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Can we talk about financial problems?
Regular going anonymous here - I'm super paranoid of people somehow connecting the dots.
My husband and I are pretty financially conservative - we are striving to avoid debt in the future, and are working towards paying off what little debt we have. I have just finished knocking out a small student loan debt, and my husband is closing in on paying off his truck. We've got a little bit of money in savings, and once the truck is paid off, we'll begin a serious savings account and start a down payment for a house.
So, that's us, in a nutshell.
However, we've got some friends that we just love. They'res just awesome people, but the more the husband tells me about his financial situation, the more I feel as though I am watching an oncoming train wreck, and I don't know how to respond. Without going into details, they've got at least about $500K of debt, and he'll kind of make fun of himself about it, but I don't know what to say. I don't want to be all preachy, but I don't want to minimalize it, either. They haven't really asked for help, so I don't feel like I can really say much, you know? How do you guys handle stuff like this? Should I just hush up and mind my business?
Re: Can we talk about financial problems?
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Oh wait, I thought you were saying YOUR husband is secretly $500k in debt.
Honestly, I'd just leave it alone. Unless they come to you for money, it's not your place. But that may be my uptight New Englander coming out.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
You and me both.
But dude, did you see the girl on MM who complained about her friend's dog while she was dog-sitting, and said friend posted calling her a liar?
I don't really remember the question. But if it was whether to say something to your friend, I vote no. People can be really strange about money, and if you want to keep the friendship I wouldn't say anything unless they asked.
The nerve!
House | Blog
I find this sort of odd.
1. Don't really know why you feel like you need to hide under a new SN for this, unless your "friend" is a poster as well.
2. I'm not really sure what you expect to be able to do about this.
They know they are up a creek on this. You can't be in debt and not know that you're in a mess. They don't need to hear it from you because that will just sound like judgment no matter what you say. My opinion is that you stay out of it.
so . . . let me get this straight.
you are asking how to handle some friends' finances who have not asked for your help? yeah. you don't. MYOB.
I'm not sure what your financial outlook has to do with anything. Basically your friend jokes about being 500K in debt, which doesn't affect you whatsoever, and you want to what--warn him? stop him? put him on a budget?
this post just makes no sense to me. don't cosign for anything for them. that's about all the advice I have for you.
Yeah. This is why I originally thought the poster's H was $500k in debt. THAT I would be hiding behind an AE to post.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
This is A. none of your business, even if he jokes about it and B. you never really know anyone else's financial situation even when you think you do.
The simple answer is, don't lend them any money and if you feel uncomfortable when the subject of finances is raised, discretely bring up another topic.
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I'm not sure what I expect to be able to do about this either, truth be told. I guess I'm not sure how to respond when they say stuff like, "Well, we just got a new dining room set - we totally can't afford it, but we thought, hey, we'll just put it on the card since that's our MO these days." I mean, what do I SAY to that? I just tried to focus on complimenting the dining set, but I'm worried about sort of encouraging behavior that's hurting them, I guess.
But you're right - they've GOT to know they're not doing themselves any favors, and it is kind of egotistical of me to assume they'd change their ways just because I piped up about it.
I'm sorry, I don't think I'm being clear. I absolutely don't want to bring it up myself, no way. I agree, that's a terrible idea. I'm just not sure how to respond when they bring it up.
Oh, I just saw this. That's a good idea, maybe I'll try that - just changing the subject entirely.
So do I.
Oh, I'm just paranoid about that kind of thing. And again, since I am talking about finances - it's just such a sticky topic anyway.
I felt the need to explain our own to try and illustrate my thought process, if that makes any sense at all. It seems more horrifying to us since we are actively working to get rid of debt, I think.
This is what I don't get. Were you trying to prove you had the right to judge them?
The nerve!
House | Blog
No friggin' way.
Sooooooo ... what kind of work does your husband do? Does he use his truck for said work? What school did you use said loan to pay for?
This will help me give better advice.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
HA! Computers, nope, and a state school.
HA!
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Nope!
I promise, I really do just lurk mostly, and post only occasionally.
Way to back off, person who called themselves a regular.
I haven't been paying attention because I have no idea what you people drive, let alone your husbands.
The nerve!
House | Blog