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My husband is the pickiest eater in the world!!!!
So, my husband only likes about 5 meals to include: beef tacos, beef-maranara spaghetti, steaks with french fries, cheeseburgers & hotdogs with french fries, & frozen pizza. So, here I am stuck in a rut, because I have all of these recipes that I want to try, but cannot try because they don't fit his criteria. For instance, tonight I made the beef-maranara spaghetti but I treaked it ever so lightly instead of using white pasta noodles I got the kind thats multigrain....well before I could even get the food on the plate he was raising hell about, 'I can't believe that you would try to get me to eat that kind of spaghetti.....like I deviated that much from his 5 meal rules. We've almost been married for a year, and I'm already tired to catering to his silly needs....its not that he's allergic to any food he says, "it's the texture" but I think its a cop-out because I'm trying to cook more nutritiously for both of us. He's acting like a 3 yr old baby. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can make us both happy without me going insane??? Please help me????
Thanks,
~Kristin~
Re: My husband is the pickiest eater in the world!!!!
I've seen my dad make my mom miserable over this my whole life, so I knew I could never marry someone who was picky about food. So, that sucks.
Don't cook for him, is all I can say. My mom has been nagging my dad to try ANYTHING, even rice for God's sake (I introduced my mom to CHinese food and she loves it, but never gets to eat it). The nagging never worked, nothing, and dad turns his nose up at everything she makes that is the least bit ethnic. And my mom rolls over and takes it. She's been dealing with this for over 30 years, and it has never improved.
If he doesn't like what YOU cook, he can eat cereal. This is going to be a lifelong battle if you don't nip it in the bud now, and from my experience, I KNOW how big of a deal this can be. My mom feels like she's walking on eggshells around my dad - as you are now.
Ugh. Dealbreaker.
Seriously---just make whatever you want. Keep a package of hot dogs and some frozen pizzas in the fridge/freezer. If he doesn't like what you cooked, he can make one of those for himself.
Why would you risk your own health (not to mention sacrifice your own food desires every.single.night for the rest of your life) for absolutely no good reason?
My husband once sat and bitched about the meal I had put in front of him.
I picked it up and walked away. He said, "what are you doing?" I said, "You don't want it, so it's going to be my lunch tomorrow"
He asked for it back and has never bitched again.
Now to be fair I think it's reasonable to accommodate some dislikes. My DH really doesn't like chilli while I love it. So our compromise is that I don't cook it as often as I would like to eat it (ie I would cook it once a week but instead cook it about once a month) and when I do DH sucks it up and eats it.
I also think it's reasonable to discuss thoughts on a meal in an adult manner. I don't mind if DH expresses a preference for a certain vegetable, meat, or preparation style. If he says, "That was good but I prefer it spicier" or "I prefer it when you use vege x rather than vege y in this."
In instances like that he's not being whiney he's just expressing an opinion and I'm ok with that as long as he has STFU in the first instance and graciously eaten then meal in front of him.
I'm not going to have my entire menu dictated to me with no flexibility.
DH learnt long ago that if he doesn't like what I cook that I'll point him in the direction of the kitchen and that I'm not afraid to take the "offensive" food off him.
Stop cooking for him.
Nicely, but firmly let him know that you are unhappy with the current situation. That it is extremely UNFAIR OF HIM to FORCE YOU to eat a limited diet because of HIS inabitly to eat a varied and healthy diet.
Ask him why HIS culinary likes/dislikes are MORE IMPORTANT that YOURS?
And then let him know that since BOTH of you are allowed to eat what you like, you are going to separate the cooking duties from now on. Let him know (if and only if you are the shopper of the family) that you will make sure that there are ingredients for his meals in the house, but that from now on, you will be cooking what you like.
Also let him know that you would LOVE to have him try anything you make.
Then actually follow through. DO NOT let him guilt you into cooking for him at all.
Just wanted to add my FIL would only ever eat meat and 3 vege type meals, he would never try anything "different".
MIL often made 2 meals and also catered to SIL who followed in her dad's footsteps for pickiness.
She once suggested I make two meals when I said DH prefers his food spicier to how I like mine. I just about fell about laughing. I would never fall into the trap of making two meals.
I would not sign up for a lifetime of this.
How about alternating nights for cooking? Neither one of you gets to b!tch about what the other cooks. Maybe this would help him appreciate your culinary efforts a little more. He can't cook? Mom always cooked for him? Then he forfeits his opportunity to eat a la a three-year old.
Seriously, this has to stop.
Not for nothing, but this guy seems like he is a controlling immature baby.
Stop cooking his 5 meals. Make whatever delicious culinary creation you want to. Offer him some, and if he declines he can make his own dinner.
I am a picky eater. Although I am not nearly as picky as your H, I will always try new foods. Most of the time, I don't like the foods I try, but I at least give them an honest shot. The fact that he won't even try things makes him stubborn and leads me to believe that controlling what you cook is him expressing his desire to control you.
He sounds like a child rebelling against his mother.
YOU: "No sweetie, I am not trying to make you eat anything. I cooked a very nice meal for dinner. You are welcome to enjoy a plate or prepare something else for yourself." That's how adults talk to each other.
And frankly, all of those meals spound like kid foods.
The only rut you are stuck in is the one you where you have to cook for him with these rules. And I use the word "cook" loosely because those foods don't really require much (if any) cooking, sounds more like "heating".
Just curious - so what did you do/say after he raised hell about the pasta? Apologize, cook something else? Shrug and leave him to boil his own pasta?
He's acting like a 3-year-old baby because he's been enabled his entire life, first by his mommy and now by his wife (his surrogate mommy). You have two choices: you can stop enabling him or you can continue to enable him and quit bitching. You knew what you were signing up for when you agreed to marry him, unless this was indeed an arranged marriage and you had never shared a meal together until your wedding reception dinner, which obviously consisted only of tacos, steak, spaghetti, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, French fries, and frozen pizza.
Your H is actually at the bottom of the list of people who can be blamed for this childish behavior. You, however, are not.
I was thinking that too - what, is he 12? And yes, he is being manipulative and controlling - THAT'S why it's a dealbreaker.
And he's in for a lifetime of health issues and heart disease if he doesn't man up and stop acting like a kid.
UGH. I'm going to go hug my H now who says "thank you" after EVERY meal I make and will eat anything and love it. I knew I couldn't tolerate any less.
My 5 year old nephew is less picky AND less of a d-bag when he doesn't like something.
Okay, my DH is a picky eater as well...however, I refuse to bend over backwards for him. That doesn't mean that I will always make him fend for himself, but it means that I also won't not eat what I want.
For example, he doesn't eat fish...so when he doesn't eat fish, I will buy a small steak for him and he can grill that with the sides. Or sometimes he doesn't like the veggies I cook for a side and so I will throw on some Annie's mac and cheese for him to have as a side. However, I don't cook completely different meals...if he really hates what I am cooking, he can have cereal.
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
I am an extremely picky eater so our solution is we either go out a lot or just make separate meals. For us that works, but I understand not everyone else can do that. We also aren't people who enjoy cooking, so that helps.
Has your DH tried other foods and just doesn't like them? Or is he just dead set on his 5 things? I'd probably just keep a stock of the things he likes in the freezer and have him do his own thing most nights. If you're trying to cook though, I'm sure it's frustrating only cooking for one person. Maybe you can compromise where some nights it's hot dog and beer night and then on the other nights, he is willing to try what you make. You can start simple and make just a slight deviation from his normal likes.
My aunt married a picky eater and she's a wonderful cook. She makes wonderful meals and if he doesn't want to eat it, she heats up a frozen pizza for him while she's cooking. It not like she's making two different meals.
The good news is that he tried some of what she makes and has slightly expanded his list of foods he will eat.
I would also combine. If he wants steak and french fries, you can do a baked potato and a salad for yourself. Encourage him to try some of what you are making and see if that helps any.
I agree with the previous posts about you making whatever you want, and if your husband wants something else, he needs to make it himself.That's not to say that once or twice a week you can't make something he will eat, but certainly don't accomodate him 24/7.
What does he eat for breakfast?
I would strongly suggest making sure he has life insurance, given what he eats. Scratch that - if I were you, I would demand it.
Your DH is being totally unreasonable. Why on earth do you need to cater to his infantile food aversions? There is no justifiable reason he cannot try new foods. He's being immature and selfish. However, you are letting him get away with it, so you are at fault too.
Cook what you like and offer it to him. If he tries it and likes it, great. If not, he can cook for himself. My DH is a picky eater too, but he does not expect me to cater to his pickiness b/c he understands that most people eat more than 5 types of foods. After 6 years of marriage, he has gotten pretty good about trying whatever I cook. He doesn't always eat it, but when he doesn't he makes himself something he likes. He knows better than to ask me to only make food he likes.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I am curious how long you knew him before getting married. What did he eat then? Did you expect him to change after you got married?
( I dont think it was in your wedding vows that you had to cook for him either!)
Hi,
I'm normally a lurker but couldn't help but to respond to this post. When my husband and I started dating he was an extremely picky eater. He would only eat white bread, meat-heavy meals, and potato products (mashed, fried, etc). Almost ten years later he is eating a primarily vegetarian diet, consumes lots of whole grains (no white bread) and is willing to try most anything at least once. The change didn't happen over night, but with gentle encouragement, and with me setting a good example, he eventually did change his habits.
I agree that you should not be catering to him during every single meal. His diet is unhealthy and it puts too much stress on you. What I would suggest is that you sit down with him and make a list of foods he likes. From there start to work together on new meal ideas. Try using the same ingredients but in different ways. Slowly start introducing very simple changes or additional ingredients. If you can, try cooking together. Finally, you can do nothing to change his eating habits without his cooperation. He has to be willing. All of the nagging in the world will not change his mind.
If he is still unwilling to try new things, throw in the frozen pizza for him and continue to make healthy dishes for yourself. The best thing you can do is lead by example.
Good luck!
I used to have the same problem. Over the course of a few weeks I replaced margerine with butter, white bread with whole wheat bread, stopped buying sugary cereals etc... One day DH just flipped and said he wanted his old food back. I then realized that I can't force him to be healthy but he can't force me to compromise my health either so now I make my own thing for dinner and if DH doesn't want any he'll make his own.
Since I've stopped forcing my dinners on him he's been more open to trying the dinners I make. He doesn't always like it but when he does I make it a point to cook it more frequently.
Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d