Not MMR but baby related

formerlyGDaisy09 · November 2015

blondie42107 said:

short+sassy said:

Speaking as a childless by choice gal, I'm curious as to the difference between a mid-wife and a doula. I actually thought that was the same thing until I read this thread.

I'm sure others will answer but from this fellow childless gal, I believe a mid-wife is kind of like a nurse/doctor and does the actual delivery. A doula is more of a coach and spokesperson for the mother at the birth.
SITB This. Certified Nurse Midwife can do almost everything an OBGYN can other than write a prescription and surgery. I used midwives with my first pregnancy. I saw them for all of my appts and we're with me through 3 shifts at the hospital before we started talking about a c-section. At that point she brought in the OBGYN and we discussed together. Midwife was present during my c-section.

Yes. A CNM is a certified medical practitioner, they're certified to do almost everything that an OB is, with the exception of performing C-sections (in our hospital if you end-up needing a c-section the OB does the c-section and a CNM assists), I believe they can write prescriptions...I think they're license is at the same level as an APRN, but they specialize in women's health and pre-natal care, so they have to be overseen by a physician, but they can write prescriptions. For most low-to-moderate risk pregnancies a CNM has all the certifications needed to provide the same level of care that an OB/GYN would provide.

A Doula is a non-medical professional trained in comfort measures for labor, they act as part of a labor/birth support team and some even provide post-partum support. they do not have training in the medical side of childbirth. Our Doula has made it clear that she is there for us (both H and I), in early labor she can be at our home helping with comfort measures. Because of H's work schedule it is likely that the best thing for him to do during early labor will be to sleep, so the Doula will be there to be my support team, and so that H feels like he can get some rest and won't be leaving me to work through things on my own, our Doula should be able to give us a good idea of when H should be woken up and when we might think about heading to the hospital (we are using a certified Baby-friendly hospital that's just a mile from our house).

Once we're at the hospital the doula is there for continued support and she can help us better understand any medical decisions we might have to make as we go, we've met with her and she has a good understanding about when we might consider certain medical interventions and can help us make those decisions as we go. We're lucky that our hospital keeps a 1-to-1 ratio of nurses to patients while you're in labor (post-partum they said it might be more like 1-to-2-4 depending on how full things are), but many places that is not the case, so a doula can fill a lot of the support role that used to be a nurse's role (even with a 1-to-1 ratio the nurses have a lot of administrative functions they have to fill).

vlagrl29 · November 2015

BlueBirdMB said:

vlagrl29 This is sort of off, but on topic, but I have questions about maternity leave since you and I have the same job.

How long did you take for maternity leave last time? Did you hire another teacher to take over your schedule? If so, how did you find the teacher? If not, did you lose students who didn't want to wait for you? What percentage?

Granted I don't have as many students as you because I do more gigs but I was just beginning teaching out of my own house that year so I didn't have many but I took 1 month off to recover from the c section and those students I had then were totally fine waiting. We didn't need my income to pay the bills so I could have taken off more time. I only teach 2 nights a week.

This time I am a bit more nervous of how the next pregnancy will affect my business as I have 10 students and 40 gigs a year. If there are gigs I can't play I will have a sub for my part, luckily I have a good amount of sub contacts for our trio. If I were you and were going to take more than 1 month off I would find a sub. You may have some students that will just take that time off and come back and you may have some that want to have that sub option for lessons.

My plan this time is to teach thru next pregnancy and then then take a year off when baby comes. it will be our last baby and I want all the time I can with it. I don't want it to go so fast that I miss stuff. I will still gig but not teach. Everyone is always looking for lessons so when the time comes to go back I'm not concerned about not finding students. Now if I have a hard pregnancy I will have to very much lighten the load and may stop teaching sooner than expected.

bcarb · November 2015

I would agree with others, look into Midwives. I didnt have a doula so I have no experience with that, but it may be a good option to look into for you. I had an OB, but she was amazing! I really do think your Yoga will help you, like I mentioned before, I wish I would have taken Yoga more seriously, my hips/flexors hurt afterwards haha. I had such a quick speedy delivery (considering it was my 1st) but I like to contribute that to being in such good shape, I worked out thru out my whole pregnancy, 6-7 days a week. I walked 3 miles 3-4x a week, did some spinny and body pumped 3x a week.

blondie42107 · November 2015

@lbonga1
That's crazy!

My cousin had a planned induction (Group B strep+ so OB wanted at least one bag of antibiotics in before delivery) with her third baby because each delivery kept getting faster! She arrived at the hospital, dilated, so they offered to break her water. Less than 2 hrs later and 2 or 3 pushes, baby was born!

BlueBirdMB · November 2015

vlagrl29 said:

BlueBirdMB said:

vlagrl29 This is sort of off, but on topic, but I have questions about maternity leave since you and I have the same job.

How long did you take for maternity leave last time? Did you hire another teacher to take over your schedule? If so, how did you find the teacher? If not, did you lose students who didn't want to wait for you? What percentage?

Granted I don't have as many students as you because I do more gigs but I was just beginning teaching out of my own house that year so I didn't have many but I took 1 month off to recover from the c section and those students I had then were totally fine waiting. We didn't need my income to pay the bills so I could have taken off more time. I only teach 2 nights a week.

This time I am a bit more nervous of how the next pregnancy will affect my business as I have 10 students and 40 gigs a year. If there are gigs I can't play I will have a sub for my part, luckily I have a good amount of sub contacts for our trio. If I were you and were going to take more than 1 month off I would find a sub. You may have some students that will just take that time off and come back and you may have some that want to have that sub option for lessons.

My plan this time is to teach thru next pregnancy and then then take a year off when baby comes. it will be our last baby and I want all the time I can with it. I don't want it to go so fast that I miss stuff. I will still gig but not teach. Everyone is always looking for lessons so when the time comes to go back I'm not concerned about not finding students. Now if I have a hard pregnancy I will have to very much lighten the load and may stop teaching sooner than expected.

I definetely want to teach less and only work very part time once we have a baby, so I don't mind losing some students... I just don't want to leave them all in a lurch. I worry a lot about their progress and keeping up momentum. I actually stress about it if I think too much about it (which I don't have to right now since it's far off). It seems so overwhelming to take a maternity leave, but I really want at least 2 months off. I've had such a difficult time finding teachers to work for me who are reliable, so I can't imagine finding someone I'd feel comfortable leaving 55-60 people with.

Thanks for sharing! I'm always looking for advice about this subject!

vlagrl29 · November 2015

BlueBirdMB said:

vlagrl29 said:

BlueBirdMB said:

vlagrl29 This is sort of off, but on topic, but I have questions about maternity leave since you and I have the same job.

How long did you take for maternity leave last time? Did you hire another teacher to take over your schedule? If so, how did you find the teacher? If not, did you lose students who didn't want to wait for you? What percentage?

Granted I don't have as many students as you because I do more gigs but I was just beginning teaching out of my own house that year so I didn't have many but I took 1 month off to recover from the c section and those students I had then were totally fine waiting. We didn't need my income to pay the bills so I could have taken off more time. I only teach 2 nights a week.

This time I am a bit more nervous of how the next pregnancy will affect my business as I have 10 students and 40 gigs a year. If there are gigs I can't play I will have a sub for my part, luckily I have a good amount of sub contacts for our trio. If I were you and were going to take more than 1 month off I would find a sub. You may have some students that will just take that time off and come back and you may have some that want to have that sub option for lessons.

My plan this time is to teach thru next pregnancy and then then take a year off when baby comes. it will be our last baby and I want all the time I can with it. I don't want it to go so fast that I miss stuff. I will still gig but not teach. Everyone is always looking for lessons so when the time comes to go back I'm not concerned about not finding students. Now if I have a hard pregnancy I will have to very much lighten the load and may stop teaching sooner than expected.

I definetely want to teach less and only work very part time once we have a baby, so I don't mind losing some students... I just don't want to leave them all in a lurch. I worry a lot about their progress and keeping up momentum. I actually stress about it if I think too much about it (which I don't have to right now since it's far off). It seems so overwhelming to take a maternity leave, but I really want at least 2 months off. I've had such a difficult time finding teachers to work for me who are reliable, so I can't imagine finding someone I'd feel comfortable leaving 55-60 people with.

Thanks for sharing! I'm always looking for advice about this subject!

It's ok I use to feel that way too. I've just realized that it's ok to put my family first and people will always be taking lessons no matter what whenever I want to get back into it. I just can't see myself doing everything I'm doing now with a 2nd kid.

maple2 · December 2015

bcarb said:

I would agree with others, look into Midwives. I didnt have a doula so I have no experience with that, but it may be a good option to look into for you. I had an OB, but she was amazing! I really do think your Yoga will help you, like I mentioned before, I wish I would have taken Yoga more seriously, my hips/flexors hurt afterwards haha. I had such a quick speedy delivery (considering it was my 1st) but I like to contribute that to being in such good shape, I worked out thru out my whole pregnancy, 6-7 days a week. I walked 3 miles 3-4x a week, did some spinny and body pumped 3x a week.

I used a midwife practice for my first delivery until I had to have an emergency c-section (fetal heart tracing). Where I lived, I wasn't able to have a midwife as my primary ob care giver for the 2nd pregnancy because I'd had a c-section before. I was fortunate to live in an area that let me try for a VBAC. The hospital where I currently live won't let women try for a VBAC period. Not with an MD and definitely now with a midwife. You should definitely find out who your hospital is willing to work with in the case of a VBAC.

A doula might really be a good option for you because the doula's primary focus is always the mother. A doula would definitely be willing and able to provide emotional support throughout your pregnancy, and it sounds like that could really help you. They often provide postpartum services that include cooking and light cleaning, which sounds like a fantastic perk. I don't have personal experience with a doula because we couldn't afford one with either birth (they often aren't covered by insurance), but I know people who are doulas, and I have a very positive impression of those women and would have loved to have had their support throughout my pregnancies.

vlagrl29 · December 2015

maple2 said:

bcarb said:

I would agree with others, look into Midwives. I didnt have a doula so I have no experience with that, but it may be a good option to look into for you. I had an OB, but she was amazing! I really do think your Yoga will help you, like I mentioned before, I wish I would have taken Yoga more seriously, my hips/flexors hurt afterwards haha. I had such a quick speedy delivery (considering it was my 1st) but I like to contribute that to being in such good shape, I worked out thru out my whole pregnancy, 6-7 days a week. I walked 3 miles 3-4x a week, did some spinny and body pumped 3x a week.

I used a midwife practice for my first delivery until I had to have an emergency c-section (fetal heart tracing). Where I lived, I wasn't able to have a midwife as my primary ob care giver for the 2nd pregnancy because I'd had a c-section before. I was fortunate to live in an area that let me try for a VBAC. The hospital where I currently live won't let women try for a VBAC period. Not with an MD and definitely now with a midwife. You should definitely find out who your hospital is willing to work with in the case of a VBAC.

A doula might really be a good option for you because the doula's primary focus is always the mother. A doula would definitely be willing and able to provide emotional support throughout your pregnancy, and it sounds like that could really help you. They often provide postpartum services that include cooking and light cleaning, which sounds like a fantastic perk. I don't have personal experience with a doula because we couldn't afford one with either birth (they often aren't covered by insurance), but I know people who are doulas, and I have a very positive impression of those women and would have loved to have had their support throughout my pregnancies.

Doula is for sure on my list but I need to convince DH of it - but I figure I won't start seriously looking for one until I"m pregnant so we have time. For me personally I want to be in a hospital when I give birth so doing that stuff at home is out of the question. And of the 2 OBs I've already seen - they are super supportive so most likely I won't go the midwife route.

sillygoosegirl · December 2015

I only have one child so far, and similar fears. Not about pregnancy and birth, because those did go well for me (about as well as such things can, which is to say they still pretty much sucked, just not as much as some people's do), but I worry about getting another colicky baby. And while my DD met the clinical definition of colic (3 hours of unexplained crying per day), I know sometimes colic is so much worse than that! By the time she was 5 months old, we actually had figured out the cause, which we should have figured out months earlier, so I also am still coming to grips with guilt over it taking so long and making my baby so miserable in the mean time. Relatedly, there were things I wanted to do with her as a newborn that I didn't do, partly because I was overwhelmed as as a new mom, and partly because having a inconsolable baby was so hard on me emotionally, and partly because I lacked needed knowledge and community support for some of what I wanted to do. Some of those things I know will be better next time. If my next child has a cows milk protein intolerance, I will recognize it and be able to address it right away and far more effectively, for just one example. I won't make the same stupid mistakes I made last time. But who are we kidding? I'm probably going to make different stupid mistakes next time, right? Every baby is different and a lot of the things I learned with the first might not even apply to subsequent babies. Plus, while I have a certain desire to go back to the newborn phase and do it better next time with everything I learned the first time, next time I will do it with an older child too, so for everything I now know how to "do right" next time around, there will probably be two additional challenges I don't know how to deal with.

I would hope that a second baby would show me that I'm not so incompetent of a mom as I feel like, and just had a difficult baby the first time around, but I'm terrified that a second baby would just show me how good I had it the first time around...

Not MMR but baby related

Re: Not MMR but baby related

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