GTKY and other money randoms!

Mustard76 · March 2016

1. What's your favorite splurge? Stuff for the house, without question.
2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Clothes, shoes, accessories.
3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? No. Not at all. My parents made so many sacrifices when my brother and I were young in order to send us to private school. But they never spoke about money. Ever. One habit that my dad did instill in me was saving. I got my first job at 15 and every payday, I had to show him my pay stub and hand him 50% of it. He saved it all for me and I used it for college. I still remember him saying that 50% of my pay is the most disposable income I would ever have. Oh, how very true that is.
4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Yes. We only fought about money before we got married and my name wasn't on the house. That was a really big mistake for us. But outside of that one situation, we haven't ever had a single fight about money.
5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? Paying off my SLs before they were scheduled to mature. When I first graduated and I was a low wage earner, I thought I was going to drown in student loan repayment. But I kept my head down and kept plugging away. Man, that last payment felt so good!
6. What's your greatest money regret? I want to say so many things. And yet, I learned a lot from falling down and finding my own way. I realize how cliche that sounds, but it's true.
7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? That money is such a personal topic. There's more than one "right" way to handle finances.
8. Random: I have not missed Facebook one bit since we broke up in January. I thought I would miss being so tuned in to what everyone was up to, but no. Now I'm just as happy reading a book at night instead of scrolling through my news feed.

PurpleBookmark · March 2016

It's been quiet around here lately, so...

1. What's your favorite splurge?

Magazines. I adore magazines. I use my birthday or Christmas gift money to get subscriptions, I currently receive Parents, Redbook, O, Simple Grace and Weight Watchers plus I usually buy Real Simple and occasionally a Women's World once per month. Also my Mom passes on her Us Weekly, Entertainment Weekly and People magazine. I skim through Entertainment Weekly and People but I actually do read all of the others!

2. What do you find easy to skimp on?

Clothes, only because there are so many great bargains for nice, fashionable clothing. The majority of mine comes from Wal Mart and for the kids garage sales and secondhand stores have a ton of great stuff. I tend to look at blogs or websites like Old Navy or Macys to kind of "follow" the trends I like and almost always Wal Mart has a pretty darn good version! Kid clothes are just so cute by and large although it's a lot easier to find used girls clothes than used boy clothes. At this point really I'm getting most of DS's clothes at Wal Mart too.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances?

I think so. I'm not completely sure about their financial picture but I know they were savers and they paid their bills regularly which we do as well.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances?

Yes for the most part.

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment?

Learning from our mistakes - example: we bought a time share at Disney when we were young, DINKs and generally just incredibly naïve. We sold it thank goodness and learned a huge lesson in never making a large purchase without a waiting period first to think through it!

6. What's your greatest money regret?

When we were pregnant with DS we started banking my paycheck in preparation for being a SAHM - it turns out we could live on DH's salary no problem. I kick myself for not doing this for our entire marriage, we could have had a massive down payment or even bought a small home cash if we had done that from the beginning. We frittered away SO much money when we were younger.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board?

Everyone is so different, and that's an awesome thing. I love seeing the different points of view on how to handle finances.

8. Random

I don't have a cat but I think they are adorable. I have a Pinterest board of cat pictures that I have to exercise a lot of self control over so my friends don't think I'm an insane cat lady. Someday when my kids are older I am definitely looking forward to adopting one.

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

1. What's your favorite splurge?

We splurge on our pets (mainly the dogs...though the cats get spoiled occasionally). Now I also have a hard time holding back on baby things (ehem...PBKs Easter Basket arrives at our house today).

2. What do you find easy to skimp on? I skimp on clothes, I have clothes I bought freshmen year of high school (15 years ago) that I still wear. I am trying to get better about buying investment pieces and I'm slowing replacing all the cheap things I've been trying to make last too long (most are horribly faded, pilling, and might have small holes). I'm trying to be good about buying higher quality items when I find them for a deal (and making sure I'm buying them because they're a good investment, not because they're a deal).

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances?

Yes, I'm a saver and a planner, like them. and Like them I keep a wish list of goals and keep my eye on prices and sometimes jump on things a little earlier than planned if the right bargain comes along. I'm a bargain shopper, but I do care about quality too. a great example of this would be the high chair we just bought for the baby; yes you can get a functioning high chair for less than $50, and yes you can get a used one for even less, however this is something that will likely sit in my kitchen or dining room for upwards of a year or even more if we get an adjustable one that can pull up to the table, rather than using a booster seat, and it'll get used again if there's ever a second baby; I want it to be something that I don't mind looking at. So I spent hours looking at different models, H and I settled on a bent-wood chair that matched the wood on our dining room table, it was $189, but we put it on our baby registry thinking someone might buy it for us, or even after baby was born we'd have 6 months or so to keep an eye on the price. last week it went on sale for $140, so even though we won't need it for another 2 months I jumped on it.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances?

yes and no. H has made some poor money choices in the past and most his decisions are driven by emotions, H defers most money decisions to me, but we talk about everything.

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment?

paying off the $35K+ in credit card debt H brought to our marriage.

6. What's your greatest money regret?

I wish we'd shopped around a little more for my car. I love my car (I've said it here many times) but I wish we'd gone about buying it differently...this is where that living and learning thing happens.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board?

I this board makes me think, if anything I'm more thoughtful about where and how we spend out money.

8. Random

on the wedding front; my parents paid for our wedding, and I don't regret it at all. it was in the $15K range and we had 125 guests. I do wish we'd spent more on a photographer. Honestly my biggest regret about our wedding was that H and I never talked about how we wanted to spend the day after our wedding; he had a ton of friends in from out of town who coerced him into going out to breakfast the morning after...so the day after our wedding he took off for about 4 hours leaving me at the inn with my parents and all their friends.

jessica490 · March 2016

dragonstarjk said:

jessica490 said:

Fun! I like these posts
1. What's your favorite splurge? I like clothes! I don't shop often but when I do I spend a chunk of money to buy a bunch of things so I will be set for years lol. I mostly shop at Kohls too because they have good prices and coupons
2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Primping. I don't get manicures or pedicures, and my haircuts are done at a chain store for $16. I do like massages though once in awhile...
3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Yes, I'm frugal, I save $, but I like to have fun too. More memories and less "stuff". I hope to retire early
4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Luckily, yes.
5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? I think just being able to buy a house was a big deal....finally!
6. What's your greatest money regret? I wish I had started saving more money in general and to retirement in my late teens/early 20's instead of shopping and buying crap for myself and big dollar gifts for family members
7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? To plan ahead for purchases and save for retirement. Everyone has been SO helpful!
8. Random- I fantasize about retirement even though I'm 33. I just don't like the concept of working.....

I could have probably written most of this myself! We're like twins.....

Haha! I've noticed that on other posts as well...we are very similar.

jessica490 · March 2016

MommyLiberty5013 said:

julieanne912 said:

1. Hmmm, I personally don't splurge on much since things are so tight. But I guess my car. It's more expensive than I should be paying, but I spend a lot of time in it and I like having a nice car. H splurges on too many things but my favorite of his splurges is probably hockey season tickets (which we're not doing next year).

2. Uhh everything? But probably groceries. I am pretty good at getting creative and shopping sales etc., to keep our grocery bill pretty low without us feeling like we're eating rice and beans every night.

3. Nope. Mainly because my folks never talked about money. But I've also always liked nice things, my brother is the polar opposite of me, so personality comes into play there for sure. My mom recently told me that they weren't always good with money... they did stuff like pull out short term title loans on their car when they needed fast cash, had tax liens on their house, etc. But I always remember her being very good with money, and she was able to retire 6 months before she turned 65 without any issues.

4. Uh, nope. He's a "live in the now" kind of guy, and money is what most of our arguments are about. Things have gotten better than they were, but he still likes to spend. He feels like if he can afford the monthly payment on something, that means he can afford it. But he's stretched to the max. Definitely something we are working on, and will probably continue to work on for a long time.

5. This is completely not MM, but while I wouldn't say "proudest", I'd say mine is when I decided to file for BK. I was in completely over my head, and couldn't see a way out, even if I worked 2 jobs, lived even more frugally than I was, etc. Filing gave me some freedom so I could "start over" and be more responsible this time around. Definitely learned from my mistakes.

6. I spent almost everything I made in my 20s. I made a very good income, over double what I make now, but had nothing to show for it other than fancy things and some good memories. I did pay down my student loans some during that time, but didn't save anything. I'm still paying for my decisions 10 years ago, today.

7. That I'm a completely financial loser LOL! But no really, while this board has made me realize how far behind I am, it also helps me to learn new things and almost keeps me a bit accountable.
8. My middle name is Anne, after Anne of Green Gables.

My middle name is Anne too. Love the "e" by the way!

My middle name is Ann (without the E)

short+sassy · March 2016

kmurphy2131 said:

MommyLiberty5013 said:

8. Random - I collect antique green glass. My middle name is also Anne. DH and I met on e-Harmony. I sing in my church's praise band. As for weddings, my dad is 50% Italian and he felt it was culturally "proper" for him and my mom to pay for my wedding. We had about 150 people.

Yay for online dating. My husband and I met through match.com. He can be super weird about it but I have always been open about it -it's so common now!

My H and I met through Yahoo Personals.

NicA617 · March 2016

1. Favorite splurge?
We travel… A LOT! It’s SO’s passion, we will be flying home from vacation & he’s plotting the next one.

2. Easy skimp?
Crap, I can’t think of anything.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances?
My dad was awesome, he didn’t make a ton of money, he didn’t have a college degree, but he worked hard, saved & invested. He earmarked money for what was important to him: college for me & my sisters, both of their weddings, a tiny beach cottage so we had family vacations every summer & retirement. He skimped on everything else. He also retired at 50!! He’s been gone for 3 years but his smart money decisions allowed my mom to not have to worry about $ now that she is retired. I wish I listened to him more when he preached about finances, I could’ve learned a lot.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances?
SO & I are pretty similar, I shop more, but we save a lot for retirement, since we don’t have/plan to have kids... we know we’ll be taking care of ourselves.

5. Proudest money accomplishment?
Saving the 20% down payment ($40k) to buy my first condo ALL BY MYSELF at 29.

6. Greatest money regret?
Having a credit card in college & being stupid with it.

7. Biggest take away from this board?
I just love reading about money issues from different perspectives.

8. Random –
My fingers & toes are crossed that SO gets a job this week!!! He had two 2^nd interviews last week & is SO ready to get back to work.

KatieCutie05 · March 2016

1. What's your favorite splurge?

Starbucks coffee.... especially in the fall during pumpkin season.

2. What do you find easy to skimp on?

clothes, makeup, toys, hobbies, etc. i dont need much.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances?

No not at all, thank God! My parents just fought all the time, didnt have a budget, and finally my mom had to go out and get a separate account for bills that my dad didnt know about because she was tired of checks bouncing because he spent too much.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances?

Yes and No. More then we used to. He's a big spender and i'm frugal. But we balance each other out pretty well.

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment?

Paying down our debt as much as we have and getting rid of credit cards and high car payments.

6. What's your greatest money regret?

Student Loans/ spending so much on college.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board?

Hearing everyones different stance on money and debt. you can be responsible with money and still have some debt or spend some money.

8. Random

H and I are drifting away from the whole DR mindset into a more relaxed/ less strict MM system. It served us well in the beginning But we're not going to let my student loans run our lives anymore. And rushing to get them paid off before we do anything is just giving old Sallie mae way more power in our lives then she deserves. Whats most important is having a budget and a plan and that we will always have

labro · March 2016

@hoffse Is that the same treehouse I see circulate around FB as one of the top AirBNB rentals? It looks super familiar! Also you look beautiful!

re weddings: My parents paid for ours. They didn't offer the money just as a check although I'm sure if we had wanted it as a check instead of having a large affair then they would have given it to us. We had 116 people attend and it was absolutely perfect. Neither of our families live close by, everyone is scattered to the four winds, so it was nice to have nearly all of our relatives together for a few days surrounding the wedding. With that said...I think a 300 person guest list would have stressed me out too and I like attention!

julieanne912 · March 2016

MommyLiberty5013 said:

1. What's your favorite splurge? For sure...massages. The really long ones like 1 1/2 hours.
2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Clothing. I buy my clothes at Target as I need them. And if I can, I try and wait until the Cartwheel sales pop up for clothing too. I tend not to skimp on shoes, though, because having my feet not hurt is important. I can easily drop $100+ on a pair of shoes.
3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Yes, my dad opened my first credit card for me when I was 18 and the expectation was I used it for things I needed at college (he paid the bill). But, when he passed the bill paying on to me once I had my first job, I always paid on time and in full. Also, my parents are big savers. My dad paid cash for my entire under graduate education. And, they always pay cash for cars. I'm more of a spender then he is, but more frugal than my mom. My dad and I currently discuss finances quite openly.
4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Yes, we do. DH is more of a saver than me. When I met him he slept on a half deflated air mattress and had a cardboard box as a night stand.
5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? Never being in debt. Not living paycheck to paycheck. Always having a high credit score.
6. What's your greatest money regret? In 2005, I signed up for Mary Kay and while I'm still a consultant now, I regret doing a $2,400 outlay of expenditure to get "product on my shelf." It was the only time in life when I carried a CC balance for a few months. I thought I "needed" the product to do the MK thing the right way. But, after I figured out the ropes, I realized that I was just too rushed by my sales director to order. And, since I had no idea what to order, she did the order for me and I ended up not even selling a lot of what she had purchased on my behalf. Ugh.
7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? Just hearing about other peoples' successes and questions.
8. Random - I collect antique green glass. My middle name is also Anne. DH and I met on e-Harmony. I sing in my church's praise band. As for weddings, my dad is 50% Italian and he felt it was culturally "proper" for him and my mom to pay for my wedding. We had about 150 people.

While H and I didn't meet on Eharmony proper, we met on their (now defunct) message boards

hoffse · March 2016

labro said:

@hoffse Is that the same treehouse I see circulate around FB as one of the top AirBNB rentals? It looks super familiar! Also you look beautiful!

re weddings: My parents paid for ours. They didn't offer the money just as a check although I'm sure if we had wanted it as a check instead of having a large affair then they would have given it to us. We had 116 people attend and it was absolutely perfect. Neither of our families live close by, everyone is scattered to the four winds, so it was nice to have nearly all of our relatives together for a few days surrounding the wedding. With that said...I think a 300 person guest list would have stressed me out too and I like attention!

Thanks!

I doubt they rent it out at AirBnB, because I think it's owned by the city, actually. I had never even heard of it until my photog suggested it. We were there for about 4 hours on a perfect day, and nobody else showed up. One of those hidden gems in the Chattanooga area!

emily1004 · March 2016

1.What's your favorite splurge? A pair of gold Christian Louboutins.

2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Technology, I don't have to have the latest and greatest model. Gym membership, can't beat $10 a month.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Not at all, my parents have made some very careless mistakes with money.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Most of the time. Saving is important to both of us, we pay ourselves first, but we splurge on wine a little too much. We put the quash on that for the next few months, though.

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? Paying off my student loans in 4 years on a ten year plan, and paying off my car in 2 1/2 years on a 5 year loan.

6. What's your greatest money regret? My wedding. But, I actually wish I had spend a little more. Why? Because I cheaped out on some vendors and it was disastrous.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? I'm quite impressed on how some people on this board, take home less money then we do and have children and still make a budget it work and stay disciplined.

8. Random: AW for H. He was chosen by our alma mater for the Alumni's associations 10 within 10 award. It's for alumni who have graduated in the last 10 years and have gone above and beyond in their career, community and for the university.

orangehills · March 2016

1. What's your favorite splurge? Food! Going out to eat. And stuff for the house- decorations and whatnot

2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Myself- hair cuts, nails, clothes, purses, etc...

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Yes- I like to buy toys like my dad, but save and pay off debt like my mom. I'm kind of in the middle of them.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Not really... He kinda follows my lead. He's not good with money- he's lost a lot through not smart decisions, and bought things he couldn't afford. I really had to work on him to get him to sell stuff and pay things off faster so we could save more. We still argue from time to time- I've realized I'm kind of on my own but he gives me the reigns to do what I need to do to keep us afloat. It would be better if he was on the same page, we would be doing better, but oh well..

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? Getting our finances in order!! Since we got married a little less than 3 years ago, I paid off 7k in credit card debt, 5k in student loan debt so that it's all gone, sold 2 cars that were too expensive for us, and bought one in cash so we have no more payments, plus got our savings WAY up and bought a new "forever" home! (obviously my husband helped but not gonna lie.. it was me orchestrating all the moves!)

6. What's your greatest money regret? Not having enough in retirement!! Thankfully we have a friend who is a financial adviser at Morgan Stanley and she's helping us get on track.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? Getting advice.. and just having others out there backing up my beliefs!

8. Random? My mom and I took a trip to Prince Edward Island to see the Anne of Green Gables home and all of that.. it was awesome and I want to go again!

julieanne912 · March 2016

orangehills said:

1. What's your favorite splurge? Food! Going out to eat. And stuff for the house- decorations and whatnot

2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Myself- hair cuts, nails, clothes, purses, etc...

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Yes- I like to buy toys like my dad, but save and pay off debt like my mom. I'm kind of in the middle of them.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Not really... He kinda follows my lead. He's not good with money- he's lost a lot through not smart decisions, and bought things he couldn't afford. I really had to work on him to get him to sell stuff and pay things off faster so we could save more. We still argue from time to time- I've realized I'm kind of on my own but he gives me the reigns to do what I need to do to keep us afloat. It would be better if he was on the same page, we would be doing better, but oh well..

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? Getting our finances in order!! Since we got married a little less than 3 years ago, I paid off 7k in credit card debt, 5k in student loan debt so that it's all gone, sold 2 cars that were too expensive for us, and bought one in cash so we have no more payments, plus got our savings WAY up and bought a new "forever" home! (obviously my husband helped but not gonna lie.. it was me orchestrating all the moves!)

6. What's your greatest money regret? Not having enough in retirement!! Thankfully we have a friend who is a financial adviser at Morgan Stanley and she's helping us get on track.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? Getting advice.. and just having others out there backing up my beliefs!

8. Random? My mom and I took a trip to Prince Edward Island to see the Anne of Green Gables home and all of that.. it was awesome and I want to go again!

I'm soooo jealous of your trip. My mom and I were actually planning a trip like that for my 30th birthday, but then I met H and moved to Colorado instead. I still want to go!!

orangehills · March 2016

8. My middle name is Anne, after Anne of Green Gables.

I did my random before i saw this! If I have another girl, her middle name will be Anne after her as well I almost used it for my daughter now, but went with the feminine version of my dad's name instead.

emily1004 · March 2016

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse My dad offered that same thing. Young and dumb, right? We NEEDED the big wedding.

How many people did you guys have?

What's crazy is while 300 is on the bigger side, it's definitely not huge for southern weddings. I've been to quite a few weddings with upwards of 500 people.

I only realized how stupid it was after we had fully committed to it and invitations had gone out. When we were doing the table charts, I realized H and I were trying to place a bunch of people at tables whom we had never met before. Not just dates, but people we had actually invited whom we had never met.

380 guest here! H didn't want to insult any Jew in the metro Detroit area. But I loved having all those people there!

The airing of our wedding day grievances: I would of had the ceremony at another venue, but the reception food and beverage selection was amazing! It was at the same place. More money. I would of started it earlier and we would of saw each other before I went down the aisle. More money. I would of hired a different florist. More money. A different photographer, More money. Had a band. A lot more money. A different string quartet, actually that would of been less money. Had a hospitality suite. More money. Hired someone else to do the dress alternations. Maybe less money. She raked me over the coals. Hired my current hairstylist. More money. (I looked like a woman with a beehive). AND I would of had my pick of my favorite wine served at dinner. Defiantly more money. Hey, I might still be in debt after that wedding, so maybe it was a good thing???

hoffse · March 2016

Oh yeah the band was definitely a lot of money. I think we offset some of the cost with the bar tab though, because we had people dance more and drink less. We were charged consumption, so that made a big difference.

JoanE2012 · March 2016

NicA617 said:

1. Favorite splurge?
We travel… A LOT! It’s SO’s passion, we will be flying home from vacation & he’s plotting the next one.

2. Easy skimp?
Crap, I can’t think of anything.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances?
My dad was awesome, he didn’t make a ton of money, he didn’t have a college degree, but he worked hard, saved & invested. He earmarked money for what was important to him: college for me & my sisters, both of their weddings, a tiny beach cottage so we had family vacations every summer & retirement. He skimped on everything else. He also retired at 50!! He’s been gone for 3 years but his smart money decisions allowed my mom to not have to worry about $ now that she is retired. I wish I listened to him more when he preached about finances, I could’ve learned a lot.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances?
SO & I are pretty similar, I shop more, but we save a lot for retirement, since we don’t have/plan to have kids... we know we’ll be taking care of ourselves.

5. Proudest money accomplishment?
Saving the 20% down payment ($40k) to buy my first condo ALL BY MYSELF at 29.

6. Greatest money regret?
Having a credit card in college & being stupid with it.

7. Biggest take away from this board?
I just love reading about money issues from different perspectives.

8. Random –
My fingers & toes are crossed that SO gets a job this week!!! He had two 2^nd interviews last week & is SO ready to get back to work.

I like to have the next trip planned and booked before we take the first one - so there's something to look forward to when we get home. We are going in away in 5 weeks (but who's counting) and I'm trying to plan the next vacation. It's driving DH nuts.

brij2006 · March 2016

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse My dad offered that same thing. Young and dumb, right? We NEEDED the big wedding.

How many people did you guys have?

What's crazy is while 300 is on the bigger side, it's definitely not huge for southern weddings. I've been to quite a few weddings with upwards of 500 people.

I only realized how stupid it was after we had fully committed to it and invitations had gone out. When we were doing the table charts, I realized H and I were trying to place a bunch of people at tables whom we had never met before. Not just dates, but people we had actually invited whom we had never met.

@hoffse Our invite list was 550 people. We had 380 guests in attendance.
Our wedding was a wonderful time, beautiful, and I do not regret having it. But I do wish we would have only spent $5k instead and done a simple wedding at the church with a bbq outside at the farm. Minimal decorations, simple food, etc.

The only plus side was that out of those 380 guests, we ended up with about 75 of our closest family and friends who stayed the entire time and spent the night at the hotel. We had a blast and still talk about how great of a party it was. But an expensive party that we could have done so much more with. If I could do it all over again, just those people would have been invited and it would have been something simple anyways. My MIL invited every single person she ever knew and it just got out of hand. Then if you invite great uncles on this side, you should invite them on all sides (H's parents are divorced). So we had even extra people invited that didn't need to be.

I will say though, now that my brother is gone, we do appreciate having those pictures and video with him. I find myself watching our wedding video often, just so I can hear his voice and our interactions with each other. So I am thankful we spent good money in the right areas.

bananasplit472001 · March 2016

I am new the the nest coming form theknot over a year ago. I'll try this:

1. What's your favorite splurge? The deck we just built for our home.

2. What do you find easy to skimp on? Toiletry items like toilet paper, paper towels, shaving cream. Stuff that doesn't matter what the brand is.

3. Are you like your parents when it comes to finances? Yes, aim to save as much as my salary as possible and be frugal.

4. Do you and your spouse align when it comes to finances? Yes.

5. What's your proudest money accomplishment? being able to save money triple the money that we needed on a downpayment for a house.

6. What's your greatest money regret? Buying designer items when I was 18-21.

7. What's been your biggest take away from this board? I am new here.

8. Random I have a twin sister

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse My dad offered that same thing. Young and dumb, right? We NEEDED the big wedding.

How many people did you guys have?

What's crazy is while 300 is on the bigger side, it's definitely not huge for southern weddings. I've been to quite a few weddings with upwards of 500 people.

I only realized how stupid it was after we had fully committed to it and invitations had gone out. When we were doing the table charts, I realized H and I were trying to place a bunch of people at tables whom we had never met before. Not just dates, but people we had actually invited whom we had never met.

@hoffse Our invite list was 550 people. We had 380 guests in attendance.
Our wedding was a wonderful time, beautiful, and I do not regret having it. But I do wish we would have only spent $5k instead and done a simple wedding at the church with a bbq outside at the farm. Minimal decorations, simple food, etc.
The only plus side was that out of those 380 guests, we ended up with about 75 of our closest family and friends who stayed the entire time and spent the night at the hotel. We had a blast and still talk about how great of a party it was. But an expensive party that we could have done so much more with. If I could do it all over again, just those people would have been invited and it would have been something simple anyways. My MIL invited every single person she ever knew and it just got out of hand. Then if you invite great uncles on this side, you should invite them on all sides (H's parents are divorced). So we had even extra people invited that didn't need to be.

I will say though, now that my brother is gone, we do appreciate having those pictures and video with him. I find myself watching our wedding video often, just so I can hear his voice and our interactions with each other. So I am thankful we spent good money in the right areas.

My MIL tried to invite every single person she knew and distant relatives H had never met; at one point we had more than 300 on our guest list (our final invite count was 125 and we had 115 at the wedding). we had to put our foot down and make a rule that if we didn't know the people, or if H couldn't tell me how they were related, they didn't get an invite. It would have been much different if H's parents had contributed to the wedding, but since my parents and H and I were footing the bill we had to trim the guest list. His parents had promised us $5000 to spend on the wedding or to keep, because that's what they gave H's sisters. in the end they gave us $500 for the rehearsal dinner (we did burgers and hot dogs and my mom did most the organizing).

brij2006 · March 2016

formerlyGDaisy09 said:

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse My dad offered that same thing. Young and dumb, right? We NEEDED the big wedding.

How many people did you guys have?

What's crazy is while 300 is on the bigger side, it's definitely not huge for southern weddings. I've been to quite a few weddings with upwards of 500 people.

I only realized how stupid it was after we had fully committed to it and invitations had gone out. When we were doing the table charts, I realized H and I were trying to place a bunch of people at tables whom we had never met before. Not just dates, but people we had actually invited whom we had never met.

@hoffse Our invite list was 550 people. We had 380 guests in attendance.
Our wedding was a wonderful time, beautiful, and I do not regret having it. But I do wish we would have only spent $5k instead and done a simple wedding at the church with a bbq outside at the farm. Minimal decorations, simple food, etc.
The only plus side was that out of those 380 guests, we ended up with about 75 of our closest family and friends who stayed the entire time and spent the night at the hotel. We had a blast and still talk about how great of a party it was. But an expensive party that we could have done so much more with. If I could do it all over again, just those people would have been invited and it would have been something simple anyways. My MIL invited every single person she ever knew and it just got out of hand. Then if you invite great uncles on this side, you should invite them on all sides (H's parents are divorced). So we had even extra people invited that didn't need to be.

I will say though, now that my brother is gone, we do appreciate having those pictures and video with him. I find myself watching our wedding video often, just so I can hear his voice and our interactions with each other. So I am thankful we spent good money in the right areas.

My MIL tried to invite every single person she knew and distant relatives H had never met; at one point we had more than 300 on our guest list (our final invite count was 125 and we had 115 at the wedding). we had to put our foot down and make a rule that if we didn't know the people, or if H couldn't tell me how they were related, they didn't get an invite. It would have been much different if H's parents had contributed to the wedding, but since my parents and H and I were footing the bill we had to trim the guest list. His parents had promised us $5000 to spend on the wedding or to keep, because that's what they gave H's sisters. in the end they gave us $500 for the rehearsal dinner (we did burgers and hot dogs and my mom did most the organizing).

That was pretty much my IL's. They paid the $300 bill for the rehearsal dinner at a pizza buffet and that was it. Yet felt like they needed to invite a ton of people. SMIL invited a ton of people we didn't know either. It was just a battle we weren't willing to fight. None of them showed anyways, so we were good with that. But we did joke that they probably received the invite and had no clue who these people were. Which I know happened.

hoffse · March 2016

Yeah our guestlist ballooned quickly, and we assumed most of our extended family wouldn't come. Turns out we were wrong - we had people fly in from Belgium, Hong Kong, California, and North Dakota to go to a wedding in middle-of-nowhere GA. It was great to see them, but it completely blindsided us.

We also had huge issues with transportation, because we were 2 hours from the nearest international airport. My inlaws ended up renting this ginormous van we dubbed the "Belgian Bus," and they drove the foreign relatives around the civil war battlefields near my parents' house to entertain them. Turns out Europeans know a lot about the American civil war, and they were all very interested to visit those places. Who knew?

It ended up working out fine, but figuring out the logistics was crazy.

On the bright side, we had ice cream and chocolate sauce with our cake. One of the Belgian relatives told my mom it was the best chocolate sauce she had ever had. I think that was my mom's proudest moment of the day, (outside of the getting married part) lol.

formerlyGDaisy09 · March 2016

brij2006 said:

formerlyGDaisy09 said:

brij2006 said:

hoffse said:

brij2006 said:

@hoffse My dad offered that same thing. Young and dumb, right? We NEEDED the big wedding.

How many people did you guys have?

What's crazy is while 300 is on the bigger side, it's definitely not huge for southern weddings. I've been to quite a few weddings with upwards of 500 people.

I only realized how stupid it was after we had fully committed to it and invitations had gone out. When we were doing the table charts, I realized H and I were trying to place a bunch of people at tables whom we had never met before. Not just dates, but people we had actually invited whom we had never met.

@hoffse Our invite list was 550 people. We had 380 guests in attendance.
Our wedding was a wonderful time, beautiful, and I do not regret having it. But I do wish we would have only spent $5k instead and done a simple wedding at the church with a bbq outside at the farm. Minimal decorations, simple food, etc.
The only plus side was that out of those 380 guests, we ended up with about 75 of our closest family and friends who stayed the entire time and spent the night at the hotel. We had a blast and still talk about how great of a party it was. But an expensive party that we could have done so much more with. If I could do it all over again, just those people would have been invited and it would have been something simple anyways. My MIL invited every single person she ever knew and it just got out of hand. Then if you invite great uncles on this side, you should invite them on all sides (H's parents are divorced). So we had even extra people invited that didn't need to be.

I will say though, now that my brother is gone, we do appreciate having those pictures and video with him. I find myself watching our wedding video often, just so I can hear his voice and our interactions with each other. So I am thankful we spent good money in the right areas.

My MIL tried to invite every single person she knew and distant relatives H had never met; at one point we had more than 300 on our guest list (our final invite count was 125 and we had 115 at the wedding). we had to put our foot down and make a rule that if we didn't know the people, or if H couldn't tell me how they were related, they didn't get an invite. It would have been much different if H's parents had contributed to the wedding, but since my parents and H and I were footing the bill we had to trim the guest list. His parents had promised us $5000 to spend on the wedding or to keep, because that's what they gave H's sisters. in the end they gave us $500 for the rehearsal dinner (we did burgers and hot dogs and my mom did most the organizing).

That was pretty much my IL's. They paid the $300 bill for the rehearsal dinner at a pizza buffet and that was it. Yet felt like they needed to invite a ton of people. SMIL invited a ton of people we didn't know either. It was just a battle we weren't willing to fight. None of them showed anyways, so we were good with that. But we did joke that they probably received the invite and had no clue who these people were. Which I know happened.

as it was we were inviting so much of their family that H wasn't close with that I had several close friends that did not get invited, so the fact that we both also had to cut friends from the guest list was good motivation for standing up to MIL (H and I invited a total of 25 friends to the wedding, the other 90 guests were family and friends of my parents...my parents paid the bulk of the bill so had major say in the guest list).

There are many reasons I don't get along with my ILs. their behavior at and leading up to our wedding is only part of it. MIL scheduled carpal tunnel surgery for 3 days before our wedding many of H's family photos never got printed because no one is smiling and MIL's giant bandaged hand is front and center in any of the otherwise good ones.

vlagrl29 · March 2016

We are playing a wedding in May with a 380 guest list! Holy cow I don't even know that many people. I was happy with our intimate wedding with around 70 guests.

JoanE2012 · March 2016

DH and I have small families - we invited 140 and after a last minute date change due to hurricane Sandy, we ended up with just over 100 in attendance. I couldn't imagine having a couple (or several!) hundred people.

short+sassy · March 2016

JoanE2012 said:

DH and I have small families - we invited 140 and after a last minute date change due to hurricane Sandy, we ended up with just over 100 in attendance. I couldn't imagine having a couple (or several!) hundred people.

Wow! Talk about stressful. I'm glad to hear Hurricane Sandy only tweaked your wedding plans and didn't completely ruin them.

There was a neat story after Hurricane Katrina about a couple who were supposed to have gotten married the Saturday before it hit, but had to call off their plans. They ended up in an evacuation shelter in Baton Rouge. When their story went out over the local news in BR, wedding vendors from all of the city volunteered their services to throw this couple the wedding and reception they'd had to postpone.

I am always such a big sucker for those kind of "feel good" stories where every day people and mom/pop businesses band together to help others out.

orangehills · March 2016

Dang you guys had big weddings! We had 25 people at ours, including us.. just our parents/siblings and a few of our closest friends. We had a ceremony at a little chapel in our church, then dinner and cake at a nearby nicer restaurant in their private room! Crazy though that it still cost about $7000 since photog/dress/flowers and food are still pricey. But my mom had given me $10000 so I used under the amount, and she paid for our mini-moon to Disneyland as well, so we walked away not spending any of our own money for the wedding/honeymoon, so that was nice! There were some hurt feelings of people not being able to come, but it was either a small wedding, or spend like 15k on one with the bigger guest list!

als1982 · March 2016

We sent 250 or so invitations and had about 180 guests. We skipped lots of the traditional stuff (tosses, cake cutting, first dances, etc.) and big wedding party, with only 1 bridesmaid and 3 groomsmen, no readers, flower girl, ringer bearer, etc., but still threw a 50+ person rehearsal dinner plus bunch the day after. We had exactly a year to plan, so it was pretty much stress free. My mom paid the bulk of the bill and her only request was that we not serve sliders and a macaroni and cheese bar.

H's family wanted to include every second uncle twice removed, but we firmly but politely said heck no. My only regret was not spending the extra $500 to get the dress cut I wanted (they had a-line and mermaid in my dress style and I went with the cheaper option) and paying more for stations instead of just doing a buffet (because they are essentially the same thing!)

short+sassy · March 2016

orangehills said:

Dang you guys had big weddings! We had 25 people at ours, including us.. just our parents/siblings and a few of our closest friends. We had a ceremony at a little chapel in our church, then dinner and cake at a nearby nicer restaurant in their private room! Crazy though that it still cost about $7000 since photog/dress/flowers and food are still pricey. But my mom had given me $10000 so I used under the amount, and she paid for our mini-moon to Disneyland as well, so we walked away not spending any of our own money for the wedding/honeymoon, so that was nice! There were some hurt feelings of people not being able to come, but it was either a small wedding, or spend like 15k on one with the bigger guest list!

My "office roommate" is getting married in September of this year and he was telling me they've invited over 250 people...and he still has friends he is worried are going to be hurt they are not being invited. Just their engagement party was over 100 people, lol. I seriously couldn't imagine an engagement party that big.

His fiancé's parents are paying for everything. I get the impression they are "pillars of the community with lots of business contacts" type of people and that is part of why the wedding is so big. Not saying that in a "side-eye" way. But I think sometimes that is where weddings can start to really balloon up.

GTKY and other money randoms!

Re: GTKY and other money randoms!

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