Relationships
SunnyGirl715
newb
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Need some thoughts and opinions on this situation.
Hey nesties!
This is my first post - so I hope that I'm posting this in the right area. I have been married to my hubs for about 2 years now. He's in the military, so we move quite often. We've been moving around together for the last 8 years and I always have a harder time than him with each of the moves. We have no kids and don't plan on having kids for a few years. recently we moved to a new area in the upper midwest. I was excited to come here bc it's a little more normal than the other places that we've ever lived in. This is our first tour where we're living in Government housing and we live in a neighborhood where we're surrounded by other military families of the same branch. I full on knew when we moved in here that some military wives lead their lives concentrating on drama and issues that I believe aren't conducive to everyday life. I'm not saying that every wife is like this, but I've definitely witnessed/heard some horror stories. We've been in this area since July and I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of the wives that live here. On first instinct I knew who to stay away from and who I thought would be a seemingly good person. I believed it was a must that I got a job right away - which i did. It's only part time and I'm currently searching for a second job to take up more of my time. Over the last few months I had become friends with a military wife neighbor of mine. Our friendship grew pretty quickly- almost too quickly for me- but I let it happen anyhow. Things had been going pretty well, until she started making small statements about our expenses and our relationship (my husband and I's). Which I quickly let her know that I wasn't comfortable talking about. I started keeping our conversations pretty simple and Ive been trying not to delve into much detail. Recently we had a small issue where I took care of some things for her and she didn't keep up with her end of the bargain. I was really upset and she made up excuses for herself once I confronted her about it. Since then things have been okay until this week when I ended up at a bar with my husband, a few of his co-workers, and one other military wife who lives in our neighborhood. After a few drinks she started gossiping and let me know that she had heard about my little situation/tiff that I had, had with my next door neighbor. She also gossiped about some not so nice things about her relationship that I wish that I had never heard. During this conversation, or any conversation that has this kind of context, I try to stay neutral. If I feel the need to gossip, I gossip to my husband, who I know I can trust not to further the gossiping chain. Anyhow, hearing all of this information made me feel like an idiot for thinking I could trust her. I don't think I want to confront her about what happened bc it's like I'll be dragged into the chain of people who have all been talking about each other. She comes to my house about 2-3 times a day and knocks on my door to either ask about something, see what I'm doing, or ask for something she's missing from her meal. What should I do? Should I confront her and possibly cause more drama? Should I not answer my door? My husband thinks I should just continue on like nothing happened, and just keep all information to a minimum. My other issue is, where do I go to find friends outside of the military in a place that I don't know that well? I feel like every time we move I end up not finding friends who do me right by my heart. I have one girl friend who I can trust with any and all of my issues or problems, but she lives in a different state. I feel like it's so hard to find someone who's true at heart these days. Where do I go from here? I feel like my brain isn't equipped for this kind of nonsense and I don't know how to deal. hahaha.
If you read ALL of this - Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to give me your thoughts and opinions.
This is my first post - so I hope that I'm posting this in the right area. I have been married to my hubs for about 2 years now. He's in the military, so we move quite often. We've been moving around together for the last 8 years and I always have a harder time than him with each of the moves. We have no kids and don't plan on having kids for a few years. recently we moved to a new area in the upper midwest. I was excited to come here bc it's a little more normal than the other places that we've ever lived in. This is our first tour where we're living in Government housing and we live in a neighborhood where we're surrounded by other military families of the same branch. I full on knew when we moved in here that some military wives lead their lives concentrating on drama and issues that I believe aren't conducive to everyday life. I'm not saying that every wife is like this, but I've definitely witnessed/heard some horror stories. We've been in this area since July and I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of the wives that live here. On first instinct I knew who to stay away from and who I thought would be a seemingly good person. I believed it was a must that I got a job right away - which i did. It's only part time and I'm currently searching for a second job to take up more of my time. Over the last few months I had become friends with a military wife neighbor of mine. Our friendship grew pretty quickly- almost too quickly for me- but I let it happen anyhow. Things had been going pretty well, until she started making small statements about our expenses and our relationship (my husband and I's). Which I quickly let her know that I wasn't comfortable talking about. I started keeping our conversations pretty simple and Ive been trying not to delve into much detail. Recently we had a small issue where I took care of some things for her and she didn't keep up with her end of the bargain. I was really upset and she made up excuses for herself once I confronted her about it. Since then things have been okay until this week when I ended up at a bar with my husband, a few of his co-workers, and one other military wife who lives in our neighborhood. After a few drinks she started gossiping and let me know that she had heard about my little situation/tiff that I had, had with my next door neighbor. She also gossiped about some not so nice things about her relationship that I wish that I had never heard. During this conversation, or any conversation that has this kind of context, I try to stay neutral. If I feel the need to gossip, I gossip to my husband, who I know I can trust not to further the gossiping chain. Anyhow, hearing all of this information made me feel like an idiot for thinking I could trust her. I don't think I want to confront her about what happened bc it's like I'll be dragged into the chain of people who have all been talking about each other. She comes to my house about 2-3 times a day and knocks on my door to either ask about something, see what I'm doing, or ask for something she's missing from her meal. What should I do? Should I confront her and possibly cause more drama? Should I not answer my door? My husband thinks I should just continue on like nothing happened, and just keep all information to a minimum. My other issue is, where do I go to find friends outside of the military in a place that I don't know that well? I feel like every time we move I end up not finding friends who do me right by my heart. I have one girl friend who I can trust with any and all of my issues or problems, but she lives in a different state. I feel like it's so hard to find someone who's true at heart these days. Where do I go from here? I feel like my brain isn't equipped for this kind of nonsense and I don't know how to deal. hahaha.
If you read ALL of this - Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to give me your thoughts and opinions.
Re: Need some thoughts and opinions on this situation.
Find a way to end this friendship. She's not much of a friend at all.
The best way to find a good friend is to find one via a good and common cause -- try volunteering or joining a special interests group.