Central Pennsylvania Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
XP: Poll: How long did it take you to conceive?
I posted this on the Central PA babies board earlier and thought I"d bring it over here...
In light of feeling a lil' frustrated since it's been 4 months since we officially started ttc, I was curious: how long did it take you girls to conceive?
I'm not out this month yet - still another week til AF is supposed to show (trying to think positively).
Thanks ladies, and hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Christmas/ Holiday. 
I'm glad I've got some great Nestie friends
Re: XP: Poll: How long did it take you to conceive?
Pg 7 months after going off BCP. M/c one month later. Pg again 2 months later. M/c 2 months later. Fertility treatments, surgeries, and forced breaks for 20 months until I got the BFP for my current pg.
In total I ttc'd from Sept 2006 - May 2009.
I know its frustrating but ttc for 4 months+ is not unusual. Check out the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." A lot of women find it helpful. GL!!
me&mr t: I wasn't trying to be a b!tch by posting this, and yeah, it's only been 4 months, but it was just a question. I didn't even suggest that I was going to get checked out for fertility issues - I'm aware most doctors won't see you until after a year. I just wanted to hear what other women on this board were experiencing with their journey ttc for support, since that's what the board is for. i know it can take a year+ for a couple my age to conceive and that's fine, but it doesn't mean it's any less frustrating to not see that bfp.
Thanks for your stories, girls.
3 years. You mentioned your age in your PP- I know that you were not referring to issues but this is from my fertility dr's website (I wish I had realized this when we started TTC):
"Infertility evaluation and treatment should be sought after one year of trying with unprotected intercourse for couples in which the female is under 30 and six months of trying for couples in which the female is over 30."
Good luck-I hope this is your month!! Keep us posted!
Okay, butting in when I'm probably letting hormones get the best of me... but honestly, nowhere in her post did Abbie so much as indicate that she thought you were "trying to be a ***," and knowing her, she never would. I don't think it was necessary to essentially put words in her mouth and get so defensive in response to her post. It seemed to me that she was offering you the info on fertility issues to give you as much info as possible - beth&anth did the same. They're just trying to be helpful. You asked for personal experiences; that's what you got, along with info that's been learned along their journeys.
Despite not having been through infertility myself, I *have* spent many evenings talking to Abbie about the things she's going through, and bearing that in mind, I can understand how a post talking about being frustrated after four months of TTC can be hard for her to read. While I don't want to speak for others, I'm also guessing that she's not the only one on this board who wishes she were only at 4 months of TTC.
On the other hand, if your post was not intended to sound defensive, then I sincerely apologize for misunderstanding how you meant your statement.
... every single day of forever.
I'm sorry that you are frustrated about TTC for 4 months but that is not very long and is really not a reason to be concerned. I understand that from your perspective that it seems long and it is tough to see BFNs no matter where you are in your TTC journey. If you are under 30 years of age they say to seek treatment if you've been trying for a year without success. If you're over 30 years old then it's 6 months. My DH and I have been trying for over 3 years; since 8/06. It's hard to see everyone else getting pregnant and being left behind. I hope that you don't have IF. It's a long, hard road that I don't wish on anyone. Honestly I've had a lot of struggles and sadness in my life but IF and pregnancy loss has been, by far, the most difficult and and painful experience(s) in my life. See siggy for more info.
If you are concerned then I also recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." It's very helpful when you are in the beginning stages of TTC. I don't mean to be snarky but I just wanted to give you some perspective on TTC. Good luck to you; I hope that you get your BFP very soon!
I don't understand how anything I said was anything but support or what I am experiencing. You said you wanted to hear what women on this board are experiencing. Does this not include me? I was pregnant once. I have been TTC for amost 2 1/2 years at this point. I would say that I have very valid advice to offer. You said that you've been TTC for 4 months now and you are starting to get a "lil frustrated" and I was telling you that you are completely normal at this point. I was offering suggestions to you and advice. Who would want to be in my shoes? But it sounds like all you really wanted was sympathy if you didn't want my support (ie "if you have any questions please feel free to ask" and all the advice I gave to you from the IF perspective) since what I offered you was support.
It is upsetting to see someone complain about not getting pregnant after only trying for 4 months. You have no idea. I am on my THIRD Christmas of empty arms. And this Christmas I was supposed to have full arms because I was supposed to have a baby in May. Go onto the IF board and read some of the siggies. The heartbreak that these ladies have been through. Yes, it is ok to be upset after not having a BFP, and each BFN is upsetting. But after spending THOUSANDS on treatments and giving themselves shots and medications that go crazy on the body and getting BFN month after month after month, it gets very hard to see someone complaining about not getting a BFP after 4 months of doing nothing but the natural way to TTC, which is the way I wish every single would was able to TTC. I was only offering my advice to you and my support to you.
I wouldn't wish IF on anyone because it is de-womanizing. I feel like a medical experiment and less of a woman sometimes because my body can't get pregnant the normal way. Sorry to dump it all out here, but you really upset me that when I offer my support it gets thrown back in my face as if I was trying to make you feel bad for not giving you sympathy. I wanted to give you some perspective. If all you were asking was a question, then just ask the question without all the "I've been TTC for 4 months and I'm starting to get a little frustrated" because there are women on this board and many other boards across the nest that are going through a lot more in their TTC journey than anyone would ever wish on anyone else.
me&mr t - I'm sorry for all you're going through. I did get defensive after reading your post because it did feel like you were being a little bit snarky by saying it "has only been 4 months." I felt like you were minimizing the situation. I'm sure after your 4th month trying you were frustrated too. It's extremely hard when it's something you want so badly. I know it's taken you a while - I've been following your posts too. Obviously, I don't know what the future holds, but each month that passes by makes me wonder when and if I'll get pg -- Especially after seeing all the issues that the girls on here have. Again, I'm sorry for misinterpreting the tone of your post. I don't want sympathy - I really don't need sympathy because I've got a lot of other great things in my life to be thankful for.
So again, sorry for misinterpreting your post. Good luck in the year ahead.
FWIW, there are docs that will talk to you before the 6-mo or 1 year mark.
We had been TTC for four months (I was 28-29) when I called my doc to see if they would do any testing. I hadn't gotten AF since I went off the pill (4 mos), and my OB-CRNP scheduled me right away for bloodwork to see if there were any imbalances that may be affecting fertility.
Turned out the bloodwork from that visit to start exploring if there may be something wrong came back with a BFP.
Good luck to you and DH, and don't be afraid to call your doc early.
I appreciate the apology. I really was trying to be supportive and I'm sorry if you misinterpreted the tone. That is what sucks about the internet... you can't hear the intonation in what people are saying.
Hang in there. If (and I really hope you do not) you get to the point where you have to go to the dr for testing etc for IF please don't hesitate to contact me. As I said before, I am very open about what I am going through.
I've been married for 4 months and haven't been "trying" but we haven't been preventing it. I've been hoping to take the "not trying" method in hopes to get pregnant right away. Much like another poster on this thread wrote, I thought that as soon as I was off BCP that I would get pregnant in a snap! It wasn't the case. I just didn't know enough about my body at all.
Since early November, I'm been researching, charting and trying to get to know my body a little better. I also used ovulation protectors to help. Well, I just got my AF again yesterday, darn. I'm a little frusterated only because I thought it would just happen right away.However, I know that people have it a lot worse and I have ONLY been trying (or whatever you want to call what I was doing) for 4 months.
I think that no matter what your situation, when you're ready to be a mother, nine months is already a long time to wait. So, having to go months or years before a BFP must feel like torture. My heart truly goes out to those individuals that have been trying for years.
Good luck in your journey.
Um, I don't recall her saying she was planning on going to be checked out for IF. She was just asking a simple question.
To answer the question, MrsCohick - I got pg the first cycle when we started TTC, then I had a chemical pg. It took us another 4 cycles to get pg with Sophia. I know it can be very frustrating. I hope it happens soon for you!!!
And I answered her simple question. She was asking for experiences and that is what I gave her. And that is what others gave her as well.
Eh, whatever. I'm pretty much over this board.
I don't understand where any of this is coming from.... they settled everything and you left a snarky comment
This!
This!
This!!
I agree. summerbridesara, i don't think you were snarky or in the wrong. its your opinion...we are all entitled.
Another one in agreement here.
What I think is interesting about this post is that I recall me&mrt making a similar post when she had only been trying for a few months. I'd expect someone to understand/remember the disappointment and frustration, even in the beginning. If you've been trying for one month or for years, seeing that BFN when you want a BFP sucks.
TTC since Jan 07. Dx with PCOS Jan 08
This
I do not envy your position, Me&MrT, but come on . . use your issue to help others not cut them down and tell them "What I'm going through is worse . . you can get some sympathy from me after one year" - which WAS your tone. Even if a year might be normal it doesn't make it any easier to push the thoughts of "what if" out of your mind.
And if you have to start a post with "not trying to be snarky" then you probably are.
THIS!!!! makes you wonder why all the "older" Central PA Nesties are no longer posting here.
This exactly.
One month, four years, however long it takes every baby is a precious gift and well worth the wait. Good luck to all those trying to have a baby. I wish I could even try, being truly infertile really sucks.
I echo summerbridesara!
Well said Denise (and Jen... and Christina...and Allie...). And way to give support Mrs.T...you would think someone that has been there would know better. The tone of your OP was very condescending: "...but it has only been 4 months". Would you want someone saying to YOU that it has only been 2 and a 1/2 years??? There are women on this board who have been TTC longer than you have...didn't realize it was a competition.
Since everyone is so "Over" this board, then whey did you all come on JUST to say that you're over it?
I think that futuremrscohick had every right to ask the question that she did and Abbie gave her side of the story, trying to help her out. They had a little misscommunication and they solved it. Everyone should just settle down. If you're over the board, then don't post anymore!
Really Ky? Last time I checked it's called freedom of speech and this IS a public message board so I don't think you have the right to tell anyone not to post here anymore so your post added nothing but more drama to this.
Denise and Jen are right...a little compassion would be nice. When you're ready to become a mother it doesn't matter how long you've been trying because it's frustrating regardless.
First of all, I NEVER said people couldn't post on this board. You're right, it IS a public board and anyone can post but I just didn't understand why everyone came out of the woodwork JUST to say that they are done posting on this board when they haven't posted in forever.
Also, I never EVER said anything about the whole TTC thing. All I said was that the OP had every right to post what she did, and Abbie gave her some information.
I have compassion for the OP AND for Abbie, for anyone who is trying, be it 4 months or 3 years. Its hard no matter what.