Grand Rapids Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Is this weird to you? (a bit long)

A couple weeks ago my DH and I went out to dinner with one of his former coworkers (he is older- in his 50's).  He lives out of state but was looking for a part time assistant who lives in GR since he comes to GR on business once per month.   He asked me if I knew anyone or if I would consider the position.

I read the job description and put in my resume, but gave him some parameters if he were to hire me (ie: limited transportation since DH and I share a car and I can't start until later in the summer).  He wrote back that these were some obstacles and he needed someone sooner.  So then I wrote back and said yea I figured, but there are 8 people I know who might be interested. 

His reply was the weird part.  He wrote, "Not so fast young lady.   was only voicing potential roadblocks but these are always removebale or can be worked around.  Thanks for the names but let's talk more."

Young lady??  I found that to be patronizing.  DH said he was probably just trying to be endearing, but we were speaking professionally and I felt that it was not appropriate.  WDYT?

TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
SA February 2011: Normal
RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
Court trip October 2012
Home November 24 2012!

adoption blog: addingaburden.com

Adding a Burden

Re: Is this weird to you? (a bit long)

  • I'm with you. A bit patronizing and not appropriate giving the context of the message. I'm sure he meant in a endearing way but still.
  • I'm with your H.  It was weird, but I'm sure he meant it in an endearing way.
  • Weird? Yes. Unprofessional? Yes.

    Did he MEAN to be weird and unprofessional? No...I don't think so. I'm sure he meant well. I think he was trying to be friendly. Can you maybe explain to him that you prefer to be called Mrs. Lastname or even just Firstname? 

  • It sounds like he thinks of you on a personal level and not strictly professional. I don't think it's bad at all. You are a young lady compared to him :o)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic CafeMom Tickers
  • Yea I think he meant well- just rubbed me the wrong way.  Well, thanks for letting me get it off my chest!

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    adoption blog: addingaburden.com

    Adding a Burden
  • ChymesChymes member

    I think my reaction to something like that would depend on the rest of my relationship with this person. If he was a friendly guy and I felt relaxed around him, I would probably brush it off as a lapse in professional judgment. However, if I didn't feel entirely comfortable with him or if he was not a guy that I knew well, I'd be a bit more concerned and would keep my eyes open for other potential red flags when considering employment with him.

    Only you know how you feel about this guy.

    image
  • "All right old man, when are you free to discuss removing roadblocks?"

    Stick out tongue

    Willa 4.6.06 and Henry 10.18.08 Camp Sinki
  • duplicate, sorry.

    Willa 4.6.06 and Henry 10.18.08 Camp Sinki
  • I would be put off by his remark, too.  Things like that tend to really rub me the wrong way, too.  I agree with pp who said that he probably didn't mean it to be patronizing or unprofessional. 

     

  • Yes, I would be annoyed.  I'm really sensitive to that sort of thing though.  I was recently at a meeting where an older gentleman called me "dear" and I got quite offended by that, even though I'm quite sure that he didn't mean it in a demeaning way.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards