Get my husband on board with the need for "girl time".

Re: Get my husband on board with the need for "girl time".

• bmo88

  

  member

  February 2015

  How about you suggest he spend time with his friends when you want to spend time with your friends?

  

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• GilliC

  

  member

  February 2015

  Ajread3 said:

  My husband is amazing and I love him to pieces, but I am getting the feeling he has a hard time letting me have "girl time", which in my book is almost as much needed as "me time". It almost seems like he takes it personal like I don't want him to come along, he seems like his feelings are hurt if he's not included or if I make plans without him....and this RARELY happens. I am not one who goes out or really does much socially outside of "us".... how do I bring this up? How do I help him see that I am HAPPY that the majority of my time  is spent with each other, but making time for my friends is important to me also??

  You "get the feeling" that he has a hard time with it, and "it seems like" he takes it personally and his feelings are hurt. What does he actually say? Why do you have this impression? Have you asked him about it?

  
  

  It sounds like you might have some communication problems. Have you had a discussion about this? What did you learn from it?

  
  

  From the small bit of information you've given us, it sounds like you're feeling guilty, rather than him feeling bad. Could that be the case? And if so, why do you feel guilty about spending time away from him?

  
  

  I think you should just have an open and honest conversation about it. Explain to him why you want to spend more time with your friends, and ask if he has any concerns.

  

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• Erikan73

  

  member

  February 2015

  My husband jokingly gives me the sad face and says "I see you just want free time away from me" and I do know he's joking. He has his guy time, it's just for him his guy time is on our couch going on line to play video games with his friends. Yes, he's 46 years old and he plays video games. But it's a great stress reliever for him, he talks to his friends while he's doing it and heck it's cheaper then him going out...lol. So I've recently started making a point to have some time for me and to see my girlfriends. It's important to maintain the lifetime friendships that I had before he was a part of my life. I just make sure that it's not too often (meaning not several times a week).

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• puppylove2014

  

  member

  February 2015

  Erikan73 said:

  My husband jokingly gives me the sad face and says "I see you just want free time away from me" and I do know he's joking. He has his guy time, it's just for him his guy time is on our couch going on line to play video games with his friends. Yes, he's 46 years old and he plays video games. But it's a great stress reliever for him, he talks to his friends while he's doing it and heck it's cheaper then him going out...lol. So I've recently started making a point to have some time for me and to see my girlfriends. It's important to maintain the lifetime friendships that I had before he was a part of my life. I just make sure that it's not too often (meaning not several times a week).

  If you know he is joking, what is the question? 

  
  

  If he's not arguing with you, telling you you can't go out, or hindering your friendships... I fail to see the problem here.

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• nurse714

  

  member

  February 2015

  puppylove2014 said:

  Erikan73 said:

  My husband jokingly gives me the sad face and says "I see you just want free time away from me" and I do know he's joking. He has his guy time, it's just for him his guy time is on our couch going on line to play video games with his friends. Yes, he's 46 years old and he plays video games. But it's a great stress reliever for him, he talks to his friends while he's doing it and heck it's cheaper then him going out...lol. So I've recently started making a point to have some time for me and to see my girlfriends. It's important to maintain the lifetime friendships that I had before he was a part of my life. I just make sure that it's not too often (meaning not several times a week).

  If you know he is joking, what is the question? 

  
  

  If he's not arguing with you, telling you you can't go out, or hindering your friendships... I fail to see the problem here.

  She is not the OP.

  
  TTC since September 2012

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• nurse714

  

  member

  February 2015

  Ajread3 said:

  My husband is amazing and I love him to pieces, but I am getting the feeling he has a hard time letting me have "girl time", which in my book is almost as much needed as "me time". It almost seems like he takes it personal like I don't want him to come along, he seems like his feelings are hurt if he's not included or if I make plans without him....and this RARELY happens. I am not one who goes out or really does much socially outside of "us".... how do I bring this up? How do I help him see that I am HAPPY that the majority of my time  is spent with each other, but making time for my friends is important to me also??

  How do you know he has a problem with you going out? You haven't stated that he says something to you. MH said the same thing to me about how I act when he goes out. I never told MH I didn't want him going out, but he said that I seemed to get upset. We had to talk about it and I let him know that I really wasn't upset at all. Maybe a little sad because I would be alone for the evening, but not mad at him at all. 

  Talk to him.

  
  TTC since September 2012

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• puppylove2014

  

  member

  February 2015

  nurse714 said:

  puppylove2014 said:

  Erikan73 said:

  My husband jokingly gives me the sad face and says "I see you just want free time away from me" and I do know he's joking. He has his guy time, it's just for him his guy time is on our couch going on line to play video games with his friends. Yes, he's 46 years old and he plays video games. But it's a great stress reliever for him, he talks to his friends while he's doing it and heck it's cheaper then him going out...lol. So I've recently started making a point to have some time for me and to see my girlfriends. It's important to maintain the lifetime friendships that I had before he was a part of my life. I just make sure that it's not too often (meaning not several times a week).

  If you know he is joking, what is the question? 

  
  

  If he's not arguing with you, telling you you can't go out, or hindering your friendships... I fail to see the problem here.

  She is not the OP.

  Ah! Well that makes more sense! I missed that.

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• Xstatic3333

  

  member

  February 2015

  My H gets a little bummed sometimes when I tell him about a girls night too, but it's just because he loves my girlfriends and looks forward to group hangouts. When I tell him it's girl time and no other SOs are coming, though, he deals and has a video game night. I wouldn't let it get to you.

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• short+sassy

  

  member

  February 2015

  Erikan73 said:

  My husband jokingly gives me the sad face and says "I see you just want free time away from me" and I do know he's joking. He has his guy time, it's just for him his guy time is on our couch going on line to play video games with his friends. Yes, he's 46 years old and he plays video games. But it's a great stress reliever for him, he talks to his friends while he's doing it and heck it's cheaper then him going out...lol. So I've recently started making a point to have some time for me and to see my girlfriends. It's important to maintain the lifetime friendships that I had before he was a part of my life. I just make sure that it's not too often (meaning not several times a week).

  My DH is older than that and LOVES his Xbox, lol.  I don't think they ever grow out of it .
  

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