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Dr appt update= bad news

Today was the HB check at the Ob and they didn't find the HB... I am EXTREMELY sad. I've had no cramping,no bleeding, no symptoms of miscarriage at all... it's confusing to me because everything seemed fine... And of course my mom was in town and went with us because I thought it would be nice for her to see it... she was completely confused because she's never seen an ultrasound before. She didn't know why I was crying because she was listening to Bella jabber so DH had to tell her... 

Basically the baby stopped growing at 6weeks and the Hb never developed, that was 2 weeks ago. I have 3 choices, do nothing and wait until monday, have my OB insert cytotec (sp) to make my body miscarry or have a D&C. It's awful! I feel like I'm killing my baby even though it has no HB...  it's terrible. I've been crying since I left the office. DH and I talked about it and because the OB says that it's been 2 weeks and my body didn't even start the miscarriage process that I should pick one of the last 2 options. I'm at a loss and feel sad, what a terrible choice to have to make! DH and I picked the second because I don't want to have a surgery and be put under anesthesia if I don't have to... does anyone have experience with this? I have no idea what to expect...

DH has to work tonight so it'll just be Bella and I... I feel sad for her too because she keeps looking at me and I can't stop crying... shi**y day to say the least...

Lesson learned, next time we'll wait the full 12 weeks no matter what... 

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Re: Dr appt update= bad news

  • oh Sarah, I am so so sorry :(  I don't have any experience with this so I don't have advice on which option to choose but I know that if you post on the PG loss board they may be able to help you...also ask on the Infertility board on the bump, as I know many there will get a BFP but then no hb.  i know that if you do the D&C then they can test the baby to see if it was something completely random or if there was something genetic that you have to worry about...but i know that most women need to have that done until they have had multiple losses.

    big hugs, I am so sad for you and cannot imagine the emotions you must be feeling right now

  • OMG! I am so sorry, Sarah. I know this is a pregnant woman's worst nightmare :(. I know I can't say anything to make you feel better right now. *HUGS*.
  • I am so sorry.  It is so unfair when these things happen. 

    Wish there was something we could say or do to make it better for you.  :(  Big hugs to you & you are in my thoughts & prayers. 

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  • Oh Sarah, I am so incredibly sad to sit here and read this... I am at a loss for words and feel so devastated for you, Ryan and B.  There is nothing I can say to make you feel any better, I wish there was :(  Let yourself get through this process in any way that you can.  I've said it before and I will post it here... just know that the sun will shine for you again and it will get better.  Other than that, it breaks my heart, I am thinking of you and sending you the biggest hugs ever.
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  • sarah

    i am so sorry and sad for your loss.  cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through.

    with respect to your options, from personal experience i can tell you that i have had numerous d&cs  because of all of the hormonal problems i have had and i have never had one with anesthesia-i have done in my dr's office with muscle relaxers and pain meds.  the recovery was very quick-pretty much no unneccessary bleeding and on one occasion i even went to riding competition 2 days later and ribboned.

    my friend was in a similar situation to you and I believe she had the cytotec and went through the bleeding, cramps, etc...

    if you have any other questions with respect to a d&c i am more than happy to answer for you.  hope that the above is somewhat helpful

     you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    xo

  • I am so sorry to hear this.  Big ((hugs)) to you.

    I had a D&C many years ago after an incomplete miscarriage.  I wasn't put to sleep, I had twilight anesthesia.  I don't have any personal experience with Cytotec, but a friend of mine decided to use it to process her miscarriage that occured around 12wks.  They broke the pills up and inserted them vaginally.  I don't want to scare you, everyone is different, but it was very painful for her physically.  She was further along than you though.  Just make sure you get all the information on both procedures before you make a decision.

    Again, so sorry for your sadness.

  • Sarah I am so so so sorry you are going through this. Right Hug Hugs. I don't have personal experience with this but please don't view this killing your baby. You may want to select the option that is going to be the quickest so you don't experience much physical pain for a long period of time. Agian I'm so so sorry.
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  • imageliubride510:
    I don't think you should view it as killing your baby.

    I meant to bring this up too...  please don't think of it this way

  • Soooo sorry to hear this news Sarah.  Cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through.

    You are defintely in our thoughts and prayers.

     

     

     

  • I'm so sorry. I went through the exact same thing. It is odd how much your life is so similar to mine. I opted for the D&C. I was absolutely mortified to see the ultrasound as the tech searched for the heartbeat. I could not imagine having a miscarriage, because it seemed more traumatic (I freak out with blood... and the idea of seeing my baby in that state was not good). The D&C was perfect. It was like nothing had happened - physically. Emotionally, you will have a lot to go through no matter what you decide. It is a terrible loss. I am so sorry. You can email me or call me.
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  • I'm so sorry, Sarah.

    Something similar happened to me.  I had my first appointment and was hoping to see a h/b, but didn't see one.  My doctor thought that there was a chance that it was too early so I had to do blood work that day and again a few days later.  I had a followup appointment with him after my second blood draw and there was no h/b and my blood work showed that my numbers were decreasing.  It sucked because I had m/s and I felt pregnant. He told me that I could wait and see if my body would miscarry on its own or do a D&C.  I opted to do the D&C in the hospital.  

  • I am SO sorry this had to happen to you.  I cannot even imagine the heartbreak must feel.  I know that no words will help ease your pain, but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  I'm so very sorry :(
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  • Oh, Sarah, I am so very sorry.  :(
  • I am so very sorry this happed to you.  There are no words I can offer you but you are in my T&P

  • Thanks so much everyone for your support. This is very challenging! I think the only thing worse was finding out Bella was missing her left hand on the ultrasound... our poor tech was the same one we had last time. 

    I'm opting for the meds because my OB won't let me have a D&C unless I go under anesthesia and that makes me very nervous... Hopefully the meds won't be as dramatic as I'm picturing in my head...

  • Oh, I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family.  I can only imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling right now.  You are in all of our thoughts and prayers.
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  • Sarah,

     

    I am so sorry to hear this!  The same exact thing happened to me ? missed miscarriage. I had a d&c since my body did not go though the process naturally (3 weeks). I was not put under for my d&c and had to end up having two (very rare) since they did not get all the tissue the first time.  If you want to chat off line just message me via facebook.

     

    Hugs to you! I am so sorry!

  • I'm so sorry, Sarah.  (((HUGS)))
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  • I'm so sorry.  Wishing you lots of love and peace and sending big hugs.
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  • I am so sorry Sarah. . . sending you lots of hugs.  Will keep you and your beautiful family in my prayers
  • Sarah, I am so very sorry for you and your family. I am really at a loss for words. I will be keeping all of you in my prayers and wish healing for your hearts and peace for your minds. Please know that all of us on the board are here for you.
  • I'm so sorry. T&P for you and your family.
  • I am so sorry. t&p for you and your family

  • I am so very sorry.  My thoughts are with you.  Much love and hugs to you.
  • Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry hon :(

    I remember you were feeling especially vulnerable about this pregnancy.

    I wish I could give you a massive hug right now. Broken Heart 

  • imageSirenSong:

    Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry hon :(

    I remember you were feeling especially vulnerable about this pregnancy.

    I wish I could give you a massive hug right now. Broken Heart 

    I was, it's weird, it's like my body/heart was trying to tell me but didn't send enough signs, like visible signs... 

  • Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry to hear about this.   Can you take some time off with Bella and your husband?   I never understand why things like this happen to good people :(   Makes me incredibly sad.   Sending big hugs to your family.  
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  • Oh Sarah...I am so sorry.  I am thinking of you and your family...(((big hugs)))

    As for which method is best...I would go with whichever protects your millk supply since I know how important BFing is to you.  My friend had a blighted ovum and chose Cytotek.  She said the cramping felt just like hard, active labor but only lasted a few hours. She did take pain killers though and since you're BFing I am not sure which are best...maybe the ones they give c-section moms post partum?

    I hope you can take a couple of days off to just grieve, rest and process all of this.  I'm here for you...we all are.

  • Oh nooooo. Ack. I have no words... I am just really sorry to hear this. Sending hugs to you. Hold Bella close and hopefully her smile will give you the joy you need right now. 
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