new year ! new start!

AprilZ81 · January 2016

julieanne912 said:

AprilZ81 said:

julieanne912 said:

Alright, in the interest of being "new year new start"... here's our budget/expenses. Our incomes seem a little off because I'm paid every other Friday, whereas H is paid on the 30th and 15th (or thereabouts depending on where weekends fall). We actually budget per paycheck vs monthly.

Also our health insurance premiums and retirements are taken out of our paychecks, and our budget does not include any of our bonuses. He receives large quarterlies, I receive smaller monthlies, during our busier months. His go towards debt repayment, mine go towards savings and/or buying something (like new work clothes or household items) I put off because I can't afford it with my usual budget.

And yes I almost cry when I lay it all out like this. It's pretty bad. His spending/debt habits are not good.

Monthlyish income, after tax: $8,740

Mortgage: $2400 (incl taxes/insurance)
HOA: $48

Citi Card: $320 (0 interest will be paid off next month, was for house driveway)
Cabela's Card: $100 (H uses this mostly for business travel and incidentals for himself)
Wells Fargo Card: $660 (0 interest, will roll Citi balance onto this one when done, was for lanscaping)
Synchrony Bank: $100 (0 interest, for sleep number bed)

His Truck: $904
Camper: $350
RZR: $300
My Car: $525

Vehicle/Camper Insurance: $245/mo (we pay every 6 months)
His gas: $120/mo
My gas: $160/mo

His student loan: $140
My private student loan: $225
My federal student loan: $80

His ipad/iphone: $40 (his work covers most of it)
My phone: $40 (on my stepdad's family plan)

His savings: $150/mo
My savings: $150/mo

His spending: $400/mo
My spending: $300/mo (stuff like Netflix, satellite radio, dog expenses, etc. come out of our spending money)

Groceries: $300/mo

Utilities: $250/mo (goes up to $300 in summer)
DirecTV: $135/mo
Web Hosting: $15/mo

So yeah, OP, I'd say you're in pretty good shape compared to people like us.

$900/month truck payment? How much longer is left? Are you paying more than is due each month?

He just bought it in July. He did it without telling me about 6 weeks before the wedding. His behavior like that is why we haven't combined our finances completely... I don't trust him with the money I do have. His dad acts the same way. He's gotten better than he was but still not really great habits.

Before we bought the house we had no debt other than our vehicles and student loans. He paid extra on his stuff. He says once the landscaping is paid off he'll then focus on his vehicle payments.

Trust me, this is a main point of contention with us.... he's great otherwise though!

Dare I ask what kind of truck he bought that the payment is $900?!? Unless that is a really short loan term I just can't imagine a vehicle payment that large.

brij2006 · January 2016

@julieanne912 Do you care to elaborate on balances on cards/vehicles/student loans, etc? We can help you take a look at your budget and figure out where to make some changes.

vlagrl29 · January 2016

Our life insurance is paid every 6 months thru genworth. Mine is $75 and DH's is $82 for $250k each - payment every six months. I want to increase DHs to $500k once we get pregnant with kid #2. I will probably get a life insurance policy on DD once she is in public school for $10k - that would cover funeral expenses easy god forbid.

julieanne912 · January 2016

AprilZ81 said:

julieanne912 said:

AprilZ81 said:

julieanne912 said:

Alright, in the interest of being "new year new start"... here's our budget/expenses. Our incomes seem a little off because I'm paid every other Friday, whereas H is paid on the 30th and 15th (or thereabouts depending on where weekends fall). We actually budget per paycheck vs monthly.

Also our health insurance premiums and retirements are taken out of our paychecks, and our budget does not include any of our bonuses. He receives large quarterlies, I receive smaller monthlies, during our busier months. His go towards debt repayment, mine go towards savings and/or buying something (like new work clothes or household items) I put off because I can't afford it with my usual budget.

And yes I almost cry when I lay it all out like this. It's pretty bad. His spending/debt habits are not good.

Monthlyish income, after tax: $8,740

Mortgage: $2400 (incl taxes/insurance)
HOA: $48

Citi Card: $320 (0 interest will be paid off next month, was for house driveway)
Cabela's Card: $100 (H uses this mostly for business travel and incidentals for himself)
Wells Fargo Card: $660 (0 interest, will roll Citi balance onto this one when done, was for lanscaping)
Synchrony Bank: $100 (0 interest, for sleep number bed)

His Truck: $904
Camper: $350
RZR: $300
My Car: $525

Vehicle/Camper Insurance: $245/mo (we pay every 6 months)
His gas: $120/mo
My gas: $160/mo

His student loan: $140
My private student loan: $225
My federal student loan: $80

His ipad/iphone: $40 (his work covers most of it)
My phone: $40 (on my stepdad's family plan)

His savings: $150/mo
My savings: $150/mo

His spending: $400/mo
My spending: $300/mo (stuff like Netflix, satellite radio, dog expenses, etc. come out of our spending money)

Groceries: $300/mo

Utilities: $250/mo (goes up to $300 in summer)
DirecTV: $135/mo
Web Hosting: $15/mo

So yeah, OP, I'd say you're in pretty good shape compared to people like us.

$900/month truck payment? How much longer is left? Are you paying more than is due each month?

He just bought it in July. He did it without telling me about 6 weeks before the wedding. His behavior like that is why we haven't combined our finances completely... I don't trust him with the money I do have. His dad acts the same way. He's gotten better than he was but still not really great habits.

Before we bought the house we had no debt other than our vehicles and student loans. He paid extra on his stuff. He says once the landscaping is paid off he'll then focus on his vehicle payments.

Trust me, this is a main point of contention with us.... he's great otherwise though!

Dare I ask what kind of truck he bought that the payment is $900?!? Unless that is a really short loan term I just can't imagine a vehicle payment that large.

2015 F350 super duty dually.

julieanne912 · January 2016

brij2006 said:

@julieanne912 Do you care to elaborate on balances on cards/vehicles/student loans, etc? We can help you take a look at your budget and figure out where to make some changes.

I would but I don't really know all of his balances/terms completely. Here's my budget by itself, broken down into 2 paychecks:

Paycheck 1

Gas: 80 (it's actually more like 55-60 these days but I leave it at 80 in case gas prices go back up)

Spending: 150

Groceries: 150

Fed Student Loan: 70

Savings: 100

Tolls: 25 (I actually don't spend this every month but have it in there in case I do have to use the toll road in the case of inclement weather, or if I need to get home in a hurry, I just put this in savings if I don't use it)

Payment to H: 400 (this goes to him to help pay the mortgage or the the landscaping debt)

Synchrony: 75 (realized I put 100 up top but I only pay 75 right now)

Utilities: 250

Paycheck 2

Car payment: 525

Gas: 80

Spending: 150

Groceries: 150

Priv St Loan: 225 (slightly more than the minimum)

Cell Phone: 40

DirectTV: 135

Any money I don't spend in the line items above goes to savings, same with if I get overtime or bonuses, unless there's something I need but don't have room for in the base line budget, like updating work wardrobe or something for the house (ie I am in need of some new non-stick pans but am waiting til I get a bonus to buy some for around $50).

I can improve in my spending areas, I've recently spent too much on eating out. But I'm also working on losing weight so with that means less eating out, they tend to go hand in hand.

Also, not sure if anybody remembers me mentioning, but I filed BK in Oct of 2014 to eliminate some hefty CC debt I incurred when I tried to start a business in 2008 after the real estate market crashed. I went from 6 figures one year to 28k the next. I was not responsible with my money when I made the big bucks, and completely regret it.

Also, I know my car payment is ridiculous. I bought the car in May of 2013 when I was at a better paying job. It was a low mileage used 2013 Ford Edge. I got laid off July of 2013 and haven't found another job that pays as well since. In June of this year, I transitioned to a new career so I'm still not making what I used to, but the growth potential is huge in a few years. I'm upside down on the car, and it was covered in my BK so I could turn it in at any time at no penalty, but I don't really have enough credit rebuilt to buy a new car at a decent rate, and obviously can't save up enough right now to get something decent that has AWD (required out where we live) and would survive a 40+ mile commute each day. It also has 70,000 miles on it at this point so it's resale value isn't great.

I figure when I improve my credit a bit more I can turn the car in then to get something more reasonable, and perhaps by then I won't be upside down on it.

Anyway,

Balances:

Car Loan: $22,007.76 at 2.9%

Fed Student Loan: $5117.12 at 1.875%

Private Student Loan: $49,061.95 at 5.5% variable

Synchrony: $2516.51 at 0 interest. (This is a joint credit account for our bed, we did it this way so I could work on building my credit back up, so I don't really want to pay it off super quick, just before the 0 interest is up).

What's funny is, H owned a copy of one of Dave's books when I met him. He knows all this debt is bad, but he also likes nice, new things so it's like "Ooo squirrel!" and he gets distracted. It also doesn't help that he feels like he can afford it because he makes a good income... he doesn't understand that he really can't afford it if it means he doesn't have a large Efund (he does have one but not enough) or enough saved for retirement (again he has some, but not enough). Also I think I've mentioned before, he has Crohn's disease, and almost died when he was a teenager because of it... so he has this mentality that he probably won't live a long time so he wants to enjoy life now. But I'm sort of left being like "But what about me?"

Right now my biggest push with him is to get enough life insurance to cover all his debts should he die, that way I won't be stuck with them. None of his stuff is in my name, but still.

brij2006 · January 2016

@julieanne912 I am going to highly recommend that you sit down with your H and lay all of the information out on the line to each other. You should both be involved in the money making decisions and know what and where all of the money is going each month. You should have every right to know every penny and detail about his debts, and the same with him to you.

I'm just going to chime in on his vehicle. I live in farm/redneck country (literally), my dad is a pretty large farmer and owns a F-250 diesel. Your husbands' vehicle is way out of line. As for it being a 2015 F-350, assuming he bought brand new, he probably paid close to $60,000 for that vehicle, if not more for it being a dualie. His behavior about buying this right before the wedding and not consulting you, is childish. However, it will get you nowhere to point that out to him. I would recommend sitting down with him and saying that you're scared for if either of you were to lose your jobs and how you would make ends meet with all of the payments. Tell him you want to discuss where each of your debts are at, and figure out a gameplan together to get on the same page with money. This includes doing a joint budget together, combining your finances, and discussing it.

I'm a Dave Ramsey follower, but his recommendation about things with motors is a good rule to follow. If the things you own with motors, that go down in value, or more than half your annual income, then you own too much car/boat/camper/motorcycle/etc. So in your case, I'm going to assume those numbers are for both of you. Your vehicle value seems quite high for what I'm assuming your portion of the takehome pay is, as well as his is way out of line.

The thing is, he's acting childish. By saying that he wants to live now, it's detrimenting your financial future together, and would leave you with a huge mess if God forbid, something were to happen to him. Or worse yet, he were to lose his job. How would these payments be made? You guys make a great income. Put it in this perspective to him. What all could you do if you had that income and didn't have any payments? What would you do with it? My H was of the same mindset and felt like he worked hard (lots of overtime), so he deserved to play just is hard. But really, it didn't put us in a good financial position. We had payments on stupid crap (wedding rings, brand new car, lawnmower), yet we still continued to feel like we could never get ahead because we were constantly financing things instead of paying cash.

I would seriously look up a Financial Peace University class in your area, sign up for it, and tell him you want him to go with you. Then let the class get the fire started, and you just sit down with him to work the budget end of things and "dream" together about your debt free life.

For us, it helped that my H had another goal in place. He needed something to work toward. Before, it was always to work overtime to get money to modify his toy car. Having the goal of getting out of debt, made him work even harder to get it taken care of sooner. Now he never once says he "deserves" something, and he drives a 10 year old car with 120k miles on it. That never would have happened 3 years ago.

hoffse · January 2016

@Julieanne - here's my $0.02 on it.

I'm not a debt-adverse person (my H isn't either). Both of us make good incomes, and believe me I understand the desire to work hard, play hard. If you were to look at total cash outlay, I'm probably one of the spendier ones on the board. I really really like nice things - nice jewelry, designer labels, etc. I love expensive restaurants. I'm one of those people who would seriously collect art if I could afford to do it.

I'm not into cars, but I can definitely see how some people are.

So that being said, I get where your H is coming from. But unfortunately, he needs to learn to exercise some self-control because you guys can only split the pie so many ways before it runs out.

From what you are describing, it sounds like a lot of his spending is pretty random. He sees a shiny toy, and he jumps for it. I am personally susceptible to the same thing, and the way I handle it is I write down a list of things I want to buy when I get in those moods - everything from a new purse to a new car. Then I edit the list and try to put them in the order of priority. Then I send the whole list to H for a reality check. This helps me resist the temptation to buy now and figure it out later. It also helps me identify which things I really care about, especially when they keep reappearing on my list (a Roomba and a piano have been topping my list recently).

My H thinks I'm a little crazy when I do this because he is content with far less than I am. That being said, he would much rather I go through that exercise than spend the money and drop it on him after the fact. He is always willing to look at my "to buy" list and hash out which things I actually care about and what we can afford to do.

Maybe if your H did something like that, you would be more included in the decision-making. It would probably be good for both of you if you had some veto power on the big spending.

julieanne912 · January 2016

Thanks to both of you. I need to be better about being assertive without just sounding like a nag to him.

His truck was around 50... that's how he "reasoned" getting it... "it's such a good deal!". It does tow our camper better than his old truck did, but that's the only positive I could think of with him getting it. Otherwise it just sits there, because it's too big to take anywhere other than him using it for errands around town and it isn't comfortable without the trailer to take on longer trips. We take my car for everything.

And hoffse, you are exactly right... he's an impulse spender for sure. Like the camper is a great example of that. We went camping (in tents) with some friends. The next weekend, he's like "let's go check out some campers", and I agreed, cause I always think it's fun to look and knew we did want to get one eventually, I just figured it was a research trip to see what we could get for X price. Well, he saw this one, did no research whatsoever, and bought it that day. Turns out, he didn't get the best deal he could have. And now, we wish we got a different one altogether.

I like your idea of having him write down a list so he can prioritize. Even this past weekend he was saying how he needs to put more towards paying off the debt, but then last night after a few beers, decides to buy a new jersey at the hockey game, which was $200. I get so tired of telling him no all the time, I didn't say anything at all. So I agree we need to have a chat, while not "in the moment" about what he's really doing to himself and our future by acting that way.

AprilZ81 · January 2016

julieanne912 said:

Thanks to both of you. I need to be better about being assertive without just sounding like a nag to him.

His truck was around 50... that's how he "reasoned" getting it... "it's such a good deal!". It does tow our camper better than his old truck did, but that's the only positive I could think of with him getting it. Otherwise it just sits there, because it's too big to take anywhere other than him using it for errands around town and it isn't comfortable without the trailer to take on longer trips. We take my car for everything.

And hoffse, you are exactly right... he's an impulse spender for sure. Like the camper is a great example of that. We went camping (in tents) with some friends. The next weekend, he's like "let's go check out some campers", and I agreed, cause I always think it's fun to look and knew we did want to get one eventually, I just figured it was a research trip to see what we could get for X price. Well, he saw this one, did no research whatsoever, and bought it that day. Turns out, he didn't get the best deal he could have. And now, we wish we got a different one altogether.

I like your idea of having him write down a list so he can prioritize. Even this past weekend he was saying how he needs to put more towards paying off the debt, but then last night after a few beers, decides to buy a new jersey at the hockey game, which was $200. I get so tired of telling him no all the time, I didn't say anything at all. So I agree we need to have a chat, while not "in the moment" about what he's really doing to himself and our future by acting that way.

How would he react if you suggested he sell both the truck and the camper?

If the truck is only used for running errands and to pull the camper that isn't a good enough reason to "own" a truck that expensive. If you don't really like the camper anyway, just sell it and then wait to do the research (and have more debt paid off) and then get what you really want and can afford.

julieanne912 · January 2016

AprilZ81 said:

julieanne912 said:

Thanks to both of you. I need to be better about being assertive without just sounding like a nag to him.

His truck was around 50... that's how he "reasoned" getting it... "it's such a good deal!". It does tow our camper better than his old truck did, but that's the only positive I could think of with him getting it. Otherwise it just sits there, because it's too big to take anywhere other than him using it for errands around town and it isn't comfortable without the trailer to take on longer trips. We take my car for everything.

And hoffse, you are exactly right... he's an impulse spender for sure. Like the camper is a great example of that. We went camping (in tents) with some friends. The next weekend, he's like "let's go check out some campers", and I agreed, cause I always think it's fun to look and knew we did want to get one eventually, I just figured it was a research trip to see what we could get for X price. Well, he saw this one, did no research whatsoever, and bought it that day. Turns out, he didn't get the best deal he could have. And now, we wish we got a different one altogether.

I like your idea of having him write down a list so he can prioritize. Even this past weekend he was saying how he needs to put more towards paying off the debt, but then last night after a few beers, decides to buy a new jersey at the hockey game, which was $200. I get so tired of telling him no all the time, I didn't say anything at all. So I agree we need to have a chat, while not "in the moment" about what he's really doing to himself and our future by acting that way.

How would he react if you suggested he sell both the truck and the camper?

If the truck is only used for running errands and to pull the camper that isn't a good enough reason to "own" a truck that expensive. If you don't really like the camper anyway, just sell it and then wait to do the research (and have more debt paid off) and then get what you really want and can afford.

Well I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy having the camper too, even though if it came down to having it or having the extra money, I'd go for the extra money. But at this point we wouldn't be able to sell either one and break even (another reason why we should have bought a used camper... they depreciate quickly). I don't think suggesting selling them both would go over well at all.

mgarza1231 · January 2016

I am new here so I guess I will go ahead and post our budget. Advice is welcome.

Our income is solely my husband, I currently stay at home and I am finishing college, will graduate in May 2017. When I start working our income will increase up to $4000/month.

Auto Insurance: $102 (2 Cars, Full Coverage)

Auto Payments: $651 (Mine @ $300, H's @ $351) *I know these are super high, we're working on it.

Fuel: $150

Internet: $37

Phones: $174 (H's and Mine)

Utilities: $350 *Fluctuates depending on season

Student Loan: $50 ($650 balance) *Paying off this weekend!

Amusement: $20 (Mostly renting movies, etc.)

Netflix: $9

Hulu: $9

Life Insurance: $67 (Term)

Food: $500 (Family of 4)

Donations: $35 (World Vision)

Health Insurance: $135

Mortgage: $1448 (Including taxes)

Preschool: $351 (2 Days a week for 2 kids while I go to class)

Credit Card 1: $25 ($450 Balance) *Paying off this month

Credit Card 2: $67 ($3500 Balance)

Credit Card 3: $194 ($8800 Balance)

Total: $4374

Income: $5300

Debt Snowball: Around $1000, will go up slightly as some things get paid off. We are paying off our debts smallest to largest.

brij2006 · January 2016

julieanne912 said:

AprilZ81 said:

julieanne912 said:

Thanks to both of you. I need to be better about being assertive without just sounding like a nag to him.

His truck was around 50... that's how he "reasoned" getting it... "it's such a good deal!". It does tow our camper better than his old truck did, but that's the only positive I could think of with him getting it. Otherwise it just sits there, because it's too big to take anywhere other than him using it for errands around town and it isn't comfortable without the trailer to take on longer trips. We take my car for everything.

And hoffse, you are exactly right... he's an impulse spender for sure. Like the camper is a great example of that. We went camping (in tents) with some friends. The next weekend, he's like "let's go check out some campers", and I agreed, cause I always think it's fun to look and knew we did want to get one eventually, I just figured it was a research trip to see what we could get for X price. Well, he saw this one, did no research whatsoever, and bought it that day. Turns out, he didn't get the best deal he could have. And now, we wish we got a different one altogether.

I like your idea of having him write down a list so he can prioritize. Even this past weekend he was saying how he needs to put more towards paying off the debt, but then last night after a few beers, decides to buy a new jersey at the hockey game, which was $200. I get so tired of telling him no all the time, I didn't say anything at all. So I agree we need to have a chat, while not "in the moment" about what he's really doing to himself and our future by acting that way.

How would he react if you suggested he sell both the truck and the camper?

If the truck is only used for running errands and to pull the camper that isn't a good enough reason to "own" a truck that expensive. If you don't really like the camper anyway, just sell it and then wait to do the research (and have more debt paid off) and then get what you really want and can afford.

Well I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy having the camper too, even though if it came down to having it or having the extra money, I'd go for the extra money. But at this point we wouldn't be able to sell either one and break even (another reason why we should have bought a used camper... they depreciate quickly). I don't think suggesting selling them both would go over well at all.

Yeah, it's probably something to where you can't just say to him, "let's sell your truck and toys and pay off debt." He will think his wife has gone off the deep end.

You may want to approach this in a roundabout way. Tell him you want to do a budget together since it's a new year and figure out where things are. He probably agrees with you that 2015 was a spendy year, so you can play off that and tell him that you want to work on a plan to make sure 2016 doesn't follow suit.

Then sit down with the bank statements from December, for both of your accounts. If you use credit cards, print the statements for those in December as well. Then have him sit down with his, and you with yours, and itemize every single transaction. Was it gas, groceries, eating out, entertainment, random spending? Give every line item a category, no item should be placed into "miscellaneous."

This will get both of you figuring how how much and where you spend your money. Then you can figure out what categories you both want to minimize each month. Or it may give you a good idea on how much you actually spend on things, and realize how crazy it is in certain categories.

It's very eye opening to sit down and figure out where every penny went, but it's also liberating.

Then, get on a plan together. I can't express enough how important it is to combine finances with this. It keeps each of you accountable. If it's his and hers, then either can spend without worrying about the other seeing what was spent. But if it's a joint account that both are entitled to see and know everything about, it makes the spending different. Track every penny spent from here forward. Give every penny a name, before it even comes in. How much is going to be spent on gas? Eating out? Groceries? Entertainment? Extra toward debt? Etc.

Lastly, open up to each other about all of the debt. Every penny. You should know every detail, and he should know every detail.

It sounds like he makes substantially more than you do. That doesn't matter. You're a household now. A husband and wife. A team. It's OUR income and OUR expenses.

new year ! new start!

Re: new year ! new start!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards