Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Virgin question...
I know your question has been amply answered here, but I just wanted to add to the supporters of your question. It's not something that gets addressed regularly I don't think. My husband and I waited until our wedding night and the only reason I knew about the dreaded wet spot was because a friend of mine made it her mission to tell her virgin friends about the stuff she didn't know about sex until she was married.
We keep a "sex towel" under our bed and I also go to bathroom relatively shortly after we have sex. I would recommend sitting on the toilet for just a little longer than normal (even after you're done peeing) just to let extra slip on out. If I don't do this, it all comes out gradually for at least 15 minutes and it's a pain. It'll all just depend on how much your DH ejaculates.
Caleb Jonathan
Born November 30, 2011
The Winking of an Eye
A blog about the mommyhood, wifehood and lifehood of a misplaced Minnesotan in SoCal
Being from MS, I take offense to this. BTW, we didn't have an official "sex ed" class at my school. However, I knew anything I would have learned in a sex ed class by the time I was out of middle school. People talk. Curiosity leads to questions and answers. Just because you don't have a sex-ed class doesn't mean that you are completely oblivious to anything sex-related. Oh, and FYI, basic reproduction is taught in biology....not just in sex-ed. Your comment was completely unnecessary. The OP was asking a serious, legit question. This board is for anything sex-related, which definately applies to the question asked.
As for the OP, the amount of ejaculate differs with each person. We keep a cloth by the bed that I hold under me until I get to the bathroom. After peeing (which you should do regardless of whether you use condom or not, to prevent UTI), I never have any more issues with leakage.
I agree with this (well, except for the sex ed thing; no sex ed at my Catholic school, and wet spots weren't something my parents covered in The Sex Talk). I've been with DH for ... seven years come Monday (***, I have to get an anniversary something for him!!!), and we still haven't had sex sans condoms or him pulling out. So, at 25, I've had lots of sexual experience but leakage of the sort the OP was asking about hasn't been an issue. I don't think I'd heard of it before I started hanging out at the Knot and here.
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I don't think Maybride meant MS as in the state of Mississippi, I think she meant MS as in MIDDLE SCHOOL. LOL.
LMAO
My bad, it's been a long week!
lol
I am a lurker for the most part. And must say, I cannot believe the answers that are given to some of these questions, on these boards. IT IS A MESSAGE BOARD. Meant for questions. And not snide, smart ass answers.
I agree it is NOT a stupid question. My husband is 33. I am not his first, and up till recently he knew nothing of leakage. Having sex doesnt make you an expert at all the mechanics of it. Some things just dont cross your mind until its happened.
Really ladies?
my advice to OP, lurk a while longer, do searches on the nest for key words that you are about to ask, and read some answers before asking your questions. you will get an idea how nesties respond.
also, i dont think it was unreasonable for her to ask, and i dont think it was unreasonable for the posters to be snarky. that is the dynmic of the nest dot com.
i remember once, when i was a teenager, after having had sex, i thought "the wet spot" referred to the sheets being wet from sweating so much.
sperm leaking out isnt something that you think about before having sex. and as pp said, some dont think about it until they stop using condoms.
ditto the helpfull pps that suggested towels, tissues, going pee. i like flushable wipes, theyre like baby wipes but they can be flushed. (i like the cottonelle brand,, not the scott brand, tho)
ditto about how her FI may have never thought about or dealt with leakage, its more of a womans issue usually. hopefully, he used condpms also.
I just want to say that I did not have sex until I was 24...and to help this OP out, I didn't know that happened during sex either. Actually when it did happen I didn't even ask my gfs thinking it was either normal or I was too embarrassed to ask. after reading on here I found that it is very normal. and yes we always make sure we have Kleenex or toilet paper for us after sex, and sometimes I found I do have to wear a panty liner for a few hrs after.
to the girl who did the OP, please keep asking questions, dont be ashamed of being a virgin! and def if you can talk to your FI about everything.
OP- I was a virgin when I got married too. My mom even discussed stuff the week of my wedding. She forgot to mention the leaking thing because its small & for a virgin probably the least important issue on her mind. I know I didn't think of it. Kudos to you for wanting to be informed and even if it was just through the grapevine it takes courage to come online to ask.
We keep paper towels by the bed so that I can get to the bathroom without leaking on the floor. Simple. I also wear a panty liner for the rest of the day/night. Remember to go to the restroom after sex to avoid a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) or bladder infection. When you are done urinating wipe from front to back.
We also have designated sex sheets for AF and other fluids. They are white so that we can bleach them. You don't have to completely change the bedding, just fold up the sheet and place it under your bottom. Its not completely leak-proof but it does work most of the time to keep our good sheets clean.
For your wedding night you might want to take an OTC painkiller prior to sex. It will help with the soreness afterward. Also, shop around for some lubricant so that things are wet enough for intercourse. I know when I was a virgin I was nervous so it made things a little bit dry. I would avoid warming lubes or spermicide (spermicide made my vagina burn
). Get a regular, run-of-the-mill lube and use generously.
I hope this helps. Remember that after the first time it gets a LOT better!
That's a pretty ignorant statement you made yourself.
First of all she only asked us to expand on a detail that occurs after sex and is cause by having sex.She did not ask how to have sex.
Regardless of the OP's question, anyone who is waiting until they are married (or ready) can Google as much stuff as they want but wont know certain things about it until they've actually experienced it.
So until they are having sex, they can "Pick up a book, go online and google it!" like you said, and just an FYI I'm pretty sure this message boards falls under going online.
@Maybride2
I am not the original poster, but please do not stereotype this woman! I was a virgin when I married at age 30 (my husband was not), but this was my CHOICE! My mom DID sign that permission slip you are talking about so I sat through all those health classes on reproduction. The difference was that my mom was also very candid about sex and that it is more than just a physical mashing of bodies.
I had my reasons for choosing to be a virgin bride, as I am sure the original poster has, and just as you had the choice to NOT be a virgin bride. And just a question - when you did decide to start having sex how much did YOU know about what actually happens?
Sheesh! There is nothing wrong with being a virgin! So, please do not project your choices on to others!