Relationships
MrsB103
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Friend is getting married on my anniversary and asked me to be a bridesmaid
My friend set her wedding date on the same day as my anniversary. My husband was NOT happy about it and made a big fuss. I let it simmer down because I personally don't think it's a big deal. Now she's asked me to be a bridesmaid, which I would love to do, but my husband is super upset. He feels like she is disrespecting him by choose that date and then trying to separate us by being a bridesmaid. He's stated that he doesn't care what I do, but he's not going to the wedding. I don't even know how to begin to address this. I don't think it's a big deal, we don't even do anything big on our anniversary, just dinner or drinks. Thoughts?
Re: Friend is getting married on my anniversary and asked me to be a bridesmaid
TTC since September 2012
Your H is being an infant about all of this. Do as you wish and let him sulk in his baby carriage at home.
THis might be where I start, actually. "So, DH, what is the anniversary of ..." and then start listing family and friends.
I'd expect that his answer will probably be a lot of "Um.... I don't know".
Just to point out that it's RIDICULOUS that he thinks they are doing this on purpose and that this is at ALLLLLLLLLL about him.
This is why it's so self centered. That he really thinks HIS wedding date is something people really remember or purposely pick to piss him off.
If I were in your shoes I would probably just decline being a BM and just tell friend "You're wedding will be such a wonderful and romantic moment. It makes me remember when my husband and I got married and the emotions we felt on that special day. And because of that, since your wedding day falls on our anniversary, it would be hard for me to be apart from my husband on that day. I hope you understand."
The reason I say that, for me it wouldn't be worth the arguement each time you need to do something for the wedding like dress shopping, etc.
While I disagree with all of this, I REALLY disagree w/ what you said she should say. That's totally throwing a sappy guilt trip out at her friend. If she were to decline, she needs to make it a simple "As that's our wedding anniversary, I won't be able to be in/at your wedding. Thanks for asking me, though. It means a lot.".
He's acting like a whiny baby! Never understood people who get hung up on dates. Just go. It's for your friend. He should either come with you or stfu!