Money Matters
bmo88
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Finances & Waiting to Start a Family...a vent
Sorry, just wanting to vent. This is due to a few family members saying we are "too worried" about finances when it comes to starting a family. One specific quote was, "If you are that worried about money, then maybe you shouldn't have children."
The fact is, we want to start a family in the next few years. If we met all of our financial goals tomorrow, we would probably start a family this year. The reality is that we have very good incomes, but we also have debt ($54,000 to be exact) from student loans, a second mortgage and a car loan. We are aggressively paying it off ($1,900 a month) when we could pay the minimums ($750 a month). It's a choice we made because we can pay off all of that debt within 2 1/2 years. This plan still allows us to save 10% of our income in general/emergency savings, 15% towards retirement and enjoy life through a few vacations a year. Otherwise, we budget wisely, cook a lot and limit discretionary spending.
Could we technically afford a child today? Yes. We would just adjust our debt repayment method and make it work. But the fact is, we don't want to just make it work or figure it out!! I recognize that sometimes, people aren't in a place to have strong finances and have to figure things out. But if you have the option to consciously set up your finances and you want to do it, then why not?
I am not worried about spending money on a child. That's not the problem. I would rather eliminate our debt and then use those funds towards a child. We are only 26 (almost 27) and 29 right now, so we have time. By the time we pay our debt off, if things go according to plan, we will be 29 and 31. That's about the time we were originally thinking about starting a family. Having a newborn is stressful. I just cannot imagine caring for a baby and stressing over finances at the same time. I know it's not possible to plan 100% for everything, but there are ways to prepare.
We are comfortable with our plan and approach. But it's so frustrating because our families don't understand it. Not that we have to justify or prove anything, but we both come from families that aren't that financially responsible. For many of them, their mentality is, "you will always have bills or some kind of debt" or "there will never be a perfect time, so stop waiting." I get that, but I believe there is a better time than now. So stop pressuring us!
Sorry, this is just a vent and frustration. It's also sad that so many people I know really believe/think that financial independence or a life without debt is impossible. I wish we had more financial education in this country and a priority to handle finances well. Many of my friends and family are not saving for retirement or don't have emergency savings when they are capable of doing so (they tend to spend most of their income). I am not trying to judge, but it's just unfortunate that many people never learn how to manage their finances and are consequently trapped in a cycle of spending, debt and stress. 
End rant.
Re: Finances & Waiting to Start a Family...a vent
Stand strong with your decission. The only person who has to be on board with your plan is you and your husband. You know what having those bills paid off for you will mean when you have a baby. Like you said, with your age, you have plenty of time still to have kids. Good for you for having goals and for sticking to them.
We are committed to this plan and I understand everyone prioritizes differently. It's not easy sometimes because we'd love to spend it on an awesome vacation or just save it, but it makes the most sense to eliminate debt with it.
If I were you, I'd probably stop even mentioning "financial goals" in response to family planning questions. That is not something your family can relate to. I'd keep it even simpler at, "We prefer to wait a few years. We want to enjoy "just us" for awhile and maybe do some traveling first."
BTW, your current plan sounds great! That will be so freeing to have those big loans paid off in a fairly short amount of time. I can see where having that wrapped up will really pave the way for an even happier, less stressful preparing for a baby.
Sounds like you have a great plan. Good luck!