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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: I know I find this horrifying
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Also, I'd cut anyone out of my life to protect my child from potential harm, so yeah, I judge the dad for not dealing with their issues and for not being upfront with his wife about what danger she is putting her kid in by having a relationship with an abuser.
ETA: a missing not
My reaction would be the same as most would if it had been grandpa. I'd file charges.
In a heartbeat. She can't be near her grandson and she shouldn't be near any small children. I find that beyond appalling.
duplicate post
I think that her h has some serious issues he needs to work out. It seems pretty clear that he was sexually abused as a child and clearly can't address it on his own. Regardless of his complicated feelings about his mom, the top priority now has to be advocating for his child.
And, as others said, I would argue that sexual abuse can occur regardless of whether or not the abuser derived pleasure from the experience. I'm 100% sure Oprah would agree with me too.
This filled me with rage. I am not so sure I wouldn't have hit her.
The call to the hotline disturbs me. How would you really know if it were arousing or sexual to her or not? She could always claim it wasn't. Which is why, you know, to normal people the act of placing your mouth on a child's genitals IS A PRETTY GOOD INDICATOR THAT YOU'RE UP TO NO GOOD.
"boundary issues"?? FFS.
And yes if anyone else has similar anecdotes, please refrain from posting them so we don't all have that in our heads for the rest of our lives.
YES! The CPS hotline needs to fire the moron that told her that.
I'm trying really hard not to blame the dad here, since he was likely a victim. But jesus, protect your kid.
The nerve!
House | Blog
see, in my world, once you grow up and become an adult (and especially decice to be responisble for another human life) your time to play the victim is done. fix your shiit.
I'm trying to figure out what it says about the Grandmother that she felt comfortable doing this in front of the mom and dad. I'd imagine most molesters realize it's behavior that should be hidden. (well, it's behavior that shouldn't happen at all, but hopefully you get the drift.)
How screwed up is her perspective to think nobody would object?
As I was reading through the responses and seeing people suggest calling the cops, I pondered whether I would go that route had it happened to my child. Initially I was thinking, "No, I don't think I'd go that far." But then when someone mentioned that calling the cops would protect other kids from her, I started thinking, "Hmmm, maybe I would."
My heart goes out to this poor girl. She has a husband who most likely has repressed some seriously haunting memories, and she is going to have to be the one to dredge them all up to the surface to get him the help he needs. Doing so will rip him and his family up and maybe send MIL to jail, but it needs to be done. Can't say I envy her position one bit.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
I dont' actually believe she got that from the CPS hotline. I think she hasn't called yet and probably called some sort of random "help line" before causing the stir.
Well maybe her "boundary issue" was just too much to resist!
Sick fucck.
As someone with a family member going through this sort of thing right now, I do not envy them. It is an emotionally draining and gut wrenching process to try to deal with all those dredged up memories and abuse you had repressed happening in the first place.
I also don't know that blaming the dad really accomplishes anything. He may not remember a lot of what happened to him, and his boundaries are probably pretty screwed up from living with that as a child as well.
Regardless, MIL is screwed up, and it needs to be addressed.
And another thing someone brought up is if something, god forbid, even worse happened down the line and it somehow came out that she knew about this incident and hadn't told anyone, she could also be considered negligent or compliant or whatever.
I would be making that shitt official in at least a couple of places, whether they could take action or not.
I have just been covering my mouth, with fingers digging into my face and eyes as wide as saucers through this whole post.
I can't even imagine. I would just start screaming at the woman.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
See, I can understand her initial reaction. Often my first reaction is deer in the headlights.
i just realized that shortyredx said it was molestation if for her own arousal first. does she work at the hotline?
and this
Im curious as to how you figure that a GROWN A$$ WOMAN putting her lips on a baby's PRIVATES and not thinking anything of it is NOT molestation? What planet are you from? Here on earth,in America, thats wrong,molsetation, and fricking perverted. Also, speakng as a victim of sexual abuse, just because it happened doesnt mean you go and tell everyone you know. . . . . . quite the opposite. . . .
that sounds like something sarah palin would say. anyway, in canada i guess it would be different.
Holy fukc. And "my boys"? Is she still showing her sons "affection"?
I'm pretending Kay's anecdote was a horrible nightmare someone had and not real.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.