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Update *do not read if you can't take the sad* **long** UPDATED in original post. *final update 8/9*

islandmonkey8islandmonkey8 member
5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
edited August 2014 in GP Moms
Our NT scan was Monday. We lost Baby B. They aren't sure quite when, but sometime between 9-11 weeks. The measurement on Baby A is 6.9. Double the risk limit. We then sat down with the genetic counselor. After talking with her, we opted to do a CVS that day. We went and got lunch and then had the CVS. We actually had the head of Maternal Fetal Medicine and our MFM in the room because of the situation and placement of the placenta. The head of MFM did a lot of scans, both vaginally and abdominally. They took 94 pictures of Baby A. The baby wasn't very cooperative, so even with all of those pictures, they didn't get everything they hoped. So now we wait. It will be up to four weeks for full results, with some results trickling in possibly earlier. The doctors are not hopeful. The BEST case scenario is that Baby A has a major heart defect. The odds are not good. I could lose baby at any time. The odds of baby making it to term are less than 15%, the odds of there being nothing wrong with Baby A are less than 1%. We left the hospital 7 hours after getting there on Monday.

Even though I know this is not my fault. Even though there is nothing I could have done to prevent this. I blame myself. I know it is not my fault, but I do. I feel like I should have protected my babies better. I feel like I should have known something was going wrong. DH and I are a wreck. We are mourning the loss of Baby B. We are terrified of what may be wrong and what may happen with Baby A. We didn't go to work Monday or Tuesday. We both are back to work since yesterday if only for the distraction. I have my 12 week OB appointment this afternoon. I'm terrified. I want to remain hopeful, but I can't seem to bring myself to. I know we most likely won't get any answers today, but I'm also afraid that at any moment we could lose Baby A. Baby A had a wonderful heart rate of 184 and was punching and kicking up a storm on Monday. But we could still lose baby at any moment. 

I think I'm just rambling at this point. If you made it through all of this, thank you.

UPDATE

We got the call we were afraid of. Baby A has trisomy 13. I don't really have anything else to add other then to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

8/9 UPDATE

We love our babies with all that we are. The diagnosis for Baby A is crushing. We don't want our baby only to have a short life of suffering, if they even have a chance at life at all. 

I am having a D&E on Tuesday. Thank you all for your kind words, they really mean the world to us.
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TTC 24 months, IUI #3 BFP 6/4/14 Beta 6/5 58, 6/9 508, 6/11 1227 TWINS! EDD 2/15/15
With heavy hearts, we said goodbye to our precious angels on 8/12 at 13 weeks 2 days.
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IVF #1 Lup/Brav/Meno, ER 11/28 10R/10F, ET "Rudolph" 4AA embryo 12/3, 7 frosties.
BFP! Betas: 12/12 225, 12/15 706, 12/17 1512. EDD 8.21.15
12/29 hb 120. 1/5 perfect, GRAD DAY! 1/15 perfect at OB. NT 2/6 PERFECT, HB 158!

Baby Girl born 8.9.15 at 38.2 due to IUGR 4lb7.8oz 17" 
Our princess is being watched over by her older siblings every day <3
Anniversary 

«13

Re: Update *do not read if you can&#039;t take the sad* **long** UPDATED in original post. *final update 8/9*

  • Oh no, Island. My heart is breaking for you. Sending you all the hugs and T&Ps I can muster. 
    Anniversary
    Married: 10/13/2013
    TTC #1: Mirena removed 5/26/2015; DH - normal SA, me - diagnosed with PCOS 8/4/2016 - on Metformin;
    BFP - 10/29/2016!!!, EDD - 7/8/2017
  • Oh, islandmonkey, my heart is breaking for you and DH. I will remain hopeful for Baby A. Xoxoxo

    If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm available on FB all day.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • I am so sorry islandmonkey.  My thoughts are with you and H and baby A. 
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    TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm 
    February 2013: IUI #1 = BFN 
    October 2013: We made the decision to stop TTC and live without children.

    Nestie Besties with Xan921 
  • I'm so sorry, island. I wish I could say more to ease your grief, but I hope baby A is a fighter, and hope you get good news.

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    “You can have your wishes, your plans, but at the end of the day, it's out of your control"
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  • So many prayers for you today. 

    This sucks.  :(
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    * After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
    DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
    * TTC #2  March 2015 *

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  • Oh Island, I am sending all of my prayers your way. My heart goes out to you, DH, and Baby A.

    imageMags's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
     
    TTC 19 months ~Started RE in March 2014~
    DH was not ready for IUI so we waited
    ~Started acupuncture in  May 2014~

    ~~
    BFP 7/6/14~~~EDD 3/14/15~~It's a girl!!~~
  • I am so sorry, Island. My heart is breaking for you. I am sending so many positive vibes your way that Baby A's testing is all a false alarm and going to be okay. Big hugs to you, love.


    TTC since 3/2012 
    DH - 36; nml swimmers; Me - 36; almost no AMH (last 0.081), low AFC, nml FSH/LH
    Clomid + IUI #1 (6/2013) - BFN; #2 (7/2013) - BFFN
    IVF 1.0 5R/5F/2T (ET 6/11/2014) - no frosties, but BFP 8dp5dt (EDD 3/1/2015) 
    Lost our sweet baby boy, Lincoln Alexander 10/3/2014 (19w)
    IVF 2.0 - ER 3/25/2015 - 3R ZERO mature.
    Ovaries are done...
    DE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
  • I am praying so hard for you today.  This just isn't fair and I am so sorry you are having to go through this.
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    ~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
    ~Knottie/Nestie Besties with *ecinereb* - Congratulations!~
    TTC since June 2011 dx: PCOS
    Clomid+IUI: Cancelled b/c didn't respond (June 2012)
    Femara+Trigger+IUI #1: BFN :-( (July 2013)
    Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP!  Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64  Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
    Baby N born 5/9/14
  • so many thoughts and prayers to you. I can't imagine what you are going through. Keep fighting, baby a!
  • This just sucks! I'm so sorry.
    "I said what I meant and I meant what I said, an elephant's faithful 100%" Dr. Seuss, Horton Hatches The Egg. My Ovulation Chart Ttc buddies with LexiMS!
  • I'm so sorry to hear this. Please take care of yourselves. It isn't your fault, it isn't anybody's fault. That doesn't mean it doesn't suck more than anything else.
    Thanks to our wonderful RE our family is complete!
    DS #1 10.12.12
    DS #2 10.24.14

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  • Oh, I am so sorry. You're in my prayers.
    Married 2011.
    Baby Boy 2015.
  • I am so sorry! I will definitely be praying for baby A to fight through everything and for you and your H. Please take time for yourself and realize this is not your fault.
  • I'm so sorry...my T&P are with you and your H that Baby A is strong and a little fighter.  And take the time you need to mourn baby B...
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    First date July 31, 1999    Married January 28, 2009 
    TTC#1 July 2010 PCOS dx April 2011 
    DS born: February 21, 2012

    TTC#2 June 2013 MMC Sept 2013 (partial molar), CP 02/2014 DS2 born: December 5, 2014
  • I'm so sorry. Prayers for you as you grieve for Baby B and that Baby A keeps fighting.
    Congrats to my TTC buddy Madeline! Cheering for all the strong 3T ladies! 

    TTC since March 2012; DX: PCOS 4/2013 
    BFP 7/6/2013; EDD 3/6/2014 
    Diagnosed with Pre-E: 2/15/201
    Emergency induction: 2/16/2014
    Baby E born: 2/16/2014 at 12:56pm. 5lb 15oz



  • I am so, so sorry.  I hope Baby A pulls through.
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  • I am so so sorry. My heart breaks for you and DH and am sending so many prayers Baby A is a fighter. Please let me know if you need anything.
    **Signature Warning**

    Dx PCOS August 2012
    Clomid x4 = BFN
    Femara+Follistim IUIs x 6 = 3 BFN, 2 C/P, 1 early miscarriage
    IVF June 2014- 43 R, 34 M, 24 F, 12 blasts frozen and severe OHSS
    FET September 12, 2014!
    Beta #1 12dp5dt- 724
    Beta #2 14dp5dt- 1631
    Beta #3 20dp5dt- 12,813
    EDD 5/31/15 until OB tells me otherwise. Grow babies grow!

    "I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck. 
    Wherever you are, whenever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life." ~ Michael Buble

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  • Oh Island. I'm so sorry for your loss and for the limbo you are now dealing with. So many hugs, thoughts and prayers.
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    B Born 6.27.13
  • I am so so sorry, Island.  I am remaining hopeful for Baby A, and that they are a fighter. <3
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    Anniversary
    08/13: Started TTC  - 07/14: PCOS dx
    BFP 09/18/15 - Baby S 05/27/16
  • I am so sorry. Sending positive thoughts for baby A, you, and your H.

    Anniversary

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  • So sorry. Wishing, praying and hoping for the best.

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  • Oh I am so sorry island.
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    DD born 1.25.15

  • I'm so sorry. Many thoughts and prayers to you, your H and Baby A. Please remember that this is no way your fault. <3 hugs

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you all.





    dx:  Unexplained IF (mild MFI)

     TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN

    IVF #1 (May 2013):  Antagonist Protocol: 
    24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
    IVF #2 (August 2013):  Lupron Stop Protocol: 
    28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
    EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
    FET #1 (April 2014):  transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP

    C.J. born 01/09/15

    imageimage
  • Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.
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  • So many hugs, thoughts, and prayers your way. I'm so sorry. <3
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  • Oh, hun. I'm so sorry. Sending warm thoughts and love your way.
    TTC #1 since Feb. '12. dx: "unexplained" IF
    After 2 shitty IVF cycles and 1 loss at 6+2 (EDD 11/7/14), DH and I are pursuing DIA.
    11/17/2014 - ACTIVE AND WAITING!
    image
    Pregnancy was never the end goal; being a mom was.
    I've been holding out on GP: I got drunk once and started a blog: Here it is (11/7 update)
    3T<3

  • Sorry it wasn't better news. Hugs.

    .image

     

  • I'm so sorry <3





    dx:  Unexplained IF (mild MFI)

     TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN

    IVF #1 (May 2013):  Antagonist Protocol: 
    24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
    IVF #2 (August 2013):  Lupron Stop Protocol: 
    28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
    EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
    FET #1 (April 2014):  transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP

    C.J. born 01/09/15

    imageimage
  • My heart is broken for you guys. I'm barely containing the tears I am so very sad for you going through all of this. It's not fair. Not at all. 

    Try not to beat yourself up. I know the feeling of wanting to blame yourself even when you know deep down you couldn't have done anything differently or helped in any way. It's an awful feeling and I am here for you if you want to let it all out at any time. 

    My thoughts are with you guys. Please take care of yourselves tonight.
    imageimage
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    TTC since July 2012
    BFP #1: 11/9/13; spontaneous m/c at 6w2d, 11/25/13
    BFP #2: 12/31/13. B/w 12/31: betas >1000, progesterone 13.6; B/w 1/2: betas 3065, progesterone 10.2
    B/w 1/8: betas 17,345, progesterone 25.6
    Progesterone suppositories started 1/2. Please stick, baby!!
    Fiona Elise born 9/9/14 - welcome beautiful girl!
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