Good Morning!

mrsmozzarella · July 2010

joelizabeth23:
PuppiesAndRainbows:

joelizabeth23:
DH is on the same page as me: she's nuts. But it's SO much easier to just appease her than it is to argue. She wanted me to wear my wedding gown again, or at least she ASSUMED I would wear my wedding gown again, but I told her my parents had it preserved (lie!) and that I'll be wearing something appropriate to wear to someone else's wedding since this one couldn't possibly be my wedding because I'm already married. (Ok, that's what I wanted to say...but really I just told her I'd be wearing a sundress). I'm just trying to look at it as a free trip home and some more gifts and cake. If I let myself think too long and hard about anything she does, I'd go crazy. The thing is: I knew all of this when I married him. She's been nutty from day one, seriously. So I take it all with a grain of salt and pick my battles. Doesn't mean, though, that I can't dread doing it

I may be the lone biotch here, but I really think that you should have refused. The reason? You need to create some boundaries with this woman, starting from the very beginning. She needs to understand that you two will not be dancing to her tune, you are adults and YOU will decide what you want to do. If you don't, wait until you have kids, then your nightmare will really begin.

Yeah. We see that and definitely feel the same way. It's just such a hard situation though when we actually have to "act" upon it instead of just talking about it. We've at least already set the ground rules for the holidays and with us now living so far away, we're hoping to distance ourselves from her. You're not the lone Biotch. If I had the balls, I'd just tell her off and be done with it, but it's so much easier said than done.

Oh, I totally agree. It's so much easier to talk about it than to actually do it. I feel ya.

Ms_Shell · July 2010

mrsmozzarella:
joelizabeth23:
PuppiesAndRainbows:

joelizabeth23:
DH is on the same page as me: she's nuts. But it's SO much easier to just appease her than it is to argue. She wanted me to wear my wedding gown again, or at least she ASSUMED I would wear my wedding gown again, but I told her my parents had it preserved (lie!) and that I'll be wearing something appropriate to wear to someone else's wedding since this one couldn't possibly be my wedding because I'm already married. (Ok, that's what I wanted to say...but really I just told her I'd be wearing a sundress). I'm just trying to look at it as a free trip home and some more gifts and cake. If I let myself think too long and hard about anything she does, I'd go crazy. The thing is: I knew all of this when I married him. She's been nutty from day one, seriously. So I take it all with a grain of salt and pick my battles. Doesn't mean, though, that I can't dread doing it

I may be the lone biotch here, but I really think that you should have refused. The reason? You need to create some boundaries with this woman, starting from the very beginning. She needs to understand that you two will not be dancing to her tune, you are adults and YOU will decide what you want to do. If you don't, wait until you have kids, then your nightmare will really begin.

Yeah. We see that and definitely feel the same way. It's just such a hard situation though when we actually have to "act" upon it instead of just talking about it. We've at least already set the ground rules for the holidays and with us now living so far away, we're hoping to distance ourselves from her. You're not the lone Biotch. If I had the balls, I'd just tell her off and be done with it, but it's so much easier said than done.

Oh, I totally agree. It's so much easier to talk about it than to actually do it. I feel ya.

Hopping on the skirt tails here! But I think that b/c it's your DH's mom, he really should step to the plate and say something like "Mom, thanks for thinking of us, but we planned the wedding we wanted. We appreciate the additional congratulations party for us and paying our way out here, but please know that we can't just drop our lives in GA just because it's what you want. We are setting these family rules for our household. We ask that you respect our wishes with these rules (and name some of the biggies)."

Either way, boundries need to be set STAT! GL with this ordeal.

joelizabeth23 · July 2010

I thought I replied to this but I guess it didn't post. I agree that appeasing her is no good and we completely agree with you guys that we shouldn't let her get away with this kind of stuff, but it's just so much easier said than done. We've already set the ground rules for the holidays and such, and we're hoping that now that we're far away that after this "ceremony" we can distance ourselves from her. Trust me, you aren't the lone biotch. If I had the balls I'd totally tell her off and be done with it, but it's so much easier said than done!!

joelizabeth23 · July 2010

joelizabeth23:
I thought I replied to this but I guess it didn't post. I agree that appeasing her is no good and we completely agree with you guys that we shouldn't let her get away with this kind of stuff, but it's just so much easier said than done. We've already set the ground rules for the holidays and such, and we're hoping that now that we're far away that after this "ceremony" we can distance ourselves from her. Trust me, you aren't the lone biotch. If I had the balls I'd totally tell her off and be done with it, but it's so much easier said than done!!

ah, sorry. I'm still new here and didn't realize there was a second page But yes, I completely agree with you guys! haha

Aerorea · July 2010

Elizabeth, eventually the two of you are going to have to get a strong backbone and just say no. At least your DH is on the same page, so the united front will make it a little easier to do. The sooner you stand up to her and set the boundaries, the better off you'll be. There's a strong chance that if you bow to her wishes now, you'll be bowing to them forever.

Perhaps you could appease her by letting her throw a party, but refuse to do another ceremony. Tell her if she wanted to see a ceremony, she should have shown up to it.

joelizabeth23 · July 2010

Thank you guys so much for all the advice! I definitely appreciate it!

Good Morning!

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