Money Matters
noffgurl
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When a Loan is Considered a Gift. . .
So, my husband and I got into a little bit of a bind and needed to borrow $300 from someone that we would be able to pay back in full in two weeks. However, the person loaning the money said that since they didn't get us a wedding gift we should consider this money a gift and not worry about paying it back. My question is what is the etiquette here? I don't like the idea of just taking money and would like to attempt to pay them back. But, I heard from someone that this could be considered rude. So, what do I do?
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Re: When a Loan is Considered a Gift. . .
I agree that I would pay back the loan. Thank them for now and then when you have the money just quietly give it to them in an envelope or something like that. If you haven't asked yet, maybe we would help you brainstorm alternatives.
Welcome back! I'm sorry to hear things are so crazy for you.
I would go with your instincts; none of really know the relationship you have with this person, and I don't think this is a one-size-fits-all scenario. For instance, we had borrowed money from H's mom and step-dad way back when to help pay closing costs on our house. It was with the full expectation that it would be paid back, and we did pay it back. However, when I was in college, I borrowed money from my grandma to buy my first car and she told me not to worry about paying it back. At first I felt guilty, but she would have been really offended if I had tried to pay her back, because she truly just wanted me to get through school and be successful. Maybe that's where this person is with you.
Honestly, I would probably get an actual bank loan or take out a credit card before borrowing from family. But that's my choice. I have had bad experiences seeing family relationships go south when money is borrowed though.
We don't know your relationship with the individual (hence why I asked), so we don't necessarily know what's best.
So I didn't criticize your actions or get on any high horse. You may have misinterpreted my response, but I answered your question. Do what you feel is best and move on from there. Best of luck.
Edited for spelling errors.
Good to see you back, though I am so sorry to hear you have been facing some really tough times.
When you have the money, I would go back to this family friend and try to pay her back. But just offer once. If she doesn't want to take the money and still tells you its a gift, than graciously accept it. And go home and write a ty note, post-haste.
I hope things start looking better for you all.