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fence etiquette?

When we moved into our home, one of our top priorities was to fence in our backyard.  The back edge was fenced, the side between one neighbor was fenced, and we had small portions fenced on either side of the house, separating the front and back yards.

However, within about a month of moving in, our next door neighbor fenced in their yard.  Thus, we gained fencing on the last side of our home, and our entire backyard was enclosed.

They gave us the "nice" side, with the pickets, and the side facing their property was the back side, that has beams running across horizontally.

I thought that this was good etiquette.  I thought if you fenced in your backyard along the property line, you were supposed to give your neighbor the "nice" side.

Fast forward to today.  Our neighbor is outside removing the fence which is on the property line, and flipping it.  They are taking the "good side" and giving us the "back side".

Is this appropriate?  I'm really annoyed, because it won't look as good.  I just don't know if my annoyance is justified.

The fence separating our property from the other neighbors, doesn't have a front or back side, so both are nice.  It's a different type of fence.

Then the fence on the back of our property lines the woods, so we obviously have the nice side facing our yard.

What's proper fence etiquette?  If you put up a fence on the property line, are you supposed to give your neighbor the nice side?

Am I crazy for being annoyed that they're removing the fence, flipping it, and giving us the side with the brackets and beams?

ETA:  Also, how do you handle structures like this that are on property lines?  DH went to let the dog out, and had to stop quickly, because the fence had been taken down.  What if the fence is down for days?  I understand they purchased it and put it in, but wouldn't it be excessive to have our own layer of fence, back to back against theirs?  I've never seen such a thing.  Ha, I just feel sort of violated, having our backyard so open right now.  Usually the dog is outside enjoying the sun.

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Re: fence etiquette?

  • Your neighbors should definitely be giving you the 'nice' side of the fence.  How much have they already put up?
  • I would let all of it go, since it is their fence.  I'd just be thankful I didn't have to pay for it.  If you really want the nice side facing you, let them know that they should move their fence a few feet off of the property line so that you can put up your own fence.
  • imagewhit940:
    Your neighbors should definitely be giving you the 'nice' side of the fence.  How much have they already put up?

    All but one panel.  Sad

    I know it's theirs, and at this point I can't do anything about it.  I wouldn't fight it, I just really wanted to know what the norm was.

    image
  • Have you paid them anything for the fence?  If not, you can't really be annoyed, they've paid they can do what they want with the fence (although it seems like a lot of work to me).  Here, all fences go on the property and each side pays half.  our fences have always looked the same on both sides, not sure if that means we're using more wood or building a different style but we don't have a good or bad side.

     

  • I don't really know what etiquette is for fences.  Our backyard is all fenced in and the nice side faces the neighbors, I think it would look weird for it to be the other way around, I have never seen fencing like that before.  Brackets are always on the interior around here.  Otherwise someone could easily scale the fence from the outside and hop into the yard, kind of defeats the point of a fence.  

    our neighbors have all branched off from our fence, and one recently painted/stained the side of it that is in her yard.  I don't really care since we can't see it, but technically it is our fence...we could take it down at any time.   

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    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
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    imagekmap24:

    Have you paid them anything for the fence?  If not, you can't really be annoyed, they've paid they can do what they want with the fence (although it seems like a lot of work to me).  Here, all fences go on the property and each side pays half.  our fences have always looked the same on both sides, not sure if that means we're using more wood or building a different style but we don't have a good or bad side.

     

    Ditto this.  I've also never heard of any kind of fence etiquette that requires the person paying for the fence to give the neighbors (who will be benefiting from the fence for free) the "nice" side.  What kind of logic is that?

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  • imagekmap24:

    Have you paid them anything for the fence?  If not, you can't really be annoyed, they've paid they can do what they want with the fence (although it seems like a lot of work to me).  Here, all fences go on the property and each side pays half.  our fences have always looked the same on both sides, not sure if that means we're using more wood or building a different style but we don't have a good or bad side.

     

    This is the type of fence that has a "back" side, where the beams and brackets are.  This is the side that was always facing their home, and is now going to be facing ours:

    image 

    This is a different type of fence which we have on the other side of our property.  There is no back side.  Both sides of the fence look identical.

    image 

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  •  It is their fence and you get the benefit without the costs, so I'm not sure I would even make this an issue. 

    If you are bothered by it you can always put up your own fence .

    On a side note I prefer fences that do not have a good and bad side to avoid such issues.

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  • imagepugznploons:

    our neighbors have all branched off from our fence, and one recently painted/stained the side of it that is in her yard.  I don't really care since we can't see it, but technically it is our fence...we could take it down at any time.   

    Did they ask before they painted it?

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  • imagelyndausvi:

     It is their fence and you get the benefit without the costs, so I'm not sure I would even make this an issue. 

    I'm definitely not going to make an issue.  I'm just trying to understand what's typical practice.  I was worried I was internally upset for no reason.

    Still annoyed, but it sounds like I really shouldn't be.

    Too bad they got their fence up first!

    I do like the input about safety.  It sounds like it's better to have the flat side facing out.

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  • Fences are expensive, if I put one up I would definitely keep the good side for myself. I get why your neighbors want that.

     I do, however, find it extremely rude that they did not tell you. Our neighbors did the same thing a few months ago and I thought it was inappropriate. 

  • I would also like to point out that this doesn't bother me enough to ever consider putting up our own fence on that side.

    Things are too tight on that side of the house as is.  I wouldn't want to pull in our usable space any further.

    ETA:  I do realize this was a huge perk for us, as we didn't have to spend money on fencing in that side of the house.  Even though we were prepared to do so.

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  • no, however, at some point in the past she may have, she recently replaced part of her fence and had all of the fence around her yard stripped and then she stained/painted it herself.  So she was basically just changing the stain that was already there.  Maybe she asked the previous owners the first time she did it?  

    it really doesn't matter much to me.  When we strip/stain our fence next year though I don't know what well do, should we do the outside of our fence too?  the outside is adjacent to the fences of 4 other homes surrounding us. 

    I think we will probably just stain the inside and the outside part that is on our property and is visible from the street. my only concern is that we are not best preserving the fence this way, as some sides will still have the old stain on them.  

    fences are confusing!!! 

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    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
  • you can always stand up on the the brackets and look over their fence to see what is going on.  Then they will realize they should have just left it alone.
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  • In our city you are required to give your neighbor the good side of the fence.  However if you don't want to create a stink you could ask them if they minded if you added boards to your side of the fence so it looked finished on your side as well.
  • imageBetsyandWilliam:

    Fences are expensive, if I put one up I would definitely keep the good side for myself. I get why your neighbors want that.

     I do, however, find it extremely rude that they did not tell you. Our neighbors did the same thing a few months ago and I thought it was inappropriate. 

    It really caught me off guard.  I think having had the nice side facing us all along has been great.  Having that change literally overnight is sad.  Sad

    Had we started with the "back" side of the fence from the get go, I probably wouldn't have put as much thought into it.

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  • imageSunRocks:
    imagelyndausvi:

     It is their fence and you get the benefit without the costs, so I'm not sure I would even make this an issue. 

    I'm definitely not going to make an issue.  I'm just trying to understand what's typical practice.  I was worried I was internally upset for no reason.

    Still annoyed, but it sounds like I really shouldn't be.

    Too bad they got their fence up first!

    I do like the input about safety.  It sounds like it's better to have the flat side facing out.

     I would be annoyed as well, but there is nothing you can do now.  Too bad they didn't discuss this with you before replacing the fence.  You could have possibly split the cost and built the second type of fence that doen't have a bad side.

  • imagepugznploons:

    I think we will probably just stain the inside and the outside part that is on our property and is visible from the street. my only concern is that we are not best preserving the fence this way, as some sides will still have the old stain on them.  

    fences are confusing!!! 

    This is probably exactly what I would do.  Just stain the inside, and then what's exposed to the street and facing the front of your home.

    I agree.  They are confusing.

    I'm not even motivated enough to call the town to find out what the law/code says.  I would never approach the neighbors about the fence.  I'm just a bit shocked/caught off guard that they are actually flipping the thing, lol.

    image
  • As far as I know, you're supposed to put the nice side "out" when putting up a fence.

    Our backyard is fenced on all 3 sides and none of the fencing is ours.  Two of the 3 neighbors put the nice side facing our yard and one didn't.  It doesn't bother me at all because like someone else said, I didn't have to pay for it!!  :o)

  • i can see why they did that.

    i however, and way to OCD to have my fence 'backwards'.  it would bother me to no end to have the good sides facing in and the bad sides on the outside!  even if it meant i got to look at the good sides.

    i am picturing every picket fence from my memory and they are ALL nice side facing out.

    effff your neighbor!  lol

    oh well.  you are right, he is wrong. 

     

  • imagewhit940:
      Too bad they didn't discuss this with you before replacing the fence.  You could have possibly split the cost and built the second type of fence that doen't have a bad side.

    That would have been GREAT.  I would have definitely paid half, had they let us go for the more expensive fence, that matches what we have on the other side of our property.

    Unfortunately our neighbors are Polish, and hardly speak an ounce of English.  I can get home from work and say "hi" and the husband usually says "good morning" in response, lol.

    We've never been able to communicate with them.  Only with their teenage son, who just started college last year. 

    image
  • IMO - getting the "nice" side looks like you are on the outside of a fence... since it is more customary to put the nice side on the outer side - towards neighbors, etc.  So it wouldn't bother me at all if my neighbors put it up that way - it would look more like MY fence than theirs, when in my back yard.... I prefer to feel like i'm on the inside than the outside- if that makes any sense.

    as for the dog situation- that's your deal - you can't expect them to ever have a fence up just b/c you use it for your dog... it might break, etc- and it's not their job to make sure your dog can't get out.

    if you want to make sure your dog will always be safe- you need to put up your own fence.

  • image*wicket*:

    As far as I know, you're supposed to put the nice side "out" when putting up a fence.

    Our backyard is fenced on all 3 sides and none of the fencing is ours.  Two of the 3 neighbors put the nice side facing our yard and one didn't.  It doesn't bother me at all because like someone else said, I didn't have to pay for it!!  :o)

    Thanks for the input.  I appreciate hearing someone else who has mis-matched fences.

    I feel a lot better now that I've heard from everyone.

    image
  • I would be frustrated that part of our yard was unfenced, if even for a day, since the pugs like to run if given the chance.  

    we don't have an HOA, not sure what the city rules are, however, driving around town you always see the nice side of the fence on the exterior, I have never seen it reversed.  That would be very ineffectual at keeping people out of your pool if you had one (which you are required to fence in! 

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    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
  • My dad had to flip his fence after he had the bad side facing the neighbor.  Code required the neighbor to get the good side.
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  • imageGoldie_Locks_5:

    as for the dog situation- that's your deal - you can't expect them to ever have a fence up just b/c you use it for your dog... it might break, etc- and it's not their job to make sure your dog can't get out.

    if you want to make sure your dog will always be safe- you need to put up your own fence.

    I don't expect anything.  We live in the suburbs right outside NYC, so the plots of land are tiny.  We don't have space for another row of fencing, which is why they placed theirs on the property line.  It really is what makes sense.  Neither of us have an inch to spare.

    However.  Had we known they would be flipping the fence this weekend, we would have done what we've done in the past, and put up 3-4 ft chicken wire to enclose our backyard temporarily.  

    They don't speak English, so I can't really be angry at them, I am just annoyed at the situation.

    DH started staining our enclosed deck, and the dog doesn't have a safe area to be left out on a leash.  Thus, he's stuck inside for most of the day until they are finished with the fence.  Our dog is used to being able to go in and out all day as he pleases on the weekends.  He looks sad.  :(  We keep the sliding glass doors open when we're home so he can go from the house, to the deck, to the backyard.  He's staring at DH out on the deck and crying, lol.

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  • ok just looked up our city ordinance:

    5. All fences and walls shall be constructed with a finished surface facing outward from the property (e.g. in the case of a wooden fence, a "finished surface" means a surface of the fence where the pickets or slats are fully exposed to view). The posts and support beams shall be on the inside of the finished surface. However, the posts and support beams may be outside the finished surface if compliance with this standard is deemed impractical by the City Planner.

     

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    Gretchen Evie, born 7/8/2012 at 35w5d
  • I get it.  When we built the first style you show we just put boards up on both sides so both looked like the last style on either side.  So if it does bother you I wouldn't put up my own fence, just add boards to your side.  On the property line is a shared fence where I am, you take care of the side facing you, they take care of theirs.  Which means yes, you only stain the sides on your property.
  • We took our dog to the vet this morning due to ear/eye irritation.  Apparently he had really bad allergies, and we have to wash him with special shampoo that will work like topical Benadryl.  (In addition to giving him Benadryl pills.)

    I also let the dog sun after giving him a bath, and now I don't have a place to put him while he's wet.  Stick out tongue  As the deck is currently being stained by DH.

    Alas, most of our backyard was fenced in for free.  We are lucky.

    image
  • Well, most people put the "good" side facing out because it looks better to everyone else, not for you. As in, from the street, the part that faces looks nice and clean. Not being snarky, but you don't have a right to be annoyed because it is their fence. However, I would be annoyed that they didn't let me know they were moving it so I could keep my dog inside/on leash.

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