Not MM related - talk me down from the ledge.

als1982 · August 2016

Today I received a Facebook invitation from H's second cousin's 15 year old girlfriend to a baby shower she is hosting for herself.

I. just. can't. even.

Am I terrible if I don't go?

LillibetteV · August 2016

I'm sorry but I almost spit out my wine laughing. No. You most definitely do not have to go lol. I wouldn't.

jtmh2012 · August 2016

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

als1982 · August 2016

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

jtmh2012 · August 2016

If you've never really had a conversation and your husband had to be reminded of her name, I'd skip and not feel bad about it.

vlagrl35 · August 2016

yeah if you aren't really a friend of hers I would skip

bparkhur · August 2016

If it were me, I'd go. These kids are going to have a difficult enough time as it is...why not show family support regardless of whether or not you are close (assuming they live locally, and it wouldn't be too much trouble to attend)?

LillibetteV · August 2016

als1982 said:

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

You take care of you! I wouldn't go because throwing your own shower is incredibly tacky, but struggling with infertility is also a totally valid reason ESPECIALLY if she isn't someone you are close to. If you feel guilty skipping it just ship her a gift.

formerlyjessica490 · August 2016

OMG, no lol

short+sassy · August 2016

LillibetteV said:

als1982 said:

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

You take care of you! I wouldn't go because throwing your own shower is incredibly tacky, but struggling with infertility is also a totally valid reason ESPECIALLY if she isn't someone you are close to. If you feel guilty skipping it just ship her a gift.

While this is true, I'll give a lot of latitude in the etiquette department to a pregnant 15-year-old kid. I feel sad for any young person in that situation.

If it were me, I probably wouldn't actually go to the shower since we aren't close. I wouldn't feel obligated to give a gift either, but I would out of a sense of charity. Either items off her registry or possibly just cash. Though, I'd be a bit hesitant to give a teenager cash.

No offense to the teenagers out there, but they just aren't fully cooked yet and don't necessarily make smart decisions with money. Totally fine if it's a birthday gift, but not so much when she's about to have a child that she is not ready for. Heck, I think most adults are too reckless with money.

julieanne912 · August 2016

short+sassy said:

LillibetteV said:

als1982 said:

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

You take care of you! I wouldn't go because throwing your own shower is incredibly tacky, but struggling with infertility is also a totally valid reason ESPECIALLY if she isn't someone you are close to. If you feel guilty skipping it just ship her a gift.

While this is true, I'll give a lot of latitude in the etiquette department to a pregnant 15-year-old kid. I feel sad for any young person in that situation.
If it were me, I probably wouldn't actually go to the shower since we aren't close. I wouldn't feel obligated to give a gift either, but I would out of a sense of charity. Either items off her registry or possibly just cash. Though, I'd be a bit hesitant to give a teenager cash.
No offense to the teenagers out there, but they just aren't fully cooked yet and don't necessarily make smart decisions with money. Totally fine if it's a birthday gift, but not so much when she's about to have a child that she is not ready for. Heck, I think most adults are too reckless with money.

Agreed 100% with this. I'd probably send a box of diapers or some onesies or something basic off Amazon and call it a day.

hoffse · August 2016

short+sassy said:

LillibetteV said:

als1982 said:

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

You take care of you! I wouldn't go because throwing your own shower is incredibly tacky, but struggling with infertility is also a totally valid reason ESPECIALLY if she isn't someone you are close to. If you feel guilty skipping it just ship her a gift.

While this is true, I'll give a lot of latitude in the etiquette department to a pregnant 15-year-old kid. I feel sad for any young person in that situation.
If it were me, I probably wouldn't actually go to the shower since we aren't close. I wouldn't feel obligated to give a gift either, but I would out of a sense of charity. Either items off her registry or possibly just cash. Though, I'd be a bit hesitant to give a teenager cash.
No offense to the teenagers out there, but they just aren't fully cooked yet and don't necessarily make smart decisions with money. Totally fine if it's a birthday gift, but not so much when she's about to have a child that she is not ready for. Heck, I think most adults are too reckless with money.

I agree with this also. She's just a kid. She probably can't even drive yet.

No need to attend the shower, but maybe send her some practical things that she will need (diapers, wipes, basic onesie's, etc.).

I don't think I would send her cash, though. No telling what she will do with it.

als1982 · August 2016

short+sassy said:

LillibetteV said:

als1982 said:

jtmh2012 said:

Second cousin? Do you even normally associate with her/him?

She's at family events but we've never had a conversation and H had to be reminded of her name. I should probably go, but I just can't emotionally deal.

You take care of you! I wouldn't go because throwing your own shower is incredibly tacky, but struggling with infertility is also a totally valid reason ESPECIALLY if she isn't someone you are close to. If you feel guilty skipping it just ship her a gift.

While this is true, I'll give a lot of latitude in the etiquette department to a pregnant 15-year-old kid. I feel sad for any young person in that situation.
If it were me, I probably wouldn't actually go to the shower since we aren't close. I wouldn't feel obligated to give a gift either, but I would out of a sense of charity. Either items off her registry or possibly just cash. Though, I'd be a bit hesitant to give a teenager cash.
No offense to the teenagers out there, but they just aren't fully cooked yet and don't necessarily make smart decisions with money. Totally fine if it's a birthday gift, but not so much when she's about to have a child that she is not ready for. Heck, I think most adults are too reckless with money.

Agree. I was planning on sending a Costco size box of diapers and wipes with my MIL if I don't go. I just really don't feel like I can hold it together emotionally if I went. I appreciate knowing from others that it's okay to skip!

julieanne912 · August 2016

Remember, invitations are not a summons. You don't have to go to anything you don't want to go to

Not MM related - talk me down from the ledge.

Re: Not MM related - talk me down from the ledge.

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