to leave Caleb home for 24-48 hours and instead can leave him in the hotel for the time.

For our wedding, I didn't invite "random guests". If someone wasn't in a well advertised relationship, they were invited as a single person. I still invited boyfriends and finances and husbands though. I just didn't want people going and finding a date on my dollar because I said they could bring a guest. We had a little bit of a space issue though, and would have had a hard time accommodating too many extra bodies.

mana8503 · April 2014

I find it very weird not to invite spouses... I understand bf/gf, but a spouse? It really depends on the couple of if I went.

catwine · April 2014

we wouldn't go without each other. I'm a part time wedding photographer so I spend a lot of time alone at weddings and it can get pretty lonely. I think I'd be offended if I was invited as a guest but I couldn't bring H.

For our own wedding we let people bring a plus one if they were in a serious relationship.

ramstein1027 · April 2014

That's just rude. I don't agree with not inviting kids BUT I can at least KIND OF see the point of that...but not inviting a spouse is like not inviting 1/2 of the person you are inviting. I wouldn't go, and frankly I'd probably write the reason on the reply card [-(

brainybrunette · April 2014

That's so RUDE! I would be extremely pissed off if that ever happened. I wouldn't go.

While we're on the subject, I was annoyed that we received a wedding invite with no postage on the RSVP card (I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, and assume they just missed one). It really bother me when people completely ignore etiquette.

For our wedding, everyone 18+ was invited with a +1. Not everyone brought a date, but those who did were extremely happy that they didn't have to be at a wedding alone.

mpjf1001 · April 2014

I wouldn't go without him and I'm sure he wouldn't go without me. I also think it is rude if someone didn't invite the both of us knowing we are married, that would make no sense.

For our own wedding we let everyone 18+ bring a guest.

The only time H was going to go to a wedding without me was 4 weeks after I had the baby, bc one of his good childhood friends was getting married. I ended up leaving the baby with my mom and brought my pump with me. The venue was very accommodating and gave me a private space to pump in. I didn't want to leave her but I trust my mom 100%.

mbuckley85 · April 2014

All of our people invited without a date were seated with friends or family. It definitely would have been awkward to sit alone but we didn't have the issue of having a single person who wouldn't know anyone at their table.

We also didn't invite boyfriend of people under 18. I figured any guest under 18 was with their family and it didn't seem necessary to invite those boyfriends. I really didn't want to invite my 20 year old cousin's boyfriend but I did because it was the "right" thing to do. They broke up the day before the wedding. He came anyway because that was also the "right" thing to do since he had rsvp'd. Made it awkward for them though.

mrshall1027 · April 2014

Neither of us would go to the wedding if only one of us was invited. It's rude and inconsiderate. If we were both invited to a wedding and only one of us could attend, that's a different story.

For our wedding, we allowed everyone a plus one that was an adult. Our wedding was pretty small, so we had a good idea of who was and wasn't in a relationship, so it really wasn't an issue.

snuff9861 · April 2014

Neither of us would go. For our wedding, we invited couples if they were together (dating, engaged etc) and no plus ones for the truly single people.

minionlover · April 2014

If either of us were in that situation we would not go. I feel that if your spouse isn't invited to the wedding then you aren't close with that person and you probably won't be missed at the wedding.

pockysquirrel · April 2014

I think it would depend on the circumstances. But there would have to be a really darned good reason.

islandmonkey8 · April 2014

Nope. Wouldn't go. Either of us.

For our wedding our age cut off (for financial reasons and guest limit) was 21. Everyone got a plus one. Of the 20 people who got plus one's - only 2 actually brought dates.

LDubHawksFan · April 2014

Neither of us would go.

It's one of the more serious etiquette offenses in my mind, especially for married couple!! But any level of relationship too. I mean the day is about their love and two people becoming one.....and they can't even be bothered to invite your spouse, partner, your other half. It's very disrespectful and degrading to other relationships.

consciousdear88 · April 2014

I think it would depend on the situation. I understand people may only be able to afford to invite so many. If I was sitting with a bunch of friends, I'd consider it. Otherwise, probably not.
DH would probably say no. He's not much of a social butterfly.

xxjen015 · April 2014

I would say no, and I'm pretty darn sure DH would too. We've been together for 7.5 years, so pretty much anyone who knows me would know they needed to invite DH. We gave some +1's, especially to friends who we knew didn't know many people at the wedding. I was totally okay with them bringing someone they weren't dating just so they weren't there all alone.

sjs1013 · April 2014

I would definitely say no. Not inviting both halves of a married couple is a huge disregard to etiquette. We invited everyone to our wedding with a plus 1. I have a few friends who came alone.

I have a friend who got married about 6 months before us. She invited me without H. I was unsure if I was going to go and someone told her. A few days before the RSVP date, she contacted me and said she had more nos than predicted and H could come. I wanted to be like I never should have been invited without him!

I asked H. He said he would take me with him anyway. When I said he couldn't, he said he wouldn't go.

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