Sex & Romance
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Re: Do you fake it? If so why?
How would I feel if DH faked it? There's no way he could, I can tell when he O's. But if it's not going to happen for him, he tells me and its ok.
Yes, I fake it from time to time. I don't always O but that doesn't make DH selfish and it doesn't mean he isn't trying to please me. Sex with DH is more that just "getting mine", IMO.
Hello all:
I'm new here, I introduced myself a few months ago but haven't posted much since. This topic really interested me!
I find it extremely difficult to "O". It's to the point where it's more fun for me to just enjoy sex without the big finale. It's fun either way!!
I DO fake it quite a bit, just to keep his morale up. But I'm starting to feel guilty about it. Should I? I don't think that at this point in our relationship I should tell him I've basically been lying this whole time. But I don't think that I should continue faking it so much. Any thoughts??
I am shocked by a lot of these replies. I honestly don't think that I could have married my H if he couldn't make me O. Our relationship is not based on sex at all, but sex is a part of a marriage and not just for making babies. When we are having sex for pleasure, I expect us to be pleasured.
To answer the question, I have never faked it nor has H. We are very open with each other about sex and tell each other if we do or don't like something. And if during sex it's not working, we switch it around and try a new position or speed or something else to make it work. I have O'd every time we've ever had sex and most of the time do multiple times. If you aren't O'ing, you need to have a discussion with your H/SO and figure out how to make it happen, esp if you can make yourself O. Sex should be pleasurable for both people involved, not just one. And neither person should be lied to about how they do....if they suck, find a way to tell them and make it better.
Personally, I don't think sex is about whether or not you "get yours". It about connecting with another person in the most intimate way possible.
DH says that if it doesn't feel good for me, it doesn't feel good for him. I feel the same way. If we're both trying to please the other, sex is way better than if we were only trying to please ourselves. Since this is the case, we communicate very well in bed. I tell him what I like and he does the same for me; that way we both enjoy ourselves. I would never fake it because we love each other enough to tell each other what we like without fear of rejection.
If you're in a situation where you think you have to fake it, you've got some problems in your relationship.
yeppers. only hores lower their husband's self-esteem.
My god, I can't believe how many of you hated on the original poster for what she said. Clearly the post was about faking or not faking, it doesn't sound to me like she's denying her husband of the cooch. But if she weren't cumming often enough, why shouldn't she?
I for one, don't want my husband to think of me as a fleshlight. If we're having sex, it needs to be mutually beneficial. Does that make me selfish? I don't think so. If your marriage or relationship wasn't mutually beneficial in some way or another, would you be together? Only if you're just that desperate.
And really? You think she's so selfish that her marriage won't last? Maybe you need to look at your own marriage - sounds like she's got good communication with her man, and some of you are faking?... Stop being so critical of people you don't know.
Good golly molly, woman!!! Why do you think you were put on this earth? For the benefit of your husband!!! You should be honored to "fake it" for the head of the household. It is the very least you can do.
Good golly molly, woman!!! Why do you think you were put on this earth? For the benefit of your husband!!! You should be honored to "fake it" for the head of the household. It is the very least you can do.
Happy Belated April Fool's Day.
I was waiting for someone to see my point. DH and I have a great marriage and an even better sex life!! I mean I may have come across a little harsh and honestly I said a lot of things jokingly. That being I said, I really feel like there is a problem if you have to time after time fake it and accept not being to O. It is something that every woman should experience, all the time!! If you're not you need to find out what will make you and have fun figuring it out:)
It's hard for alot of us to comprehend, but it really is very difficult for some women to orgasm (nearly impossible for some, and rarely, some will never orgasm in their life). This doesn't mean they have an inadequate partner, or that they don't enjoy sex, it just means that most of the time, orgasming isn't a part of it, and it's fine for them. There are different things to try that might help, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. So long as you're both enjoying it, have at it.
Here's another forum that has some comments & suggestions on the matter: http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic40046.html
All that being said, I think it's more important to be open and honest about it. If you're a woman that has difficulty orgasming, explain it to your partner and let them know it's not their faullt. Don't fake it just for the sake of their self-esteem, because it'll only be worse if they then realize what's happening.
Thank you! This is all I was saying - I don't like that I've faked it either! I don't want to tell my husband that but I DO want to move away from it and try to figure out what my problem is.
Just because I can't have an orgasm when we have sex does NOT mean that there is a problem in my marriage. It was kind of insulting that so many people jumped to that conclusion. The only problem that I can see is the fact that I have lied about it. The truth is, I was much younger when we first started sleeping together and obviously didn't think it through.
I didn't realize that this board was like this - it seemed like more of a "moral support" kind of board at first glance. But thanks for the link. Hopefully that will help.
There is something seriously wrong with people that believe having sex and pleasing their husbands is their duty. In a loving a respectful relationship it is mutual love and affection that leads to sex and your husband should be equally conserned about pleasing you. No woman is a vessel for sperm. That is ridiculous. This is not the 1700's. Not all sex is about procreation. I have been on birth control for 5 years and will continue to do so until me and my husband are ready to start our family.
Some women fake it to make their partners feel better. But really they are hurting their relationship. The men are being lied to and their egos take a major blow when they eventually figure out that their wive has been faking. And the wife has been denying herself because if she didn't fake then they would have eventually figured out what worked for her- which would lead to a more enjoyable satisfying sex life.
I don't orgasm everytime and that's okay. Most of the time I do- sometimes 2 or 3 times. But sometimes it's just not in the cards because I'm too tired or stressed out. But he understands that and sometimes (rarely) it's the same for him.