North Carolina Nesties
elissaann26
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can you please explain this?
I am wondering why it is such a faux pas to announce you are pregnant before completing your first trimester.
Is it because there is a higher chance of miscarrying? Well, I'm just thinking that why should that be such a horrible thing to admit or share with people in your life. I would think you would need support and such during that time. I do completely get not telling work since there could be negative impacts to your job. But I guess the whole secretive thing just seems weird to me.
Re: Can you please explain this?
Yes, the risk of a miscarriage is higher in the first trimester. I agree with telling family at least. With our first pregnancy we told family almost right away, and while it was hard to have to call them all back and tell them about the m/c, I needed their support. I would have told them about the miscarriage anyway, so I don't really get keeping the pregnancy a secret. That's just me though.
Now, I do see not announcing it to everyone else.
Like PP said, it seems to vary by couple.
And I don't think it's b/c they don't want support. It just seems like if a couple has told a lot of people and then something does happen it's even harder to have to go back and tell everyone that knows. It's like driving the knife a little deeper every time they have to tell someone what happened to the baby.
I have a friend who told everyone she knew as soon as she took the home test & her DH told a lot of people too. Then she had a m/c and it was really hard on her to have to call everyone. She got pg again not long after that and waited a little longer before she told. The second pregnancy was great and she now has a 2 yr old, but she didn't want to put herself through all the pain again. Just in case.
I was just thinking about this because I am a horrible secret keeper, especially when it is news that I'd like to share. With a few of our neighbors we figured out they were pregnant before it was announced (due to lack of drinking) and it was so awkward to "out" them. But at the same time it seemed like they were so relieved once we knew. So when it happens, we'll definitely tell our families and probably some close friends/neighbors. And then wait longer to make the official announcement to the whole world.
No one but my Dr, Therapist and DH knew both times I was pregnant. First time was because I found out in right after Thanksgiving and we thought it would be a wonderful Christmas present to all (but ended up losing that pregnancy) and the second time (I found out I was pregnant on my birthday), but due to my first miscarriage and because it took us almost a year to get pregnant again we decided to keep it hush hush until at least 12 weeks, but unfortunately I lost that pregnancy as well.
I did not tell anyone about my m/c until about 2 years ago. I ended up telling my mom, because she would not stop asking me for grand-babies and I had tried every other way to get her to stop asking.
If and that is unfortunately a big IF I ever get pregnant again, we will probably keep it a secret until at least 14 or 16 weeks. I am a big girl and could probably easily hide it from the people around me.
We told everyone after we got the all clear at 8wks. Then 10days later, I had a car accident and lost the baby. Untelling people wasn't even so bad, it was what all the nimrods had to say about the loss that left me wanting to stab someone in the eye with a soldering iron.
This time around, there are still people who don't know and I'm 19 1/2 wks.