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WWYD?
Backstory: Just closed on our brand new house. Planning a housewarming party for 11/7. Already sent out the FB invite, have about 19 confirmed guests (planning on about 25 because some aren't on FB) and about 5 maybes.
Dilemma: C gets home today with a bunch of stuff that his parents gave him and there's a post it note - "*****'s surprise birthday party, 11/7 @ 7pm" (C's cousin.)
MIL strongly hinted that we should change the date of our party since it's "just our friends that are coming, not family". We both say no, we planned it first and don't want to change the date.
We're not close to said cousin - however, she came to our wedding, and I like her a lot. We keep in touch via FB mostly but she is a really nice person, and I do feel bad.
However, this is our first house and we really want to show it off to our friends.
Keep the party date or change it? WWYD?
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Re: WWYD?
I need a little more info first, namely:
Is this a big bday for the cousin? (ie is she turning 25 or 30 or whatever)
It also would make a difference to know if there is a backup date that could work well for you two and your guests if you were to reschedule.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
is the surprise party actually on the cousin's birthday? Because if they just picked a random day, and you already had your party planned, I'd say throw your party.
Actually, if you have 19 confirmed guests, it's too late to change yours. It would be inconsiderate to the people who are already arranging their schedules around your event (family or not - you shouldn't be rude to people just because you're not related to them... in fact since friends are an elective relationship, you should be more polite to them, the family is stuck with you no matter how you behave). They really need to give more than 2 weeks notice for a surprise party.
If it's actually the cousin's birthday that day... maybe see if you can see her at some point during the day.... I don't know when your party is. or call someone at the party after she's supposed to have been surprised and wish her a happy birthday over the phone (don't call her directly, you might screw up the surprise).
I'm with JuneBug. If it's, like, "Suprise 30th Birthday with ALL Cousin's Friends and Family," I would probably try and reschedule.
But if it's "Cousin's 27th Birthday which will basically just be a family dinner" than what's the point?
However, I also agree that with 17 people already confirmed and 5 maybes, it's kind of a sh*tty thing to do to your guests, birthday party or no.
Plus, I find it somewhat irritating when people (family members) use the "it's just your friends" line. So what? My friends ARE my family, and you don't get to decide your event is more important than my event just because we happen to share some genetic coding with the party guests. Bullsh*t, I say.
(Wow, maybe I need a beer...I'm a bit tense for Friday...)
Just checked FB. It's the 11th. And she's turning 30. It's going to be a big party at the local VFW hall.
However, she's not that close type of cousin that we'd hang out with or even make plans to see if we missed her party. But C's family is HUGE and close knit.
I just feel like, we sent out invites a week ago. We're not expecting any of his family to come so I just feel like our 20+ guests who have already said they can come kind of take priority.
It's a tricky situation.
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
Oh, forgot to mention, we have 3 people coming from out of state. I'd hate to rush them out or make them change the weekend.
I think I've made up my mind. Haha.
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Yeah, that is a tricky one. I'm leaning towards sticking with your pre-made plans though. You have people who've committed to coming. Your invites were out first. They aren't giving you much notice on this one.
I also come from a close knit large family. Thing is, not everybody can make every single gathering. They'll get over it. If there's a way to catch a part of the party...or more importantly a way to meet up with said cousin sometime around her bday, I'd do that.
Good luck with the moving and settling in.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
My Chart Recipe Blog
~All AL'ers welcome~
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
::taps foot::
::checks email::
No evite. WTF dobs!
Lucy Elizabeth 10.27.12
I definitely think you should keep your party. It is rude to your guests who are confirmed, ESPECIALLY to the OOT guests. Even if you move it up in the day or make it a shorter event, those who came from OOT will feel slighted.
Leave it as is, and send a card/gift with your IL's to the cousin's party.