My husband is 11 years older than I am, so the age difference certainly doesn't bother me.
I
think 17 does seem a bit young for marriage, but I know many couples who did
marry when one of them was that young (and some have a several year age
difference), and decades later they are still in healthy, and happy
relationships. So, obviously what wouldn't work for some, might work for others.
Quite frankly, if I could go back in time, I
would tell my younger self to seek out my husband, and marry him
immediately. More happy years for us, without all the wasted time of
dating losers.
I think something that's much more important than your age, is just
finding the right person for you. When we're younger, you don't often
have the experience to know who would or wouldn't be a good match for us, which is why we often look back at our younger years, and wonder
why we dated such losers. But who knows....maybe she struck gold early
on, and no amount of dating or waiting would have changed her mind.
If the parents are okay with it, it may be
because they know the couple and the whole situation a lot better than
we do. If it's not illegal, then there isn't any reason for them to be
judged. I'm sure at one time or another, we all do something that makes us happy, but that someone else would call odd. It doesn't mean we give a rat's behind about their self righteous judgement, so why should anyone care about ours? I
wish them all the best!
Quite frankly, if I could go back in time, I
would tell my younger self to seek out my husband, and marry him
immediately. More happy years for us, without all the wasted time of
dating losers.
I don't understand this. I understand going back and dating your guy instead of the losers, but why marry him immediately? Why do people think there's this "marry or nothing" ultimatum? I do not think anyone should get married at 17. Sure, you find the right guy and that's great, but why not wait a few years before getting married? Is there some law that I don't know about that says "A man and woman must split up if they date more than X years without getting married?"
I think people should take a little time and learn more about themselves as adults. No one encourages divorcees to get married as soon as they're legally eligible to, so why do people encourage teenagers to get married as soon as they're legally eligible? Apparently the concept of self-awareness does not apply to young brides. I wonder why that is.
@OtterJ No, I actually don't understand why people are in such a hurry to get married. Unless there are religious, insurance, child custody, or immigration issues at play, there's technically no difference between being married and simply being committed to your partner on your own terms.
Having lived in a place where most people buy homes and have children together years before they actually get married has made me look at the whole concept in a very different way. I like the idea of focusing on the relationship more than the label.
ETA - It's not about judging young brides; I worry about them. I was one once.
@GilliC You don't need to be able to understand the motivations for other people to get married. Not only do you not need to be able to understand them....but you don't even need to KNOW them because unless they want to share it, it's none of our business.
We have very different views of what is/isn't appropriate before marriage, and that's fine.
The original poster was asking if the 17/30 ages were appropriate for marriage, but the problem with this whole thread from the start is that the couple she's mentioning is already married. This isn't a thread trying to encourage youngsters to get hitched, or encourage them to wait until they're old and wrinkly. From the start, this thread was about looking at someone's marriage, and asking for people to judge it when we have no clue about the two people, other than their age. You may think that you're not judging young brides, but your gif and statements say otherwise. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good experience as a young bride, but what doesn't work for some, might work for others.
If you're not going to support someone in their marriage when they're ALREADY HAPPILY MARRIED, then you need to mind your own business.
@GilliC You don't need to be able to understand the motivations for other people to get married. Not only do you not need to be able to understand them....but you don't even need to KNOW them because unless they want to share it, it's none of our business.
We have very different views of what is/isn't appropriate before marriage, and that's fine.
The original poster was asking if the 17/30 ages were appropriate for marriage, but the problem with this whole thread from the start is that the couple she's mentioning is already married. This isn't a thread trying to encourage youngsters to get hitched, or encourage them to wait until they're old and wrinkly. From the start, this thread was about looking at someone's marriage, and asking for people to judge it when we have no clue about the two people, other than their age. You may think that you're not judging young brides, but your gif and statements say otherwise. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good experience as a young bride, but what doesn't work for some, might work for others.
If you're not going to support someone in their marriage when they're ALREADY HAPPILY MARRIED, then you need to mind your own business.
Oh, I definitely judge poor arguments! I have no idea if that comment was made by a young bride or not. That's irrelevant.
Re: 17 and 30
I think 17 does seem a bit young for marriage, but I know many couples who did marry when one of them was that young (and some have a several year age difference), and decades later they are still in healthy, and happy relationships. So, obviously what wouldn't work for some, might work for others.
Quite frankly, if I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self to seek out my husband, and marry him immediately. More happy years for us, without all the wasted time of dating losers.
I think something that's much more important than your age, is just finding the right person for you. When we're younger, you don't often have the experience to know who would or wouldn't be a good match for us, which is why we often look back at our younger years, and wonder why we dated such losers. But who knows....maybe she struck gold early on, and no amount of dating or waiting would have changed her mind.
If the parents are okay with it, it may be because they know the couple and the whole situation a lot better than we do. If it's not illegal, then there isn't any reason for them to be judged. I'm sure at one time or another, we all do something that makes us happy, but that someone else would call odd. It doesn't mean we give a rat's behind about their self righteous judgement, so why should anyone care about ours? I wish them all the best!
I think people should take a little time and learn more about themselves as adults. No one encourages divorcees to get married as soon as they're legally eligible to, so why do people encourage teenagers to get married as soon as they're legally eligible? Apparently the concept of self-awareness does not apply to young brides. I wonder why that is.
At this point, you're just picking stupid fights to defend your self righteous excuse to judge others.
Having lived in a place where most people buy homes and have children together years before they actually get married has made me look at the whole concept in a very different way. I like the idea of focusing on the relationship more than the label.
ETA - It's not about judging young brides; I worry about them. I was one once.
We have very different views of what is/isn't appropriate before marriage, and that's fine.
The original poster was asking if the 17/30 ages were appropriate for marriage, but the problem with this whole thread from the start is that the couple she's mentioning is already married. This isn't a thread trying to encourage youngsters to get hitched, or encourage them to wait until they're old and wrinkly. From the start, this thread was about looking at someone's marriage, and asking for people to judge it when we have no clue about the two people, other than their age. You may think that you're not judging young brides, but your gif and statements say otherwise. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good experience as a young bride, but what doesn't work for some, might work for others.
If you're not going to support someone in their marriage when they're ALREADY HAPPILY MARRIED, then you need to mind your own business.