Newlyweds and finances

hoffse · May 2015

Pretty sure the 2013 version is the 10th anniversary golden edition or whatever.

It looks like the most recent revised edition (3rd edition) is actually from 2009. So that's post-crash, but pre-recovery.

Regardless, there needs to be a lot of updating. Plenty of people bailed in 2008 and still haven't gotten back in the market. Financially speaking, those people were toast.

short+sassy · May 2015

And to show a different perspective on combining money, my H and I keep all of our accounts and money separate. We are on each other's accounts, but it is all separate.

Some reasons we do this. We lived together for 10 years before we got married and always kept things separate. We basically paid half of all our bills from our own accounts. I think eventually things will be combined, but there just hasn't been a reason to.

One other crinkle is my H lost his job about one month after we got married and is still unemployed (almost two years). So, since I make all the money and pay all the bills, there just isn't much reason to combine things anyway. I'm not going to lie, I'm resentful about it. I know I shouldn't be because we're married and a "team", but I am. I don't bring it up and I don't let it affect our marriage, but it bothers me because it's just really unfair.

But, on the bright side, there is an example of muddling through and making things work, even when life hands you lemons.

Mustard76 · May 2015

H and I are both natural savers for the most part. We both make saving for retirement and joint goals a huge priority. Really, though, what has helped us a lot is having a yours, mine, and ours money system. We each get a $300 monthly allowance that is deposited into our own accounts. The balance of our pay goes into a joint account from which joint expenses get paid. We feel as if the allowance gives each of us some autonomy, it's money for which we don't have to answer. If I want to go out for drinks with friends, it comes out of my allowance. If H wants to buy a couple cigars, it comes out of his allowance. This way our joint goals remain joint, while we each get the same amount of fun money for whatever we want. We haven't always done things this way, but since we each had our own system prior to getting married (we split everything 50/50 while engaged) this was a great middle-of-the-road option.

vlagrl29 · May 2015

When we got married back in 2009 DH was and still is self employed and I was working a very boring corporate job. We put everything joint except our separate checking accounts for fun money. Those are gone now because after having a kid back in 2011 there really isn't any fun money. lol. It wasn't worth it to me to keep an extra account with a small balance in it all the time. DH and I think the same when it comes to money, but I have to say I've gotten even more of a "saver" than he has which I didn't think was possible. If you do have separate accounts please put your SO as POD otherwise it goes to the estate which is a PITA. For us everything is easier as joint. The only things we have separate are our retirements. I kinda lean towards the same ideas on TMM as hoffsee. DH and I were never in bad debt when we got married so I never felt the need to follow him. I've heard great things about him, but I think he is best for those that have mounds of debt. I much preferred reading "smart couples finish rich". It helped me realize we need to pay ourselves first before paying all the bills. Now we have an e fund and contribute regularly to retirement which helps me sleep at night. I too think 1 k in an e fund is way too low, but everyone has their own comfort zone.

blondie42107 · May 2015

AprilZ81 said:
Welcome!

I'm also a newlywed (married since January 2014) and it really helped that we had frank discussions about our finances before we got engaged to make sure we had similar priorities and money handling skills.

The biggest thing is to have open and non-judgmental discussions about your individual finances and how you are going to handle your finances as a couple. Do you want to keep individual accounts or merge everything? There is no right or wrong answer as long as you both agree and it works for you guys.

Next, I would recommend creating a budget that works for you and focus on getting used to the budget before you go making a large purchase (new house, large tv, etc.).

We decided to fully merge finances and we created a joint budget that includes different savings accounts for ROTH contributions, Christmas/gifts, vacations, car repairs and general savings along with our normal monthly spending.

We use a smart phone app (Good Budget) to track all of our purchases to make sure we stay on track.

Together we decide what to do with any extra money that comes in (3rd paycheck in a month, tax refund, bonus, etc.). We bought a house a year ago and so far extra money has been going into upgrading/replacing items in the house.

I agree with this.

We use an excel spreadsheet to budget but really it's whatever tool works best for you and your spouse.

Xstatic3333 · May 2015

The hardest part for us was making a truly joint budget. I enjoy budgeting more than H and have a more active, decision-making personality. After I do the budget, I need to make H give more a REAL opinion on it, which can be tough since he is a very "go with the flow" kind of guy. In the beginning he wasn't contributing enough, which led to resentment.

We have separate checking accounts, but still view money as our money and have zero secrets or fear of secrets. It was just easier since we budgeted that way before getting married so it actually made for simpler math. We're in the unusual situationif having very similar debts and incomes, which helps.

We briefly toyed with a DR-style plan (not following DR himself since H would HATE him) and found it very unmotivating for us. It would take us several years to pay off our SLs, but they are reasonable to our income and don't really bother us. H's are also very low interest. We find we make much better progress focusing on savings and retirement. We are behind where we should be in retirement (which I had to talk H into caring about) so that's our main priority.

UncleL1228 · May 2015

Has anyone read I will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi? I haven't read but heard he offers a different perspective than Dave Ramsey

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