Sex & Romance
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TTC sex

DH and I have been TTC now for 9 months! Still no BFP. We have been together for 9 years and married for 1 year and 2 months. I feel bad when I kinda push sex during ovulation time but we have to if we wanna have a baby. He says it feels unnatural because the sex was planned. Idk what to do. It seems like we are so exhausted from work and ttc that we really don't have much sex when I'm not ovulating. But it seems like when we do have sex, we're doing the same old routine. Any suggestions to spice things up while TTC?

Re: TTC sex

  • 1) Stop making it about the conceiving. Why don't you just have sex? Why do you need to check for ovulation to have sex?

    Sure, I think it's all fine and dandy to do as much. But for nine solid months? Of course, it's going to feel like a chore and not fun.

    How about you guys take a month off and just have unprotected sex. See what happens? If a baby does, yay! If not, you've only missed a month.

    You need to worry about your husband's sanity in this TTC process too. Especially since it's muddles so close to his intimate relationship with you.

    2) If you have to be obsessive about checking for ovulation, how's about you not start sexy time with "I'm ovulating!" and proceeding to work at sex. How about you check, wait for him to get off work in some sexy piece and actually have fun foreplay and not the "give me good swimmers" passion but I want to bone you passion: sexy strip tease, bubble bath, bj mixed into foreplay (to get him started), lap dance, sex outside the bedroom. You get the idea.

    It doesn't have to be about the fact that you're ovulating. It doesn't have to be a chore or routine.

    I'm really not trying to be snarky but I would personally not want to have sex if it had to be waited for monthly around a couple of days for a period of nearly a year.
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  • I think the more you push the more he will be stressed making the whole end result very rushed.  Why don't you guys just have sex, get a bit tipsy and have sex whenever.  I know there would be no way in hell DH would be comfortable having sex when it is being pushed, I would make it more natural.
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  • You could make the planning part a little more exciting! Like when you "plan" to do it on wednesday at 4:00 also plan what lingerie you will wear so he can think about it, or tell him he has to pick which room in the house you do it in! Or you could do something to take the plan out of planning, you pick the time but get a sexy game or something that will pick the...idk, position or something, there are alot of options I'm sure! It's tough to do something crazy and exciting when you're tired...you might just need a little break from the schedule, that's hard to do when you are TTC, but it's something to think about. Good Luck!
  • image616love630:
    You could make the planning part a little more exciting! Like when you "plan" to do it on wednesday at 4:00 also plan what lingerie you will wear so he can think about it, or tell him he has to pick which room in the house you do it in! Or you could do something to take the plan out of planning, you pick the time but get a sexy game or something that will pick the...idk, position or something, there are alot of options I'm sure! It's tough to do something crazy and exciting when you're tired...you might just need a little break from the schedule, that's hard to do when you are TTC, but it's something to think about. Good Luck!
    The bolded part is gold. As for planning what lingerie to wear or telling him to pick the room is still planning and that's what is too routine for her husband already.

    He wants spontaneous. OP can plan when she knows she needs to and surprise him with it. Not include him on the planning process since that's what he's not enjoying.

    However, I truly think that she should stop with the ovulation testing and just have sex for at least a month. She's wearing down her marriage's intimacy like this and that's just not healthy.
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  • I would also like to add that the more stressed out you are about TTC, the less likely you will ovulate. I know it can be frustrating wanting something so badly, but you need to relax a bit and when the time is right it will happen. (I know, easier said than done!)
  • Thanks! DH tells me this all the time. Are u having any luck TTC?
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