June 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: POLL: Are you TTC in 2010?
I voted "Absolutely Not". I SO have my BOTB moments, but when it comes down to it, we're not at all ready. We wanna be in a house (we're in an apartment right now), I wanna be done with my Master's Degree (I've only taken 2 classes), and we wanna be more financially stable. I think we're gonna start TTC in mid-late 2011...possibly even early 2012, depending how my Master's goes.
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI#1 8/2012: BFN
IUI#2 9/2012: BFN
IUI#3 10/2012: BFN
IVF#1 (2 embryos transferred) 1/2013: BFN
IVF#2 (2 embryos transferred) 5/2013: BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8 Beta 2 (5/21) - 341 Beta 3 (5/27) - 2771
1st u/s 6/7 - measuring right on track at 7 weeks with 144 bpm!
1/20/14 - Our sweet girl joined our family!
My Local Nestie Besties: JenniferLuvsCandy, MABride0808, thecuddleeffect, MrsHo1030
What are you getting your Master's in?
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Elementary Education
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI#1 8/2012: BFN
IUI#2 9/2012: BFN
IUI#3 10/2012: BFN
IVF#1 (2 embryos transferred) 1/2013: BFN
IVF#2 (2 embryos transferred) 5/2013: BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8 Beta 2 (5/21) - 341 Beta 3 (5/27) - 2771
1st u/s 6/7 - measuring right on track at 7 weeks with 144 bpm!
1/20/14 - Our sweet girl joined our family!
My Local Nestie Besties: JenniferLuvsCandy, MABride0808, thecuddleeffect, MrsHo1030
Nice! I got mine in SPED. Best thing I ever did, besides marrying my husband. Haha.
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Hahaha...I'm thinking about changing it to something more specific (IE Reading specialist or something), but I really like just teaching in a regular classroom setting, so I don't know...
TTC since Sept. 2011
DX: MFI
IUI#1 8/2012: BFN
IUI#2 9/2012: BFN
IUI#3 10/2012: BFN
IVF#1 (2 embryos transferred) 1/2013: BFN
IVF#2 (2 embryos transferred) 5/2013: BFP!!! EDD 1/24/14
Beta 1 (5/17) - 66.8 Beta 2 (5/21) - 341 Beta 3 (5/27) - 2771
1st u/s 6/7 - measuring right on track at 7 weeks with 144 bpm!
1/20/14 - Our sweet girl joined our family!
My Local Nestie Besties: JenniferLuvsCandy, MABride0808, thecuddleeffect, MrsHo1030
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
I should note that I am 27 and DH is 31. We will each have a birthday before the baby arrives. We both have good jobs and feel like we're in the right place for it. We don't have a house but that is primarily because we know we do not want to raise a child here and are making final decisions about where we want to move. After some discussion this weekend, we may have decided on a place and would be moving very soon, if I get the job I am applying for. We have the down payment in a CD that will mature in about 2.5 years and at that point our goal is to be in a city that suits us long term.
FWIW, there is no way I was in a position to have a child at 23-24 because I had too many other things I wanted to do. I've accomplished a lot of them and am ready to start this chapter in my life.
I think age shouldn't be the only thing that defines if you're ready to have kids. It sounds like you both are on the right track and obviously have made some smart decisions. Responsiblity. That's how M and I feel at times. Got the house a few years ago, got good jobs, got my MA, working towards another degree (I went from human services to Accounting...big change). I am just not ready to be a mom (yikes that word is scary)!
I do know that when we have kids we will set one day aside each week for date night. M's parents did this and they said it's probably a big reason their marriage worked so well. They made sure to have time for just the two of them.
Definitely. You have to have your priorities straight and you have to work at it.
It's just irritating when people say, "I can't imagine ever tying myself down with a child at 23. That's crazy." Well, first of all, to some people that's not being tied down, especially if you're family oriented to begin with.
Besides, by the time the child comes out I will be 25... big difference from 23. And C will be 27.
Being a mom IS scary. That's why I'm not doing it anytime soon and I'm giving myself another 9 months or so. Who knows. I might reevaluate later and it might not be the right time. But I'm thinking 2010 will be a good time.
Dx: MFI, unexplained recurrent miscarriages
IVF w/ICSI #1 (December 2010): m/c at 6w4d
IVF w/ICSI #2 (April 2011): c/p
FET #1 (July 2011): m/c at 7w3d
IVF w/ICSI #3 (October 2011- new clinic): BFP.
Lainey was born on June 13, 2012 via c-section at 37w3d!
Having children doesn't necessarily mean you're tied down and your life is over. I've done a fair amount of traveling, but C hasn't. We plan on traveling after we have kids, though it will definitely be different than the way I traveled in my early 20s. We own a 2 bedroom apartment and don't have the money for a house in the immediate future. We have enough space to have kid, and possibly even 2. And we live across the street from a park. I'm almost finished with my degree but I don't have a job and we're not 100% sure we're staying here (though we're trying to). If necessary, we'll move after we have kids even though it's easier to stay here because both our families are so close by. And I'm often totally scared of the idea of having kids.
On the other hand, I feel ready and we're TTC (the J9 water doesn't seem to be working so well for me so far though). I think it's hard to get to a point where you think, "Ok, everything in the world is lined up." And if you do wait for that, you often can't have kids anyway. My cousin wanted a few kids but only had 1 because they were waiting until they had more money. He advised us that the money will come so don't let that stand between you. And I believe that. We're not starving by any means. We definitely have places we can cut back if needed and I know I'll find a job doing something and I'll like it, even if it isn't my dream job.
Right now, my biggest worry is that we won't be able to get rid of all the junk in our apartment in time for a baby!
October 2013 February Siggy Challenge: Valentine's Day Fail
EDD 10/3/13
I know that's directed towards my post, and I'll restate what I did in the age poll - I realize that people's priorities are different, but it's still surprising to me when people who are young and in their early 20's are having children.
I'm a very family oriented person, but having a child is going to change everything in my life. Having a child means that travel is going to be more limited. Having a child means that play money will be limited. Having a child means that my work situation may change, my ability to go out at the drop of a hat will change, etc. I'm 23. I'm finally out of college. I'm at a point in life where I'm not concerned about money. As we discussed yesterday via Twitter, the only reason why we're not buying is bc I'm looking at plopping down $400k on a starter home, and I want to be able to buy quality in the community I already love if I'm going to be dropping almost half a million dollars on a 1500 square foot cape.
So yes, for me, having a baby is crazy and would absolutely tie me down. I'm confident that nothing would change between B and myself - we've been together for 7 years, I know that we would be fine - but a baby is a life changing and life altering decision.
I can see your point tho, given everything that was said to me before B and I got married. The "wow, you're so young!", "why would you tie yourself down with someone at 23?" questions. And yes, everyone's situations are different. You're in a good place right now, that's great for you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have one - its a completely personal decision and obviously my opinion doesn't matter.
But the majority of people I know at 23 who are having children absolutely shouldn't be. No, not everyone has the opportunity to travel to Europe or buy nice houses, but I know many of them are leaving so many opportunities on the table. But at 23, I know I have years and years ahead of me to have kids and still be able to play with them, be a member of the PTO, be active in their lives, and still have a life outside of my family and have nice things.
seems to me that option 1 and 3 are pretty much the same. If you're having sex, and you're not trying to prevent a baby (assuming you are physically capable of getting preg).... you're TTC. I mean, there are other ways to TTC, and maybe some people are more... active about it than others, but still.
Agreed!
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