Not MMR: Just need support, job transition...

bmo88 · July 2015

Sorry for the flood of emotions in advance, just looking for support. I officially started my new position as the Executive Director of my organization. This was a career dream come true. I am excited and terrified at the same time, I am motivated to do great things, but also frustrated with challenges. All of these things I expected to happen, and I can deal with that.

What I didn't expect to be so hard was dealing with my boss (former Executive Director) leaving. He was the Founder and has led the org for 9 years. I worked for him for almost 4 years and came to be very close and trusted him. I really liked working for him and learned so much under his mentorship. He is leaving on great terms and fully supports me as I take on the role.

Now I am NOT an emotional person at all. I don't publicly get upset often and I maybe cry once or twice a year, usually only if I am physically hurt. But today I was a wreck. My now former boss came in to hand over his keys and officially resign. He kept the meeting short, but left a note saying that he knows I will do great work and how great it has been to work together. I didn't read the note until after he left, thank goodness. When I read it I literally broke down as a flood of tears and emotions came over me. For the first time, everything that is changing felt real. This is happening. I don't know if it is the stress, anxiety of the unknown or lack of sleep, but it was just very atypical of me. I just haven't had to cope with such a huge transition before and it's just hard. Ugh, I will get through it though.

I want to do something nice as a good bye gesture and close things out formally, any suggestions?

Xstatic3333 · July 2015

Awww, changes can be so tough, even good ones. He sounds like an amazing mentor. I am in the nonprofit world too and would feel the same if my boss left. It will get easier!

abrewer5 · July 2015

I've never been in this position, so I'm not speaking from experience but perhaps you could throw him a nice luncheon to close out with everyone in the office. It could be a nice send off for him. I also think one of the best ways to honor his legacy is to kick butt in your new position and do the best you can! He has a lot of faith in you so just make sure you have that faith in your self.

I'm sorry you're going through this, I'm sure it is hard. Good luck in your new position! Once things settle down from transitioning and saying good bye things will get easier.

simplyelise · July 2015

Could you rename a meeting room or something after him and recognize with a plaque? Most states have a retirement resolution that can be prepared by your representative and it's usually really fancy and is a good recognition of someone's years of service.

blondie42107 · July 2015

Keep that note and read it when you have a crappy day. ..

short+sassy · July 2015

Just want to send out some Internet hugs! From what you have written about your experience, you are going to do GREAT in this job! It's totally understandable you had a bit of a meltdown. I'm sure you miss his mentorship already and it was hard to see him leave, even though it came with a great opportunity for you. Plus the turning over of the key was the symbolic turning over of the organization to you.

I know you have been preparing for this changeover for quite some time now. You got this! Realize your emotions will be on a bit of a roller coaster for the next few days, but it will be smoother every day as you get into the full swing of things. Set yourself some time in the evening after you get home from work to just totally decompress.

simplyelise · July 2015

You could also create an award in his name to give out once a year to an employee who exemplified three of his specific qualities of excellence or something?

Definitely want to echo what others said, you are going to rock this! And getting emotional doesn't change that one bit.

We have an employee at my office who is retiring after 28 years with the organization - which has gone from 2 to 30 employees in her time. Our CEO and the senior staffer who is the direct supervisor both got emotional during various recognition events for the retiree. These are people who are very hard-nosed and professional. As a lower level employee, it was really meaningful to me that the bosses were so thoughtful about her retirement and it endeared them to me.

bmo88 · July 2015

Thank you everyone for the support (internet hugs and all) and the great ideas!

I really like the idea of an annual award or naming a conference room after him. I think he would really appreciate that. It's hard because it is like second nature to go to him when making a big decision or when I am frustrated, but now I have to learn to stand on my own two feet and own my decisions.

I agree, showing emotion isn't a terrible thing, but it's sometimes difficult when I feel like there is a pressure to be professional and not show too much. He was a bit emotional too when he turned in his keys and I know this must be very hard for him as well. Starting something, growing it up and then handing it off must be very difficult. So I would really love to honor his work and show that while he may no longer be here, we still very much value his contributions.

als1982 · July 2015

I work in a very professional office but for a non-profit, our philosophy is "no one cries alone." Also, I think that being emotional can be perceived as relateable to those who you now supervise.

I'm not sure the scope of your organization, but in regard to recognition, physical space naming is nice, but I think programmatic naming is better. Then you'll be more likely to include his name when referencing said program or service is mentioned online or in print. If you do a physical space naming, a dedication is nice. Or you could do a nice Shutterfly book with photos or kind words from employees, clients, beneficiaries, etc. throughout the years.

bmo88 · July 2015

als1982: That's a good point about the programmatic vs physical space difference. I like the idea of the shutterfly book, it would be great to get a hold of photos from year 1 up until now for a "memory" book of all the changes that have happened over the years.

MommyLiberty5013 · July 2015

How encouraging! This will be a great model for you going forward to train up and raise up other leaders like he did for you.

TNChick · July 2015

I have a similar experience. My principal who hired me and who has been with me through my whole career retired this year. I am the guidance counselor, and we worked very very closely together. He called me to his office and told me before the staff meeting where he told everyone, and we both cried together! I am the same way in that I don't cry easily. It felt very unprofessional, but he had become like a grandfather to me, and I couldn't help it. I was also grieving the reality that he is irreplaceable, and no one will ever be as good of a boss as he was. Sometimes transitions and personnel changes can be very challenging especially when a staff resembles a family. I just try to remember what he taught me, and the fun times we all had together while teaching and loving our crazy kids!

Not MMR: Just need support, job transition...

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