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Moms: How long did your mom stay with you after baby

My mom is trying to decide how long to come in town when the baby comes. I'm not sure how long I want her here.

So....How long did your mom come in town/stay with you? Would you have wanted her with you longer?

Re: Moms: How long did your mom stay with you after baby

  • My mom lives in town. Even with a c-section, I wouldn't want her around more than a week. It depends on your relationship with your mom and your ability to have boundaries with her. 
  • My mom lives nearby and MIL was in town for 5 days but stayed at a hotel. Honestly after the required 4 days post C-Section at the hospital I was ready for it to be just DH and I. But I will say that my DH is really helpful with the baby, housework and cooking.

     I think one week after you get home from the hospital would be enough.

  • My mom works, so she didn't stay, but since my MIL lived out of town, she did.  She stayed for 7 weeks & it was a HUGE help.  By the end of it I was ready for her to go, just so we could create our own routines & I could figure things out by myself w/out help.  She cooked, cleaned, watched DS, all kinds of things.
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  • imagejenn4:
    My mom works, so she didn't stay, but since my MIL lived out of town, she did.  She stayed for 7 weeks & it was a HUGE help.  By the end of it I was ready for her to go, just so we could create our own routines & I could figure things out by myself w/out help.  She cooked, cleaned, watched DS, all kinds of things.

    7 weeks with your MIL?  Bless you!

    My mom was here for 1 week after we came home from the hospital and then my MIL came for the following week.  We live far away (1,000 miles) from our families, so we're used to being independent and we wanted to be alone with our baby.

    That being said, if we have another child, I think I'll want our moms to stay longer - more so to help with Jackson than anything else.

  • imagejenn4:
    My mom works, so she didn't stay, but since my MIL lived out of town, she did.  She stayed for 7 weeks & it was a HUGE help.  By the end of it I was ready for her to go, just so we could create our own routines & I could figure things out by myself w/out help.  She cooked, cleaned, watched DS, all kinds of things.

    7 weeks?!?! I think I would shoot myself if my mom stayed that long.

  • imageCarrie50:

    imagejenn4:
    My mom works, so she didn't stay, but since my MIL lived out of town, she did.  She stayed for 7 weeks & it was a HUGE help.  By the end of it I was ready for her to go, just so we could create our own routines & I could figure things out by myself w/out help.  She cooked, cleaned, watched DS, all kinds of things.

    7 weeks?!?! I think I would shoot myself if my mom stayed that long.

    Yeah that, a lot.  I'm ready to lose it 7 DAYS into their visit.  They live in KS and didn't come down till the kid was 2 or 3 weeks old, and they stayed about a week and a half. 

  • SEVEN WEEKS!?!?! 

    My mom lives in town and never spent the night but of course she was right there...  I think that having a houseguest adds extra pressure so it just depends on the mom.  If she cooks/cleans/does laundry and makes herself at home...great.  If it's like you have a guest at your home...that would get old after about a day.

    Shelby is 7, Coleman is 5!
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  • My parents live in Grapevine & I'm in East Dallas.  My mom is going to come stay as long as I need her to (she is close enough to be able to run home if she needed to).  I'm having a C-Section Thurs & I just don't know what it will be like yet.

    My mom's great, though.  I guess if she was annoying, etc it would be different.  I'm really looking forward to it.

  • Thanks everyone! My mom told me yesterday she's planning on coming out for 2+ weeks. That just sounds like a long time to me - my mom can be helpful but she stresses me out anytime she's in town. I did tell my mom she's not allowed to stay at my house - hoping that will help keep me sane.
  • My mom and MIL both live near us and we never had anyone stay with us at home to help out and honestly, even when they came over it was just to visit with my DH and myself and see the baby. They would help with the baby, but I didn't really have anyone volunteer / offer to clean, cook, etc. nor did I really expect it though. We are pretty independent people though and tend to try to do it all on our own or at least try before asking for too much assistance. My husband was off for a few days after we came home and since I had a c-section, but had complications, I was in the hospital for 6 days and truly didn't have that difficult of a time doing the things I needed to. My DH still covered the cooking in the evenings after he came home from work and did the cleaning and stuff since I couldn't really do anything too active while healing. Now, when we have this baby I could definitely see myself wanting more help if anyone offers since we will also have Hudson to watch after along with a newborn which I am sure will be quite interesting. Wink
  • Wow Sars, it's almost time!  Good luck on Thursday, I'll say a prayer everything goes smoothly.

    Not a mom yet, but DH and I agreed MIL who lives OOT (and is very overbearing) won't be spending any nights in our home, I just don't want overnight guests.  My mother lives close enough to come over during the day and help out, and I'm sure I'll want that, but still no overnight for her either.

  • My mom came for about 2 weeks every weekday and then whenever she felt like it after that.  No overnights stays in our house.  MIL works and lives close, but is no help so she just popped in for visits whenever.  My mom and I are not close so I was ready for her to go, but she was a gigantic help at the same time so I bit my tongue and smiled and thanked her.  :)  DH only had the week off that I was in the hospital and worked long hours at his job and I went home pretty banged up so I needed some help, plus DD was really rough on everyone.  If she wasn't so rough, I wouldn't have needed the help at all.  It really just depends on you, the baby and your relationship with the parents. 

     I agree 7 weeks is WOW - I think I'd lose my mind :)  She was nice to do that!!

  • imagewedonabudget:

     I agree 7 weeks is WOW - I think I'd lose my mind :)  She was nice to do that!!

    I think Jenn is nicer for letting her stay that long!

  • imagesars1202:
    imagewedonabudget:

     I agree 7 weeks is WOW - I think I'd lose my mind :)  She was nice to do that!!

    I think Jenn is nicer for letting her stay that long!

    LOL - no kidding, I wouldn't be as nice :)  And after a baby too - I sure couldn't be that nice!  I'm in awe honestly - don't know how you did it. 

  • imagechar-char:
    My mom and MIL both live near us and we never had anyone stay with us at home to help out and honestly, even when they came over it was just to visit with my DH and myself and see the baby. They would help with the baby, but I didn't really have anyone volunteer / offer to clean, cook, etc. nor did I really expect it though. We are pretty independent people though and tend to try to do it all on our own or at least try before asking for too much assistance.

    Ditto, almost exactly.  I'd rather give birth to a 20 pound baby than have either my mom or MIL stay with me for any length of time,

    However,  my husband was off work for 4 weeks, so that was a big help.

  • My parents have tickets to get here 4 days after DD's due date, and will stay for about 3 weeks. Of course, our situation is different, being 1/2 way around the world and all. It takes a good few days just to get adjusted to the time difference.

    I think my mom esp will be a big help w/ the baby and cooking meals and all that. My dad will help too, although he has a whole list of places to visit while here which just makes me laugh (no dad, I will not be climbing Mt. Fuji days after birthing a child...). I think they will stay w/ us a week, go on a weekend adventure just the 2 of them, come back for a few days, go off for another few...that sorta thing. So they will be here 3 weeks, but maybe not every single day for that long (to give us some time "alone parent time" w/ the baby when she is new and little). I am excited they can come over though and think 3 weeks is a good amount of time.

    DH also gets 10 days off when she's born that he can take anytime w/in the first 2 months. So, depending on when she gets here he'll either take it before they get here, or after- just so I can have help around the house for the first part and not be 100% solo w/o family or DH or anything.

  • imagesars1202:
    imagewedonabudget:

     I agree 7 weeks is WOW - I think I'd lose my mind :)  She was nice to do that!!

    I think Jenn is nicer for letting her stay that long!

    Nope, not nicer.  Seriously, she was very helpful.  I was clueless & scared when I first had Jared.  I wanted all the support I could get (& had heard that you should always take all the help that was offered).  For me & DH it worked out great.  My MIL is a servant-type person.  She was great @ balancing our needs w/ her own.  She gave us plenty of time to bond as a family & be "out of our way."  And she's an awesome cook!

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  • I had a scheduled c-section on a Friday.  My mom came up that morning & stayed through the following Friday.  It was great that she was here while we were at the hospital.  She took care of our dog, straightened the house up & prepared/froze meals for later.  We discussed what I was hoping she would contribute ahead of time. My mom & I have a good relationship, so I felt ok telling her what I needed was primarily someone to cook/clean/keep the house going so I could be free to concentrate on the baby, nursing, sleeping when he slept, etc.  It worked out perfectly for us & she was a huge help.  I cried when she left, but was also a little happy to have just us in the house.  A few weeks later I was ready for a weekend visit from her though, so I could get a little sleep!
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