Can't Enjoy Being on Top?

Re: Can't Enjoy Being on Top?

• Tracy K

  March 2010

  You may have a touch of what I have.  It's called Vaginismus.  You can go to vaginismus.com and get a kit to help you overcome, plus have access to a GREAT very helpful forum.  Basically your pc muscles tighten in an involuntary response to anything penetrating causing pain from moderate to severe.  The full program is about $100 - but they'll work with you if you can't afford that much.  Just email them and talk to them about it.  You get a book, companion workbook, set of 4 dilators, and access to the forum.  I've been working on it for a while, and it's still painful to an extent, but we're not through yet.  It's gone from 0% penetration possible to full if I take it slow and easy. : )
  

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• Teeny-Tiny

  March 2010

   Sometimes being on top feels best to me (especially when my cervix is closed and prepping for ovulation so sex is more uncomfortable), because I have more control over speed/depth, etc. It DOES hurt me however, if I am on top and my husband is lying down. Try having your husband sit up (leaning against the head-board of your bed, or the back of a couch or against a wall) while you are on top, and make sure you are the one in control of the speed, just to see if it doesn't hurt so much. Just start out slowly, use lots of lube, and be patient. Something else that I think a lot of women forget to take into account is how often they are having sex. Sometimes the longer lengths of time you wait between engaging in intercourse, the harder it is to get turned on/orgasm/enjoy sex the next time you do engage in it.

  Otherwise, like many of the other ladies on here, I would suggest taking a trip to your obgyn/midwife to see if you might have a medical conditon that can easily be remedied. I do know a lot of women who also are just a bit smaller inside than their husband is long, and that can cause pain as well. There are so many different things that can cause pain, unfortunately. I hope you figure it out soon, I know how frustrating painful sex can be!

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• jadeorchid21

  March 2010

  Make sure you go to a doctor ASAP! If there are any other symptoms besides painful sex, there could be a medical reason for it. ( Vaginal scarring or even endometriosis)

   

  Good Luck!
  

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• Samantha D.

  March 2010

  Well, let me just say that foreplay is the key...there are a lot of things that I find either painful or even overstimulating, to the point of not being fun, and what it takes is for us to get me excited.  My H enjoys getting me off cause he likes the power it gives him, but also once I'm warmed up I can do a lot of things.  Oh and maybe a glass of wine for that little voice in your head that won't shut up and let things happen.  Not too much cause you don't want to puke or pass out, but just enough to warm your cheeks and your lips.

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