Housewarming parties

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

So I have a friend who just bought her first house. She is planning a housewarming party specifically because she wants gifts...we never had a housewarming for our home because we bought it so close to our wedding. What is customary to bring to a house warming? she has indicated a few times that she is expecting to have hundreds of dollars in Home Depot gift cards after her housewarming.

I was considering re-potting one of my houseplants that has multiplied into a nice pot, am I off base?

hoffse · April 2014

Not off base. H and I usually do a bottle of wine for people we aren't close with, and liquor for people we are closer with (and whose drink tastes we know). The point is to "warm" the house with good energy, not to have wedding registry round 2.

I would actually really like getting a houseplant for a house warming. That's one of those things that's so far down the list of "stuff to buy" right after you move that it's a really nice gift and definitely has the immediate effect of making a house feel like a home.

WTF has she said about gift cards? I'm ridiculously curious - mostly because I judge that hard-core.

hoffse · April 2014

Also: I'm pretty old school and somewhat anti-cash and anti-gift cards when it comes to giving gifts. So I suspect your friend might disagree with me on a pretty fundamental level with this one.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

this is what she told me this past weekend "we opened a home depot credit card with 0% interest for 6 months to buy whatever we need for the house, we're expecting to get tons of gift cards at our housewarming, we'll use them to pay off the credit card"

I have no idea if gift cards can be used that way, she seemed pretty convinced that they could.

she's now conducting a survey on facebook to find the most ammenable date for her party.

I love my houseplants, most have been gifts, one from our realtor, most the others from my mom. The one I'm thinking about splitting is an off-shoot of a kaffer lily that belonged to my grandmother, it's got 6-7 little baby plants in the pot and is pretty pot-bound so I need to re-pot it anyways. it blooms with really pretty orange flowers about twice a year.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

I also have an aloe plant that is out of control...that's always a useful plant to have around

I never give gift-gards/cash...and prefer to go with a bottle of wine or baked goods when I'm not sure what to give.

hoffse · April 2014

I'm loving that - nice bright pop of color. I think that's a great idea, and I know I would appreciate it in a new house that I suddenly have to start decorating...

I suspect gift cards can NOT be used to pay off a credit card. As in, I'm 95% sure that's the case. But maybe I'm wrong with Home Depot?

This is like people who book a honeymoon they can't afford and just assume guests are going to reimburse them for it. H and I received less than $1,000 in cash for our wedding (big physical gift-giving circle), and we would have been toast if we had relied on that.

Please come back with stories after this blessed event...

emily1004 · April 2014

Maybe she's expecting them from her family because they said something. The first thing my MIL asked after we told her we were buying a house was,"I want to get you a gift, what do you want?!"

I, for one always bring a gift to a housewarming party. It's a special occasion for the person who just bought their first home and it should be celebrated. It's a huge life event. You give a gift because you love that person and you're happy for them.

H and myself will be throwing a open house/housewarming too. We don't expect gifts from every person who comes to the party, but we know our families and they never show up without something.

A plant or a bottle of wine is a wonderful gift. Now if she gets mad at you for not getting her a gift card, then I'd say it's time to ditch that friend.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

It's a really beautiful plant, native to South Africa, buying one mature-enough to bloom in the states can cost a few hundred bucks.

Can't stand the HM registries! I often shop off-registry for my really good friends anyways, but when we get invited to H's friends weddings I always cross my fingers that they haven't done a HM registry, 'cause most the time i rely on the registry!

I will let you know what happens, at the moment she's trying to plan the party for Memorial Day weekend.

I have a feeling she's going to be unpleasantly supprised when they can't use the gift cards to pay the credit card...I'm not sure that she's bought anything very extravagent, thought she did re-paint every room in the house, she also had a basement flood on move-in day and had to buy a shop-vac and new carpet padding for the finished part of the basement. (the house was a flip, so most of the interior was brand new since the flipper gutted the house)

SmrBrd2012 · April 2014

Hmm...just my humble opinion but that would annoy me. Who just outright expects gifts? I never even thought housewarming parties involved giving presents. I thought it was more just to show people the new place and guests bring food dishes or booze. I guess maybe house warming parties aren't very popular around me.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

SmrBrd2012 said:

Hmm...just my humble opinion but that would annoy me. Who just outright expects gifts? I never even thought housewarming parties involved giving presents. I thought it was more just to show people the new place and guests bring food dishes or booze. I guess maybe house warming parties aren't very popular around me.

This is what I thought...that's why I was thinking house plant or bottle of wine.

This is a friend who our circle of friends often jokes suffers from bouts of "only child entitlement syndrome", this may be one of those instances.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

emily1004 said:

Maybe she's expecting them from her family because they said something. The first thing my MIL asked after we told her we were buying a house was,"I want to get you a gift, what do you want?!"

I, for one always bring a gift to a housewarming party. It's a special occasion for the person who just bought their first home and it should be celebrated. It's a huge life event. You give a gift because you love that person and you're happy for them.

H and myself will be throwing a open house/housewarming too. We don't expect gifts from every person who comes to the party, but we know our families and they never show up without something.

A plant or a bottle of wine is a wonderful gift. Now if she gets mad at you for not getting her a gift card, then I'd say it's time to ditch that friend.

I guess, with the exception of bridal showers, baby showers, and weddings, I've never really thought that adults throw parties with the intent of getting gifts. Granted I never show-up to anything hosted by a friend empty handed, but throwing a party with the expectation of their being gifts seems wrong. Once we hit adult-hood I've always felt that you throw a party to spend time celebrating with friends...and perhaps the friends that come to that party contribute something to the alcohol served at the party by showing up with a bottle of wine or six-pack of beer...but I've never felt like arriving with gift-in hand was expected.

Her family is buying her her dining room set, so I'm not sure who she is expecting these gift cards from. I don't think she would be entitled enough to get-upset that I don't get her a gift card. but expecting hundreds of dollars in gift cards for a housewarming party just seemed off to me.

Xstatic3333 · April 2014

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites.

I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

Erikan73 · April 2014

Wow, what a reason to have a party. I thought a house warming party was so you could have one party to invite everyone over to show off your new home, not for gifts. Go with the plant idea, hopefully others will do the same & give actual gifts instead of money or gift cards.

hoffse · April 2014

Xstatic3333 said:

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites. I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

I'm also an only child. My parents really had no problem telling me "no." Life lessons and all that.

I really like the idea of the plant. If she's entitled enough to expect gift cards, she's going to be sorely disappointed regardless of what you give her. A bright pop of color might make her snap out of it.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites. I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

I'm also an only child. My parents really had no problem telling me "no." Life lessons and all that.

I really like the idea of the plant. If she's entitled enough to expect gift cards, she's going to be sorely disappointed regardless of what you give her. A bright pop of color might make her snap out of it.

I hope you both understand that I wasn't meaning to be offensive with the only child comment, she is definitely the exception among the only children I'm friends with (and she does not always act this entitled) however when she does it always seems tied to the fact that she has always had the undivided attention of her mother and rarely gets told no....sorry if my joke was not taken as such

brij2006 · April 2014

I say the plant is a very nice and appropriate housewarming gift.

Usually I bring a bottle of wine or a Tastefully Simple product to a housewarming party. Never a gift card or cash, but gifts aren't usual for a housewarming party around here.

For our housewarming party everyone brought a dish to pass and we provided the main course. One friend bought us a martini shaker and bottle of booze. We finished the bottle that night and still use the shaker.

hoffse · April 2014

Gdaisy09 said:

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites. I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

I'm also an only child. My parents really had no problem telling me "no." Life lessons and all that.

I really like the idea of the plant. If she's entitled enough to expect gift cards, she's going to be sorely disappointed regardless of what you give her. A bright pop of color might make her snap out of it.

I hope you both understand that I wasn't meaning to be offensive with the only child comment, she is definitely the exception among the only children I'm friends with (and she does not always act this entitled) however when she does it always seems tied to the fact that she has always had the undivided attention of her mother and rarely gets told no....sorry if my joke was not taken as such

No! Not offended by you - I just hate it when other only children make comments like that. Not all of use were spoiled by our parents!

EastCoastBride · April 2014

OMG. I expect she'll end up being sorely disappointed. We had a housewarming a few years ago. Because we wanted an excuse to have a party and show off our house. That's it.

A couple people brought gifts, but most of the gifts were smaller and more along the lines of general "hostess" gifts. Nothing fancy and sure as heck NO gift cards.

her whole attitude really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Xstatic3333 · April 2014

hoffse said:

Gdaisy09 said:

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites.

I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

I'm also an only child. My parents really had no problem telling me "no." Life lessons and all that.

I really like the idea of the plant. If she's entitled enough to expect gift cards, she's going to be sorely disappointed regardless of what you give her. A bright pop of color might make her snap out of it.

I hope you both understand that I wasn't meaning to be offensive with the only child comment, she is definitely the exception among the only children I'm friends with (and she does not always act this entitled) however when she does it always seems tied to the fact that she has always had the undivided attention of her mother and rarely gets told no....sorry if my joke was not taken as such

No! Not offended by you - I just hate it when other only children make comments like that. Not all of
use were spoiled by our parents!

Oh no, am I the one who offended? I'm sorry. I really just meant to riff of Gdaisy's joke. I didn't mean to imply that most only children were spoiled! I think most aren't-or they are at the same rate as any other kids.

hoffse · April 2014

Xstatic3333 said:

Gdaisy09 said:

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

Ugh, this only child thinks your friend is being super-presumptuous! I hope this gift card wish was a confession to you, not something she publicized on the invites. I think your plant idea is great! How thoughtful. We usually go booze, and I think both are typically welcomed.

I'm also an only child. My parents really had no problem telling me "no." Life lessons and all that.

I really like the idea of the plant. If she's entitled enough to expect gift cards, she's going to be sorely disappointed regardless of what you give her. A bright pop of color might make her snap out of it.

I hope you both understand that I wasn't meaning to be offensive with the only child comment, she is definitely the exception among the only children I'm friends with (and she does not always act this entitled) however when she does it always seems tied to the fact that she has always had the undivided attention of her mother and rarely gets told no....sorry if my joke was not taken as such

No! Not offended by you - I just hate it when other only children make comments like that. Not all of use were spoiled by our parents!
Oh no, am I the one who offended? I'm sorry. I really just meant to riff of Gdaisy's joke. I didn't mean to imply that most only children were spoiled! I think most aren't-or they are at the same rate as any other kids.

Haha no- it's the girl who's the subject of this thread. She apparently talks about only child syndrome (or whatever she calls it). It makes me wrinkle my nose.

emily1004 · April 2014

Gdaisy09 said:

this is what she told me this past weekend "we opened a home depot credit card with 0% interest for 6 months to buy whatever we need for the house, we're expecting to get tons of gift cards at our housewarming, we'll use them to pay off the credit card"

I have no idea if gift cards can be used that way, she seemed pretty convinced that they could.

she's now conducting a survey on facebook to find the most ammenable date for her party.

I love my houseplants, most have been gifts, one from our realtor, most the others from my mom. The one I'm thinking about splitting is an off-shoot of a kaffer lily that belonged to my grandmother, it's got 6-7 little baby plants in the pot and is pretty pot-bound so I need to re-pot it anyways. it blooms with really pretty orange flowers about twice a year.

She can't pay a credit card off with a gift card.

vlagrl29 · April 2014

I'm side eying her big time. She seems really selfish. I think a plant or alcohol would be sufficient enough. I've never heard of anyone expecting anything from house warming parties. She shouldn't expect people to fund her house contents. I'm an only child as well

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

So glad I wasn't missing something

H and I never threw a house warming party because we bought the house 5 months before our wedding and were just overwhelmed with other things.

Since we're discussing side-eyeing friends...now that I've been thinking about this I have another one I just don't know what to do with. She was one of my bridesmaids, H and I never even got a card from her and her FI (totally understandable if a gift is just out of the financial picture, and maybe she just forgot the card). But, I was in her wedding at the beginning of June last year, which was not an inexpensive wedding to be in (i probably spend $1000 by the time it was over) H and I gave them a nice gift, and now 10 months later we have not received a thank you note? I really know how to pick friends.

hoffse · April 2014

Gdaisy09 said:

So glad I wasn't missing something H and I never threw a house warming party because we bought the house 5 months before our wedding and were just overwhelmed with other things.

Since we're discussing side-eyeing friends...now that I've been thinking about this I have another one I just don't know what to do with. She was one of my bridesmaids, H and I never even got a card from her and her FI (totally understandable if a gift is just out of the financial picture, and maybe she just forgot the card). But, I was in her wedding at the beginning of June last year, which was not an inexpensive wedding to be in (i probably spend $1000 by the time it was over) H and I gave them a nice gift, and now 10 months later we have not received a thank you note? I really know how to pick friends.

Ok thank you notes were totally my soap-box issue on TK. Seriously. It costs 4 minutes and a stamp to mail the damn thing. It shouldn't be so hard.

I write thank yous for everything: gifts, parties, interviews, etc. It's a really small thing to make other people know you are grateful.

Xstatic3333 · April 2014

Gdaisy09 said:
So glad I wasn't missing something H and I never threw a house warming party because we bought the house 5 months before our wedding and were just overwhelmed with other things.

Since we're discussing side-eyeing friends...now that I've been thinking about this I have another one I just don't know what to do with. She was one of my bridesmaids, H and I never even got a card from her and her FI (totally understandable if a gift is just out of the financial picture, and maybe she just forgot the card). But, I was in her wedding at the beginning of June last year, which was not an inexpensive wedding to be in (i probably spend $1000 by the time it was over) H and I gave them a nice gift, and now 10 months later we have not received a thank you note? I really know how to pick friends.

Ugh, TY notes. I have actually only gotten 1 TY note from a wedding in my life, and ironically it was from a wedding where we didn't give a gift (it was a friend of H's and they made a mutual no gift pact). I sent mine within the month. I think they're a great tradition and it's sad they're vanishing.

@hoffse sorry to misunderstand! I didn't realize the friend was making only child excuses about herself. So annoying! It gives us all a bad name. Though I confess H (also an only) and I do sometimes joke about it when nobody wants to do the dishes

blondie42107 · April 2014

I always take a gift of some sort to a house warming party. Once I did a little basket of my favorite kitchen items - a scrubby, basil sented dish soap, etc.

I've always followed the "gifts are nice but not mandatory" rule. Dh and I decided to get married, have children and buy a house. If people gave a gift to help us celebrate that life event - great. But we never demanded gifts or expected them.

BlueBirdMB · April 2014

I mean I would never show up to anyone's house empty handed, but a housewarming party is just like any other house party- hostess-type gift. I usually bring win, but a plant would be lovely.

We're having a housewarming party in about 5 weeks. I hope people don't bring me gifts- I don't want to write too many thank you notes!

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

hoffse said:

Gdaisy09 said:

So glad I wasn't missing something H and I never threw a house warming party because we bought the house 5 months before our wedding and were just overwhelmed with other things.

Since we're discussing side-eyeing friends...now that I've been thinking about this I have another one I just don't know what to do with. She was one of my bridesmaids, H and I never even got a card from her and her FI (totally understandable if a gift is just out of the financial picture, and maybe she just forgot the card). But, I was in her wedding at the beginning of June last year, which was not an inexpensive wedding to be in (i probably spend $1000 by the time it was over) H and I gave them a nice gift, and now 10 months later we have not received a thank you note? I really know how to pick friends.

Ok thank you notes were totally my soap-box issue on TK. Seriously. It costs 4 minutes and a stamp to mail the damn thing. It shouldn't be so hard.

I write thank yous for everything: gifts, parties, interviews, etc. It's a really small thing to make other people know you are grateful.

haha, such a simple gesture, and it's got me so pissed that our gift went unrecognized, I know others in the bridal party got TYs written by her H because they told him how funny they were on FB. I have to be honest that H volunteered to do TYs for his guests at our wedding, I haven't checked back with him that he finished them since 3 months after our wedding. shame on me.

Erikan73 · April 2014

I totally forgot about that, both Lowes & Home Depot have the rule that you can't use gift cards to make payments on your credit cards. She's going to be in for a rude awaking when she goes to pay her large bill

jessica490 · April 2014

We've had 1 house warming party and it was only for close family just to show off the house...but our family is very generous, so some gave us money, alcohol, gift cards to Home Depot, and small gifts like a wine bottle opener, picture frames, throw blanket, and a lemonade serving set. We weren't expecting anything at all though.

If we go to house warming parties, we usually get the couple a Home Deport gc, wine/alcohol, maybe some picture frames or a neutral throw blanket as well.

CuriousKiddosMama · April 2014

not off base at all. A housewarming party =cool. A housewarming party to get gifts is very not cool. Usually we bring a bottle of wine if the couple/friend drinks. If not then a fun piece of cookware with the receipt just in case.

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