Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Turned off
My husband does have a blood phobia, and it's kind of unspoken between us that he's not a huge fan of sex during those few days in the month. My long-term ex boyfriend, on the other hand, didn't care at all. Having experienced it both ways, I honestly don't have much of a preference. If I'm really feeling horny now and I'm on my period, generally we have sex anyway and keep the lights off. When we're done I make sure to grab him some tissues and throw them away for him so he doesn't have to see or interact with much blood, (I know I sound really coddling right now but blood makes him want to pass out).
I also never have a very heavy period. The days it is heaviest are generally days that I have cramping so we don't often do it those days, but on the last couple days when we have gone ahead and done it you can barely even tell afterward. I personally think having sex when you're on your period is better than him having to go down on me or use hands in that area. I say you just don't tell him one day when you're light and see if he notices, (one of the first times we ever had sex I was on the last day of my period and just kept my mouth shut! He never knew...)
Neither DH nor I really want to go there when I'm on my period. There's a weird dichotomy there: I'm horny out the wazoo, but the idea of sex on my period makes me feel like the least attractive person on the planet. And it does gross him out. It's actually about the only thing I've ever found that truly grosses him out, interestingly enough. If he can't see what's up, we're good, but the sight of it... Can't say I blame him, really, since it grosses me out a bit, too.
We aim for shower sex, sex toward the tail end or very beginning when my flow is really light or mutual manual play the rest of the time (I use tampons almost exclusively.
I will say that this was something that I didn't realize about DH until we were married because previously I had avoided period sex like the plague. It hurt me so badly when he first told me how he felt, in large part because it happened in the middle of a lovemaking session. So I understand how you might be feeling now and how hard much what he's told you hurts. But it is something you can work through if you both want to. And it doesn't have to result in a week of BJs for him. *rolls eyes*
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Well said.
My DH and I tried period sex once to see how we felt about it, but he is a little grossed out by it and I feel fat and ugly when I'm on my period as well. You need to talk about it and figure out what exactly grosses him out. Is it the sight? Turn out the lights and put a towel under you. Is it the thought? That one is harder to work with. I don't think you need to "seriously reconsider your engagement" as some others have said. I'm assuming you've had many discussions and compromises in your relationship to make it to the engagement stage---this is just another problem to work through together and find a solution. I'd say get him to agree to try it at least once (preferably on one of your light days) and see what you both think. You may discover you don't like it either.