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POLL for mommies: Where does your baby sleep?
I was talking to a co-worker this morning and he was saying how he didn't get much sleep coz his baby woke up too early. He then mentioned that from week 1, they trained the baby to sleep in his crib/room and it worked out pretty well for them. I have heard other people who had their babies sleep in a co-sleeper or on the bed with them and had a hard time training their kids to sleep on their own bed. This made me think what's the right way to do it. Just curious to hear what your thoughts are.
- Where does your baby sleep?
- Do you think it's better to train the baby to sleep in their own crib/room from the getgo?
- If the baby slept on a co-sleeper/beside you, did you have a hard time training the baby to sleep on their own bed/room later?
- Where does your baby sleep?
- Do you think it's better to train the baby to sleep in their own crib/room from the getgo?
- If the baby slept on a co-sleeper/beside you, did you have a hard time training the baby to sleep on their own bed/room later?
Re: POLL for mommies: Where does your baby sleep?
Good questions!! I'm interested to hear the responses.
Married Bio
I'm curious about this too!
My cousin did the co-sleeping with both if his kids and it was very hard for them to switch both kids to their own bed. I know when they did switch one of his girls would still come to their bedroom in the middle of the night (actually she is almost 3 years old and still does this?!!). I know it was difficult to have 2 adults and 1 baby-toddler-etc. in their bed as it was a double and quite tight (he said he didn't sleep well for quite a while).
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
On a side note, I think it also depends on your baby's temperament. Cassie was a good baby, she was sleeping through the night at 2 months old and easily adapted to her crib. I can't say things would be the same now if she was more of a crier, or a colicky baby.....I can definitely see myself bringing her to bed with us out of sheer desperation in those cases.
Very good point
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
Good questions! I too am looking forward to hearing from mommies with older babies...
Right now, Alexa sleeps whenever and wherever she sleeps!
Since DH is working, I have been letting him have the bedroom and I have been putting her down in her bassinet in the office next door, then sleeping on the futon next to her. She has gone down the last two nights for a few hours each night, so I'm happy with that. When DH is off in Oct, I might wheel the bassinet into the bedroom or we'll take turns with "night duty" in the office so the other one can get some good sleep...
The crib is HUGE... I use it for changing her outfits and swaddling her...
She also sleeps in her infant bouncer... But that is only for mid-day naps, not nighttime.
Her FAVORITE place to sleep is on my chest, or DH's chest. So we are trying to give her back time so that it'll be easier to put her down at night. So far so good. It really does depend on the baby.... She has been -- knock on wood -- very easy. When she cries, it's for a specific reason (wet diaper, has to burp, hungry) so that has been great. We can quiet her down in seconds.
I also must say that the "Happiest Baby on the Block" DVD is a godsend. DH and I watched it the night before my induction (TG she was late, right? We had kept putting off watching it... ) Anyway, DH has been using those soothing techniques and they work in seconds!! Mainly the side hold with shusshing. And we give her her hand to suck on, or a finger. She doesn't take a paci. And she doesn't like swaddling so much because she likes her hands free.
HTH!
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
hahahaha - you crack me up
i have no idea - no babies here - but i will admit that i remember sleeping with my parents (in a king bed) until i was old enough to be embarrassed about it - maybe 5 or so? i was never bf, so that wasn't the reason. and i did have my own room at that point, so it wasn't a space issue. <shrug> and my sister is 6 years younger than me - go figure
haha. in all seriousness, my mom was pg when i was 2, and then mc'd, so who knows. i don't want to ask 
I obviously don't have a baby (yet) but I thought I would chime in about what my mom did.
When I was born I slept in a bassinet next to her. She breastfed and that was easiest. After breastfeeding she often let me just stay in the bed and she admitted that one time she fell asleep and I fell off the bed and she felt sooooooo horrible. (she LOVED the arm's reach concept and has purchased one for me - wishing she had something similar).
I outgrew the bassinet and then just slept on her side of the bed (they pushed it up against the wall) because she said it was still easiest and that is how everyone got the most sleep (she could soothe/feed me without getting up). I slept in my crib occassionally but for the most part that is how they worked it out. She never intended to co-sleep but it just happened that way (she probably didn't even know the term for it). She transitioned me to a crib at about 2 without major problem because I had often napped in the crib. After the divorce I ended up sleeping with her until she remarried at age 6 - it's what was most comfortable for me, and that was her main concern. When I spent the night at my grandparents my grandma always had to sleep in the same room as me.
For my sister she figured she would do the same thing, but my sister was completely different. She didn't really like being snuggled or fussed over, so my mom didn't even attempt to extend the co-sleeping period after she was out of the bassinet.
One of my good friends from elementary to HS is from a really crunchy family and they openly called it co-sleeping and her younger brother probably slept in their room in some form or another until he started middle school. I did kind of raise my eyebrows at that, but him (and his siblings) are the nicest, most well adjusted young adults I have ever met, and in all other respects they were totally mainstream (participated in athletics, church, etc) so whatever works.
Soooo.... I guess I totally have an open mind about it. The master bedroom in our house is at the opposite end of all the other bedrooms so I anticipate the baby being in our room in some way or another for quite a while.
We are attempting the attachment parenting technique.
When Ashton came home, the first few nights, he would sleep wherever he wanted. After the first week. I put him in his napper which is part of the pack n play. He woke up every 45 mins or so. After a week of that and me getting NO sleep at all, we moved to swaddling him in the bassinet feature of the pack n play in our room. He was sleeping a little longer, but I still was not getting any sleep....he is super hot natured and only likes to be swaddled for an hour or so and then he is overheated.
Fast forward to a week ago after I read a little more about attachment parenting. I went and bought the Arms reach co-sleeper. Since then, Ashton has been going down at first in the co-sleeper for a few hours, then when he wakes to feed I reach over and nurse laying down and he stays in bed with me until around 4:30..I put him back in the co-sleeper....so far so good...I am getting so much more sleep as is Ashton. Poor Adam has been sleeping on the couch, but I need sleep in order to take care of Ashton, so he deals with it for now.
During the day though, Ashton sleeps wherever...my chest, a bean bag we got from him, etc. He pretty much can adapt to wherever we are at the moment.
I know a lot of people have their own opinion about babies sleeping in the parents bed, etc. but this is what has been working from us. Not every family is the same and I really don't think there is a wrong or right way on where your baby should sleep..it depends on the family and the baby.
L O L !!!!!!!!!
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I have a friend who has 2 kids - 4 y.o and a 2 y.o. She had a hard time training her 1st kid to sleep in her room coz she got used to sleeping on their bed. It took forever to finally have the 1st kid sleep in her room and the 2nd kid followed. However, just last week, she told me both kids are now back to sleeping in the parents bedroom. The older kid would just say "i love you mommy. i wanna sleep with you mommy". I guess your heart melts when that happens? Kids know how to manipulate the adults, so I heard lol. So, every night the husband ends up getting bumped to the other room
.
During the day - anywhere he wants - on my chest, in his bouncy chair and right now he is in the swing. At night he sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed. James slept in the bassinet and then went to his crib at 6 months, when he outgrew the bassinet. Parker is bigger and will outgrow it sooner.
DH and I made a rule that we will not allow any co-sleeping because my friends who did it seem to have had a REALLY hard time getting the child out of their bed. Some still have kids who are over 2 yrs old sleeping with them.
This is EXACTLY what I do not want to happen!
I am not a mom nor even pregnant but DH and I have already talked about doing the same thing/having the same rule.
Chiming in...
We bought an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper and we plan to have her in it for the first several months since I plan to breastfeed. Once she's sleeping through the night and not waking up to feed, we'll move her into her own room in a crib. We're outfitting her room with a twin bed that has a pop-up trundle underneath so that, if need be, one of us can sleep in there with her while the other sleeps in our bed. Also, that way, we can sleep in there and our guests can have our bed when they come for a visit.
We plan to use a lot of the Attachment Parenting principals but I don't want to end up with a 4 year old in our bed! So we're trying to stike a balance.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Where does your baby sleep?
Chloe sleeps in her bassinet next to our bed at night from anywhere between 8:30pm-10pm (when she falls asleep) and will wake up about 6-7am. YES she sleeps through the night and THANK GOD!. Sometimes during the day she'll sleep on the couch on her belly so I can watch her or on our bed.
- Do you think it's better to train the baby to sleep in their own crib/room from the getgo?
I think it'll help in the long run.
- If the baby slept on a co-sleeper/beside you, did you have a hard time training the baby to sleep on their own bed/room later? N/A
Brooke sleeps in her pack-n-play, though for the first few weeks she slept in a bassinet. She is a big baby though (at 2 months, she was weighing around 14 pounds)-- and the pack-n-play only allows the bassinet feature up until 15 pounds, so we had to "alter" it [stuff body pillows under the bassinet to hold it up just in case].
I know a lot of people co-sleep, but we REALLY did not want to start that and have to break the habit later. We will eventually move her into her beautiful, unoccupied crib when she is a little older. It shouldn't be much of a transition because we rock her to sleep so when we put her down, she's already knocked out-- doubt she'll realize the switch from pack-n-play to crib.
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oh from day 1 i was very adament about having haley sleep in her crib, she did the first night...then she had to be on the bililight for jaundice, so she slept in a pack n play in our room for about two/three weeks, then we moved her back into her crib!! she was fine with it, always has been and now wont sleep in our bed at all, which is great!
this time we will have the twins in their crib from day 1 as well. our room isnt far from theirs, so its not like its a long walk in the middle of the night to feed, etc.
Not that I've experienced it yet, but I do agree with this. My mother coslept with all three of her children, and I'm told that my sister and I easily transitioned to our own beds. My brother, on the other hand...not so much. I'm 5 years older than him, so I can remember that time, and it took AGES for him to sleep on his own! I guess he was just clingier than my sister or I had been?
I do know several sets of parents who have had difficulties transitioning after co-sleeping and have had a very difficult time getting their children to sleep in a separate bed (and not necessarily because they waited for too long, which was my first assumption). At any rate, we're not going to co-sleep...it's right for some people and not for others, and it's not something that we're planning on doing.
Both of my LOs slept in the crib. With my first, she slept in the crib in her own room. My second is in a crib, but she's in our room (we're in a 2 bedroom condo).
I never had any plans to co-sleep...the co-sleeping began out of sheer exhaustion and desperation (I think Maya was around 4 mths old when it started). One night I just put her in bed with me, popped the boob in her mouth and had the first full night sleep I had had in a lonnnng time. I woke up a new woman lol!
At the moment, one of us lays down beside her at night, in our bed, to get her to sleep. Then, when she's asleep, we transfer her to her crib. It varies on how long she sleeps in her crib for before she wakes up and wants to come into our bed. The last two nights she has slept all night in her crib but the usual time she wakes up to come into our bed is around 2am-3am or so. The times she has slept all night in her crib, we have praised her in the morning, telling her that "She is SUCH a big girl" and that we are "Very impressed!"
Interestingly, I find that the more calories she has consumed that day, the better she sleeps. She's a picky eater so, on the days she has actually eaten all the meals and snacks I have given her have turned into goooood nights!
We just bought her a big-girl bed and I've still got to buy the sheets/quilt/pillow for it. Our plan is for Josh to lay next to her on the attached trundle bed each night until she is used to it (if need be). He'll then leave the room when she's asleep.
When we DO make this transition to the big girl bed, she will not be sleeping in our bed again...not even when she is sick, because that will mean we'll be back to co-sleeping again. It will be a case of one of us calmly picking her up and taking her back to her bed (it's important to not make a fuss if they get out of bed. Be as BORING as possible and they will soon get sick of the 'getting out of bed, mum/dad picking me up silently and putting me BACK into bed' shtick). So, we plan to just keep taking her back to her bed and laying beside her if needed, until she falls asleep.
Eventually, the goal is to read her a story, kiss her g'night, tell her we'll be back in a few minutes, leave the room and come back after those few minutes are up. Then keep doing that until we come into the room and find she's asleep. My brother-in-law and his wife were in the exact same situation with their daughter (who is now 3) and they incorporated the 'back in a few minutes' routine once she was in her own bed (around 2 years of age) and it is working for them.
I find this author's books are a big help in working out a plan I am happy with to get Maya to sleep on her own: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
For as much as I LOVE being in the bed without Maya, I will say that I have enjoyed the closeness and the cuddles we have had each night. My baby is not gonna be a baby forever and I am SO not worried about her taking 'forever' to sleep in her own bed. We'll stick to the big-girl bed plan and eventually she'll 'get it'.
I'll answer the 'how do you get knocked up when you co-sleep' question...
Who says you need to be in a bed to 'make-ah de sexxxxyyyyyy'?
Also, a new development on her daytime nap! I used to have to lay down with her for her afternoon nap (2 - 3 hours) or get her to sleep by putting her in her stroller and walking around outside. Well, in the past week, I have just put her in her crib, said "time for sleep!" and walked out.
Yeah, she's cried and wanted to get out when I do it. She'll cry for a couple of minutes after I walk out but then she goes on to talk to herself or sing to herself and generally play (with what, I don't know! She doesn't have any toys in her crib at the time). She might throw out her pillow and other non-attached things though lol. Anyway, after a while, she'll lay down and go to sleep! She GETS it now! She's fine with it. I couldn't do that with her before because she would cry and cry and CRYYYYYYYY until she worked herself into such a state. It totally went against all my instincts to have her 'cry it out' so I never subscribed to that method.
Moral of the story: Situations with babies/toddlers aren't forever in most cases. Eventually they mature and change and you can both get into a new routine when you are ready. If it works for you all as a family unit, then don't give a rats ass about what OTHER people have to say about it. If someone wants to tell you what you should or shouldn't do with your baby,tell them that the next time he/she is crying at 3am, you will expect to see them there putting them back to sleep, seeing as they're so knowledgable and such an expert on your child.
Hahaha. I always wonder the same thing with co-sleeping!
Great question, Ericka & everyone's feedback is really interesting.
Our plan is to have her sleep in the pack n play for the first few months and then move her to her crib when she's sleeping longer or sleeping through the night. I plan to breastfeed so it'll be easier to have her in our room. And hopefully she won't even notice the transition.
I'm against co-sleeping because I don't want to have to break the habit, either. My cousin had a hard time with her son and she had to sleep in the floor of his room until he was about 3. Additionally, I slept with my mom until I was 12! Yikes. She was a single mom and I was too afraid to sleep in my own room because I was so used to sleeping with her my whole life. I DO NOT want my children to be like I was! Haha.
LOL..very true ;-)
- Where does your baby sleep? DS slept in his crib from day one. We also used all of the "Happiest Baby on the Block Techniques" - we swaddled, he used a paci (he spit it out around 3 months and hasn't used it since), we had white noise on his room at all times (we downloaded from free from this website, looped it on my iPod and put computer speakers in the corners of the crib) and he was rocked to sleep (nursed to sleep).
We have a video monitor and a motion monitor so I have a lot of peace of mind when DS is in his crib.
We started a routine at 2 months to put him down at 8pm and we continue to do it today.
Although it's not the official recommendation, DS has been sleeping with stuff in his crib for a few months now and I think that all that stuff is really soothing to him...he definitely has a fave blankie (we have four of them just in case!) that he has around at all times. He LOVES being in his crib, he'll play when he gets up instead of crying. Or, if he's not asleep yet when he's put in the crib, he'll turn on his classical music (he prefers Mozart to Beethoven or Bach
) and put himself to sleep.
- Do you think it's better to train the baby to sleep in their own crib/room from the getgo? Yes, for us it was the only way to go. Even though it wasn't the most convenient thing for me in the beginning since I breastfed so I was the only one that fed him for the first few weeks, it was the best in the long run for our family.
Bottom line really is that we didn't want the baby to get used to sleeping in our bed or even our room. It was really important for us to keep the husband/wife space just for us and keep some things the same (little things like all the animals sleeping in our room or watching TV in bed) and not worrying about disturbing the baby. Plus, DH had to work so it would have been impossible for him to get any sleep and I wasn't going to kick him out of our bedroom.
Truth be told, we have a very easy baby though. Everyone has to do what is best for their situation and family.
I think that's an important point too, as every baby's temperament is different. For example, some parents report that sleep training wasn't TOO hard for them to do as the baby would only cry for a little while (20 mins or so) then fall asleep etc. Some babies though would get so worked up that they'd cry for hours, end up vomiting etc and the sleep training wouldn't really stick with them.
It's important to have a plan, like you did! Work out your baby's personality and work a plan around that in order to achieve the outcome you desire. I didn't really have a plan at the time and felt like I was feeling my way through the dark, so to speak, so I ran with what worked at the time. Not saying I regret co-sleeping, because I don't. However, to those of whom really do not want to co-sleep, having a plan that fits your parenting style and your baby's personality will help a lot. Sometimes, your baby takes one look at your plans and 'throws up on them' so to speak lol...so, it's also important to be a little flexible there.
It's interesting to me, that Western culture is so determined that children learn to be independent and 'trained' at a point in their life when they are most dependent.
My instinct just told me to 'go with it' and not fight it when it came to Maya wanting to be near me physically as much as she did. Like I said, babyhood is fleeting and I'm seeing her naturally (yet very slowly) move toward other people instead of me and gradually realize that 'mummy isn't going to disappear forever' if she moves too far away from me. She is learning to trust the world, a small bit at a time. That's her personality and J and I need to respect that and work with it and earn her trust too. Same way she needs to respect our boundaries and our rules as parents, as we go along. Respect is a two-way street.
This is what I've come to learn from my own experience of motherhood so far. It goes without saying that it's not everyone's experience so take from it what resonates with you and disregard what doesn't