Help me with a budget for this

hoffse · October 2016

I have asked this before, but...

H and I are TTC. No idea how long it will take. However, it looks like H and I will both be up for year-end bonuses this year. We have no pressing need for that money right now, so our tentative plan is to use it for a "baby fund" just so we have that knocked out, and it's one less thing to worry about. If it takes a long time for us to get pregnant, we can reassess what we do with that money later.

Bonuses usually happen for both of us right after Thanksgiving, so now I am trying to do some research/budgeting to work out how much we should aim to save. Here are a few things we know:

OOP Max: $5500
Daycare registration fees: avg. $400 based on several I have awkwardly/anonymously called lol
Furniture/gear: ?
529: $1,000 to kick-start it

Our OOP max could be fully covered by the money in my HSA, but H wants to try to save for it separately so that the HSA remains intact in case of an emergency. That being said, the OOP max portion will actually be the last thing we will fund on this list because we do have that money stored elsewhere.

It's the furniture/gear I am really struggling with. I will probably estimate the highest amount I can find for car seats (and then plan to do the research later), but I will set a more reasonable budget for everything else. We have a spare room that will be turned into a nursery so the standard furniture, etc. will be a go. However, I don't want to be inundated with huge plastic crap that is fairly pointless, nor do I want to spend hundreds on things that may be less important for us than other families (ie: the huge stroller that barely fits in the car when realistically H and I tend to drive everywhere).

Help?

hoffse · October 2016

Forgot to add: I'm an only child, and my mother has been begging for a grandbaby for the last 3 years, so I do think we will get some help from that direction.

My office always does a shower for first-time parents... and they way they do it is they simply collect money and then one person goes to buybuybaby and buys directly from the registry. This is how the last 8 office showers were arranged.

Also, our baby niece just turned 1 month old, and my BIL/SIL got all sorts of short-term-use baby crap that I'm sure we could borrow. I see no reason to spend $200 on a bassinet when they already own one that niece will outgrow in a couple months.

So while I think we won't need to buy much, I would like to set aside enough money to buy everything that's really essential. Then hopefully we will be happily surprised.

Anything we don't spend will go toward the 529.

smerka · October 2016

My advice is don't spend a lot on a crib. There is a good chance it will get chewed on. They sell cribs that convert all the way to a full size headboard and I feel bad for people who buy those and then the baby puts teeth marks on it. We got our cribs at IKEA and spent around $100. They lasted through the toddler bed stage. Because of safety updates, it is kind of silly to think you'll be passing down the crib to your grandkids.

smerka · October 2016

And for pretty much all the equipment except car seats and cribs, buy used. You will need somewhere to put baby when you need both hands - bouncy seat, swing, rock n play, pack and play. But you only use those (except the pack n play) for about six months

smerka · October 2016

Bedding - you just need crib sheets and mattress pads. Do not buy the set because you can't use the comforter and bumpers are frowned upon - even the mesh ones. But you will need some wearable blankets or sleep sacks. The number you'll need depends on how often you do laundry.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Well, I can tell you what our baby budget looks like, but since the kid's still cooking I can't tell you how it worked out yet

Healthcare: We had our family OOP max ready to go, but when the year reset in July it doubled from $5,000 to $10,000. We won't have time to have that fully saved, plus an e-fund. I've mentioned this a few times and I don't want threadjack by bringing it up again, but I think it's possible we won't hit $10,000 for a healthy delivery since we have no coinsurance after our $900 deductible is hit, just copays for prescription drugs, doctor visits, and hospital admissions. Basically, that's a big question mark for us.

Gear: We share a lot of your priorities about minimizing very large items and plasticy items! Here's what we decided on:

Furniture: We bought the nursery furniture we needed from IKEA. We wanted a small footprint and didn't need a convertible crib since we still have my childhood twin beds. We did get a changing table, which many people skip, since Grandmas will be helping with child care. We're using a hand me down dresser and rocking chair that don't match at all. Our son will forgive us. We didn't paint a room (we already had a yellow one!) and are re-purposing nature artwork we already have for a nature-themed nursery. Total price: $275ish (one of the pricier crib mattresses)

Car seat: I didn't want to compromise on safety for price, but as I researched I learned that I didn't need to. We'll get the Chicco Keyfit "Zip", probably on Black Friday. This seat is supposed to work well on planes, which was a priority for us. Total price: $200 minus any sales.

Strollers: I did a LOT of research here. I decided to go with a nice, lightweight jogging stroller (Thule urban glide) and a snap and go for the carseat, no pram or travel system. The combo of the two should get us through toddlerhood, and I plan to actually run with the jogger or I might have gone a different way. It sounds like a more budget stroller might make more sense for you. Both have already been gifted, and both will have resale value. Total price new, no sales: $500 ($400 jogger, $100 snap 'n go) but these are great items to buy used.

Clothes: You'll be gifted a lot of clothes, especially if it's a girl, but you'll probably be tempted to buy some too. Just know that Carter's is ALWAYS having crazy sales, so you don't need to pounce on each one you see.

Early sleeping: We are skipping a pack 'n play since it won't fit in our room. We're getting a Finnish-style baby box to put next to the bed, some of which come with other accessories. I love the safety record, but it's not the most MM choice. Price: TBD, varies by brand.

Play, etc.: We are only getting a bouncer, not a swing, to start. They have a much smaller footprint. If the bouncer doesn't work for our kid, we'll go get a swing at that point. Total price: $40, was already gifted.

Diapers: We will be cloth diapering using prefolds and covers, one of the lower-priced options. H is on-board but insisted we only buy new. Newborn stash (will last around three months) should max out around $250, and we also expect our water and sewer bills to go up as much as $30/month.

Feeding: We will breastfeed if possible. A nice pump is covered by insurance. Bottles we'll spend about $60 on pre-birth to see which brand works best, and then stock up before my maternity leave ends.

High chair: We went with a nicer one here, but it has been gifted. Total price $125, but can be much lower.

Other odds and ends (swaddle blankets, little toys, etc.) we're not really budgeting for and will cash flow a bit week to week.

Childcare: We received an unexpected offer of Grandma care, which will cost us around $300 a month with giving them some gas money, paying for a house cleaner for MIL, maybe getting them cable, etc. We want to be prepared to pay for a center if that doesn't work out, however, which will be $1,000-$1,200 at the infant stage, FT.

529: We may not be able to start with a big nest egg like you are (depending on the medical bills) but plan to put something in there each paycheck, even if it's only $20. We'll also put any financial gifts that are "for the baby" in here until they're old enough to have an opinion about them.

hoffse · October 2016

Thanks, this is really helpful.

The room we are probably going to use is already green. We have a lazy boy from circa-1980 that is old and ugly and the most comfortable chair ever - I have slept in it many times when H has snored too loudly, lol. We are going to get a $30 slipcover for it and use that since I know I can sleep in it already.

We are thinking IKEA for the dresser and crib. Amazon also has some sub-$200 cribs we like. I have no idea about a mattress. Apparently they now make a mattress that you can literally breathe through, and they advertise that it helps prevent SIDS. So obviously that sounds compelling, except it's $300, and I have no idea if that's just really clever marketing or something that really works. Blah.

I don't jog, but we have a very steep driveway, and we will have to roll a stroller down it in order to get to the sidewalks in our neighborhood. H thinks our driveway necessitates a stroller with air-filled wheels. I don't really know, but I have no experience with this. What do you think?

H also wants to start with convertible seats. It will cost more upfront, but should save us money in the long run. I kind of think he's crazy for suggesting it, but I admit I am waffling on it. H and I can tag-team 16 weeks of leave between us, so by the time we are really using our car with baby every day, they will certainly be old enough for a convertible seat.

My insurance only covers a hand pump, so we will need to buy a real one.

I'm very happy to spend the money if it makes sense - I just don't want to be stupid about it, and I can feel the marketing working on me already .

LillibetteV · October 2016

Every since we started TTC we have been "paying" daycare costs to our savings account so we will be used to the expense when if/when it finally comes along. Although we did say "screw this I'm sick of TTC" and run off to Europe in the spring and spent some of that savings (it was good for our mental health and we regret nothing lol).

Otherwise we are cash-flowing all of our IVF co-pays and plan to continue to do so once I'm pregnant. Our emergency fund is more than our family OOP maximum so we aren't saving that separately. We are well-covered by insurance so something would really need to go wrong for us to have to tap that which is why I consider it an emergency more than a baby budget item.

I agree with PP on cribs - they get chewed and safety standards are always changing so we plan to spend $300 or less. The only things I plan to buy new are the crib, carseat, and feeding/diapering items - everything else will be used. Everything made for babies is designed to be washed/hosed down and they use each item for a minute before outgrowing it! I joke to my best friend whenever she protests that I buy her daughter new stuff that's a little expensive that I'm just investing in my hand-me-downs.

College savings we intend to save for, but I'm not 100% sold on a 529 plan as the best way to do it. Just because DH and I both went to top tier schools doesn't mean our kid will want to follow our footsteps. If he wants to join the military, become a tradesman, or go to medical school I don't want to influence those decisions too much because we have a ton of money in a special college savings account that we'll get penalized for using if he doesn't go to Harvard. We will probably do a small 529 and save the balance in another vehicle should it be needed.

smerka · October 2016

I am very doubtful of the breathable mattress. A blanket can suffocate a baby. As long as your driveway is paved, it doesn't require air filled wheels, but they are nice. Unless you have a preemie, a baby can go home in the convertible seat. But I will say the infant seat is nice to not have to wake the baby when you get out of the car. Do not open your breast pump until you are sure breastfeeding is going to work out. If it is unopened, you can return it. Rent one from the hospital for the first couple weeks. The hospital pumps are heavy duty and are the best for new moms (that's what I've heard. Breastfeeding did not work out for me).

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Keep in mind that with a convertible seat from Day 1, you're losing the option of taking a sleeping baby out of your car and bringing her into a restaurant, store, or whatever without disturbing her. Maybe that's ok with you! For us, we decided that it wasn't. I think many who go that route are really into baby wearing, so that's something to look into. I do hope to get an Ergo or Tula carrier, which run $120-$150ish, but it's not an essential so I didn't list it out.

hoffse · October 2016

@lillebitte, I think we are going to do a 529 up to the cost of in-state public school (Alabama/Auburn). We simply want to get some seed money in there early so that it lowers how much we have to save from month to month to hit that figure once our costs really increase with family health insurance and day care.

There are lots of things the 529 qualifies for (including vocational schools and graduate school), and you are allowed to withdraw that money penalty-free if the kid gets a scholarship. We also get a tax break on our state taxes for contributions. So we are going to use the 529 in some capacity.

That being said, I do agree that you have to find the amount that makes the most sense. It's silly to tie up our money assuming our kid will go to an elite private school. Alabama and Auburn are really cheap for in-state students. Tuition is only like $10K/year currently.

If I had a crystal ball to know what it's going to cost in 20 years I would consider not saving at all and just cash-flowing it. Currently, college tuition at those schools costs less than daycare.

EDIT: I also really like the idea of "paying" day care into our savings account so that we are used to it. It's about $950/month for us. Sigh.

LillibetteV · October 2016

@hoffse that's probably our plan too - UMass is about $14k a year right now so I'll use that as a gauge. My quick research shows we'll be able to deduct up to $2k in contributions each year so that will be something.

And I hear you on the daycare. For 4 days it will cost us about $390/week (assuming the rates don't skyrocket on us anytime soon). At least my husband will be able to do a condensed work week when the time comes so we aren't paying for 5 full days. But it's still basically a second mortgage payment!

ebl2016 · October 2016

Regarding strollers, I bought a Mcclaren 10 years ago, and it is still my favorite stroller. My only regret is that I bought the least expensive & least baby friendly model. Do spend money on baby items that will grow with the child - like a stroller that fits a 7 year old. If you have the 1st grandchild, you probably won't have to buy clothes for a while.

brij2006 · October 2016

I'll give you based on what we experienced with DD. Keep in mind I'm incredibly frugal in this department.

My max OOP at the time was $5,000. We met it with a natural med-free delivery with zero complications. So I would definitely plan to meet it. My pregnancy also stemmed across 2 calendar years. So I had 2, $1,000 deductibles to meet plus 2, $5k max OOP's. My overall cost (pregnant May-Feb) was $6,500.
Now BCBS told me that DD would be under my deductible and max OOP for up to 2 days at the hospital. That was a crock of shit. So I was billed $1,000 for her deductible plus the 80/20 above that. Her bill was $1,300 but it was still unexpected. I called and fought it but lost. So total cost for both of us was $7,800.

As for the "stuff" here's what we did. I registered for the things I needed, not just wanted. So swing, bouncer, rock n play, crib sheets, breathable bumpers, changing pad, swaddles, sleep sacks, bottles, diaper bag, stroller/car seat, etc.
We ended up purchasing the car seat and stroller ourselves. It is the Chicco brand and we absolutely love it. Chicco Bravo Trio system. Look it up. Small, can take all the "guts" out of the stroller for it to be just a frame with the car seat, and the seat has rave reviews and safety specs. That cost us $300 after coupons and discounts. We opted not to buy a 2nd base since I do majority of daycare pickup and drop off. The base is also super easy to install so we'd just move it over that once a month H needed to pick her up.
Anything I did not receive at the shower I purchased used.
Her crib was actually purchased 2nd hand for $25. I asked the person selling it what the exact brand was and looked it up with "recall" to see if there were any. Nothing came up so I did some more research on the brand itself and it was a decent one for the price. I'm soooooo glad we did this. DD has chewed her crib on every single spot possible. I'm ashamed to use it for #2 but we will. I am so glad we didn't spend $300 on a brand new crib with the intentions to convert it to her full size bed. There's no way it would have looked nice enough to do that.
I also got the word out to family that I was looking for a cheap used changing table and rocking chair. H's cousin actually gave us their old glider and it's in perfect shape. Then his other cousin sold us their changing table and pad for $20.
We'll buy her better quality items as she gets older and we know how many kids we're having, if they're sharing a room, and what will fit in the house we're in for the long haul

My #1 biggest money saving tip though. Be team green and don't find out the sex. I can't tell you how much I saved by not knowing what we were having. It forced me to only buy the few clothing items I needed right at the beginning, all of our staple items are neutral, and once she was born I received tons of clothes because people knew I only had neutral stuff. It also kept me from shopping the clearance section and buying clothes while I was pregnant.

brij2006 · October 2016

As for the mattress: There's one that Target carries that one side is for infant (firm) and the other side is for toddler (a bit softer). I believe the price point is $100. The breathable one you're talking about may be great but I'd say it's a marketing gimmick at this point. And really at the point your child is rolling over to sleep on their stomach, they can roll back to sleep on their back or have the ability to turn their head to the side to not affect their breathing. DD was a stomach sleeper the minute she could roll over at 3/4 months, but at that point she also had the head control to turn her head to the side and not face plant into the mattress.

Stroller with air tires: I wouldn't worry about it with having a steep sidewalk. The tires won't make a difference. Also, for the usual outing the ones with air tires can be very cumbersome. We have the Chicco Bravo stroller I posted about above and it's amazing for out and about, in stores, tight spaces, etc. However, I do have a Jeep stroller with aired tires that I use for jogging and all-terrain walks. It is very large and heavy though and it primarily stays in our garage.

Convertible seats: In theory it makes sense to start with one instead of the infant seat. However, once you have that baby you will quickly realize how much of a PITA it is. DD is insanely long and was in the convertible seat by 4 months. However, at that point she wasn't sitting up on her own. So grocery shopping was a pain. She would fall asleep in the car then I'd have to take her out and stuff blankets in the cart seat and lay her down in it or wear her. Which at that point she was completely awake and mad because I woke her so I'd have a crying baby through the store. If I could have used the infant seat for longer then I could have just taken the seat out and put it into the cart without waking her. I pray this next one isn't as tall as her and doesn't outgrow the infant seat so quickly, because that was so convenient to use and was a convenience worth having.

hoffse · October 2016

OK good point about the mattress and the kid being able to roll back once they can roll over... see, this is the kind of logical talk I need, lol.

I'm going to work on H regarding the infant seat. I agree it sounds soooo much easier. I think he's afraid we're just going to get lazy and leave him/her in the seat all the time, but perhaps I can convince him that for short errands it's really helpful at that young age, especially when I am home by myself for a few months. I think a compromise could be the infant seat for my car and a convertible seat for his car. That way his car has a seat when we need it, but the car we would use the most when they are very tiny has the pop out seat.

Once I am back working I think the pick-up/drop-off will probably be 50/50 between us, so we will need two seats.

If the air tires are unnecessary for a stroller, then that should help a lot. We really do not jog at all, and I think most of our stroller use would be at the zoo or botanical gardens. I checked out the Chicco Bravo, and it looks like a great option for a "full-sized" stroller. I want something compact enough for our car, but still full-featured for longer days out. The stroller is just one of those things that I don't see us using all that often, so I don't want to drop a ton of $$ on it.

brij2006 · October 2016

Definitely go check out the stroller in person. It's so much more compact than it looks online. We fit it in the trunk of the Mustang with plenty of room to spare, if that helps at all. ;-)

Yeah the car seat thing I would still push hard on. We did put a convertible seat in H's car once I started back to work, but it was still a bit of a pain because I would have to take her out of the infant seat to bring her into daycare so I wasn't leaving that seat there. And at that point it was cold out, which the infant seat is 10x easier to keep them bundled up in. Once they hit convertible seats it's constant coats on, coats off, because of safety. The longer you can have them in the infant seat, the easier your life will be.

Feel free to ask any questions. This is all stuff I wished I had someone to toss ideas by or ask if things were worth the money or not.

brij2006 · October 2016

Adding, not sure if you fully know this. But the infant seat you will only need 1 seat and then an extra base to put in your H's car. I have yet to hear of a daycare that doesn't allow you to leave the infant seat there during the day. So if you drop off and your H picks up, he just needs the base in his car to be able to click the seat into.

LillibetteV · October 2016

maybe I'm missing something - but did all of you hit your OOP max by giving birth? My understanding was that after I hit the deductible I only will have co-pays until I hit my OOP max. Our deductible is $900 and the OOP max is $10k. The inpatient copay is about $250. Am I missing something?!

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

LillibetteV said:

maybe I'm missing something - but did all of you hit your OOP max by giving birth? My understanding was that after I hit the deductible I only will have co-pays until I hit my OOP max. Our deductible is $900 and the OOP max is $10k. The inpatient copay is about $250. Am I missing something?!

@LillibetteV I think it's possible we have the same insurance! Those numbers are too similar to be a coincidence, and our insurance originates in MA. Tufts Navigator? If so, I'll definitely let you know how it shakes out.

I'm thinking we'll hit the $900 family deductible, a $500 hospital copay for me (I'm at a Tier 2), a $500 hospital copay for the LO, and then maybe some drug charges. Maybe another $500 "surgery" copay if I end up with a CS, but it might stack with the inpatient maternity copay. If I'm reading things right, that's all we should owe with this plan. I think plans like mine/ours where there is no coinsurance after the deductible is hit are highly unusual. I keep thinking there must be a catch somewhere.

cbee817 · October 2016

The city mini stroller was the greatest thing we ever bought! Get the adapter to fit the car seat when they're infants- you can easily reuse for #2. Get bases for both cars, 1 infant carrier. Don't worry about a bigger car seat until they're about a year old. Get a nice crib and covers for the tops so they don't chew on the wood. Our crib and mattress lasted through 2 kids and we gave it to my cousin for her little one. Get a pump after you've been on maternity leave for a few weeks and breast feeding is something you want to commit to. It's too much $ to spend if breastfeeding ends up being a disaster. I used my pump with both girls too so it was well worth the investment. My girls loved their swing- we burned through 2 motors, but some babies hate them. Wait to see what your baby likes- saves a lot of $. We changed their diapers on a pad on the ground- never had to worry about them rolling off or wasting money on a changing table. We bought a rocker, which ended up being a waste of money. Both girls did not like being rocked by people. The biggest thing I regret not spending money on is maternity and baby pictures- we took a ton ourselves, but those professional ones are amazing and if I could go back, I would definitely do it for both pregnancies. Your budget changes when the baby comes- all of a sudden, fun money or date money becomes diaper money... just the way it is for the first year or so. Day care is huge- our total in for 2 kids (and not even full time in the beginning, my mom watched them 2 days a week) will be over $83,000. We set up their 529 plans 2 years ago with $5,000 each and now we split $350/month into their accounts. The plan is to cover a public state school for them.
They're the best little things in the world- it'll blow your mind how much you can love someone that you don't even know yet.. it's an unbelievable feeling.

LillibetteV · October 2016

Xstatic3333 said:

LillibetteV said:

maybe I'm missing something - but did all of you hit your OOP max by giving birth? My understanding was that after I hit the deductible I only will have co-pays until I hit my OOP max. Our deductible is $900 and the OOP max is $10k. The inpatient copay is about $250. Am I missing something?!

@LillibetteV I think it's possible we have the same insurance! Those numbers are too similar to be a coincidence, and our insurance originates in MA. Tufts Navigator? If so, I'll definitely let you know how it shakes out.

I'm thinking we'll hit the $900 family deductible, a $500 hospital copay for me (I'm at a Tier 2), a $500 hospital copay for the LO, and then maybe some drug charges. Maybe another $500 "surgery" copay if I end up with a CS, but it might stack with the inpatient maternity copay. If I'm reading things right, that's all we should owe with this plan. I think plans like mine/ours where there is no coinsurance after the deductible is hit are highly unusual. I keep thinking there must be a catch somewhere.

I just triple checked mine (Neighborhood Health Plan) and it gave an example of a vaginal delivery - $300 deductible, $340 in copays ($275 for in-patient and the rest I'm assuming is Rx? not sure) and then it said the patient's out of pocket is $640. There is $0 co-insurance. Although our portion of the premiums are about $315/month so maybe higher premium = lower costs down the road? We specifically didn't pick the absolutely cheapest premium plan since we planned to be using it a lot this year hahahaha.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

LillibetteV said:

Xstatic3333 said:

LillibetteV said:

maybe I'm missing something - but did all of you hit your OOP max by giving birth? My understanding was that after I hit the deductible I only will have co-pays until I hit my OOP max. Our deductible is $900 and the OOP max is $10k. The inpatient copay is about $250. Am I missing something?!

@LillibetteV I think it's possible we have the same insurance! Those numbers are too similar to be a coincidence, and our insurance originates in MA. Tufts Navigator? If so, I'll definitely let you know how it shakes out.

I'm thinking we'll hit the $900 family deductible, a $500 hospital copay for me (I'm at a Tier 2), a $500 hospital copay for the LO, and then maybe some drug charges. Maybe another $500 "surgery" copay if I end up with a CS, but it might stack with the inpatient maternity copay. If I'm reading things right, that's all we should owe with this plan. I think plans like mine/ours where there is no coinsurance after the deductible is hit are highly unusual. I keep thinking there must be a catch somewhere.

I just triple checked mine (Neighborhood Health Plan) and it gave an example of a vaginal delivery - $300 deductible, $340 in copays ($275 for in-patient and the rest I'm assuming is Rx? not sure) and then it said the patient's out of pocket is $640. There is $0 co-insurance. Although our portion of the premiums are about $315/month so maybe higher premium = lower costs down the road? We specifically didn't pick the absolutely cheapest premium plan since we planned to be using it a lot this year hahahaha.

Oh too funny that our numbers are exactly the same on different plans! Ours is definitely not the cheapest option either; we're blocked from most of the cheaper plans by living in RI, but we figured that this year at least it would be worth it. In any case, it sounds like the type of plan is very similar and I am comforted to hear that you're reading it the same way I am.

brij2006 · October 2016

LillibetteV said:

maybe I'm missing something - but did all of you hit your OOP max by giving birth? My understanding was that after I hit the deductible I only will have co-pays until I hit my OOP max. Our deductible is $900 and the OOP max is $10k. The inpatient copay is about $250. Am I missing something?!

I did hit it with mine. My deductible was $1,000 then 80/20 up to $5,000 max OOP. I had $600 maternity hospital stay co-pay, $60 co-pay on ultrasounds (4 of them), and $100 co-pay on NST scans (had 2 at the end since DD liked to not move for hours on end).

Honestly, I was pissed that my labor and delivery was so expensive. I labored at home until 45 minutes before DD was born. No meds, no extra monitoring, DD had nothing extra or special. Yet my bill alone was $17k before insurance.
I've joked with H that this time I'm using the midwives from the Amish community 2 miles out of town and delivering at home. I'm half joking. If the doula or midwife could have done a home delivery I totally would have.
Next time though, I'll bring my own nipple cream instead of paying $25 for the same tube I could have bought for $7, and if things are going well I'll push for the 24 hour release so I only have 1 night stay. Night 2 is pure torture as it is, let alone doing it at the hospital.

Pathetic, but I'm so cheap that I'm beyond ecstatic that this pregnancy is mostly going to be in 1 calendar year. I'll even push our 20 week ultrasound back to 21 weeks so it's done after January 1 and applies to my 2017 max OOP.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Not pathetic at all, @brij2006. It is crazy how the costs add up. BYO nipple cream and stuff like that is a good tip!

My Plan A is a hospital-attached birthing center that will allow you to go home a few hours after birth if you want if everyone is doing well. I'm not sure that's the best idea as a FTM, for me, but I am tempted if only for the potential of saving the $500 copay. I'd prefer a shorter stay in any case. This will be my first hospital stay and I'm definitely a little anxious about it.

smerka · October 2016

I haven't had an infant seat in a long time, but I'm pretty sure you can use the seatbelt to buckle them in (say in DHs car). So you might not need the second infant seat base or he could just use a convertible.

AprilZ81 · October 2016

We got higher end furniture from Wayfair (it was on clearance woohoo!!!). I actually went to a furniture store so I could see it and touch it and open drawers before we bought it. We did a convertible crib and my sister gave us some crib rail protectors for when baby starts teething to help avoid teeth marks. We bought the crib, dresser and nightstand and it is all solid wood so it should (in theory) last until the kid leaves for college.

My sister has had three kids so I have TONS of hand me downs from her, but what I didn't get from her I put on the registry and what wasn't purchased from the registry I was going to try to find gently used first.

Thinks like Rock N Plays, bassinets, etc that are only for infants are outgrown sooooo fast that it is smart to borrow or buy used where you can.

brij2006 · October 2016

@Xstatic3333 The only reason I didn't go home after 24 hours (our hospital gives you the option) is because DD had only nursed once in that period of time. So I felt like the extra night stay at the hospital would still cost less than formula for a year.
However, we live in BFE so having a lactation consultant just come out to the house, wasn't an option.

That's so awesome you have the option of a birthing center. If you're using a doula or midwife, double check to see what all postpartum care they offer. Some will come to the house and help with lactation.
FWIW I felt amazing after having DD and easily could have gone home after a few hours.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Thanks @brij2006! I'm really hoping the birthing center works out, but I am also trying to stay flexible since it only has one bed and it's also pretty easy to "risk out." Either way, I will be with midwives and they've been great so far, and they will allow things like freedom of movement even in the hospital setting unless there is a good reason not to. That's awesome that you felt so great right after birth. The quick recovery is the main reason I'm hoping to go med-free if I can do so safely.

Asking about home visits for lactation and postpartum help is a great idea. I'll definitely do that at my next appointment. I signed up for a breastfeeding class, but there is more information to sort through than I ever imagined and I want to set us up for success if at all possible.

Edit: This made me think of another potential cost for @hoffse, classes and doulas. We registered for:

Breastfeeding class at the hospital: $35
Alternative Birth Center class at the hospital: $100
Hypnobabies home study course: $185

Depending on the type of birth plan you want, your costs could be higher or lower. In my area at least, Bradley method classes are pretty expense ($350). Infant care classes are also offered at my hospital for $75 but we decided to skip that and get a book.

Doulas in my area cost $600-$1,000. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about working with one. We were not going to, primarily due to cost, but just earlier today I received an offer from a colleague to work with us free of charge. She's not a full-time doula, but does a couple of births a year for friends to keep her certification active. I am VERY hopeful that this works out. If it does, I'll budget a couple of hundred for a nice thank you gift.

hoffse · October 2016

@Cbee we will probably do some pro photos if we can work it into the budget. It won't be the top priority, but if we end up not needing to buy much we will likely do it. H and I have heard from a lot of parents that they wished they had budgeted/spent less for gear and more for things like professional photography, a cleaning service, annual zoo membership, etc. Obviously none of those things are "essential," but I can see that they would be very nice to have.

A couple people have mentioned waiting on the pump to make sure BF'ing works first. That's a really good idea and something I had not considered.

I think we will hit our OOP max just because I'm on a high deductible plan, and I do not intend to switch. The numbers for next year haven't been released, but based on the numbers for the current year it's still cheaper for us to use the high deductible plan and hit the OOP max than using one of the PPO's. Now that's not necessarily the case if we don't use the money from our HSA to cover the deductible, but that is something for further discussion. Our tax rate is so high that the HSA contributions actually make a pretty big difference for us.

vlagrl35 · October 2016

We didn't save until we were pregnant - not MM but we were able to save enough in those 9 months to cover my max OOP and baby necessities. Our parents bought us all the big items. Get one of those 3 in 1 cribs - DD is now using it as a full size bed. Honestly our biggest item that we spent was food because I was starving all the time and ate 6 meals a day plus a 4 am snack. Unreal.

Help me with a budget for this

Re: Help me with a budget for this

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