May 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
POLL: Dwelling before marriage?
So I am always curious about whether people lived together before getting hitched. We lived together just under 3 years before we got married and I am happy about it.
If you said Yes, how long did you live together before your wedding and are you glad you did?
If you said no, do you wish you had?
Re: POLL: Dwelling before marriage?
Eh, well I just recently found this board. Sorry if it's a repeat. I look back at a few old posts but didn't really dig.
Yes we have done it before but I don't mind answering it again.
I'm one of the few no's. DH and I spent weekends together but that was it. By the time we could afford to live together, DH promised my daddy that we would wait til I finished spring semester. Needless to say we got married three days after I finished spring semester.
I don't regret it at all. I'm happy we waited.
This is why some of us have the "Whorebag" siggy pics
But I'll answer again, and this time in long form:
When HH and I met, he was living alone, and I was living with roommates. Since he had his own place, I spent the majority of my time over there.
4 months later it was lease change time, and I moved out into a one bedroom apartment, he also moved, but into a two-bedroom place with a friend of his. Since I was now the one living solo, he spent most of his time at my place.
One year later, lease change time again. He moved into my one-bedroom place, but I moved an hour away to attend school. I left most of my furniture and belongings there since he didn't own anything except for a bed, so it still felt like "my" place even though technically we weren't living together.
Fast forward another year. I was still in school but decided to move back to the city and commute. We decided that the old one bedroom just wasn't big enough for two people living there full time, so we upgraded to a swanky two-bedroom place and "officially" moved in together.
One year almost to the day later, we were newly engaged, I had just graduated, we'd both gotten new jobs, and we closed on our very first house. Unfortunately, only he got to live there for the next year, as I was working in a different province. So although we had a bigger committment to one another than ever (engagement, home-owners) we were back to living seperately. Him in our house, me with roomies.
11 months later, we were married. But still not living together! I didn't move in to our new home until 6 weeks after the wedding, when my contract ended and I could move. We did things so asss backwards. We lived together until basically the moment we got engaged and then lived seperately until ages after we were man and wife
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
Nope we didn't live together before we got married and I am glad we didn't. A lot more adjusting to get used to but I don't regret it.
This sounds a lot like my sister. Did you guys have a tough time living with your parents? We have dicussed moving in with either set of parents to be able to save money more quickly for a house. We always come to the same conclusion, that it would never work for us. My parents would drive me nuts and he doesn't think his father would go for it.
Same here. I can't say that we did everything the way we should have, but we did try. Living together, for us, would have been completely throwing in the towel! Haha.
I had my own apartment for a year or so before we met. Matt was living in a house with a couple of his coworkers. Both of his roommates got engaged shortly after we started dating, so he got his own place and would usually come out to mine for the weekends.
We signed the lease on "our" place in February, when my lease was up, and I moved in then. His lease ended in March, so, for the month of April, his stuff lived with me and he alternately visited me, slept on his office floor, and crashed with a buddy.
We don't regret it. It was important to us to live out our beliefs with as much integrity as possible. I can't be a hypocrite and say that we did everything the way we should have, but I can honestly say that we tried.
We are going through a pretty rough adjustment period at the moment, but I'm glad that we're doing it as a fully-committed married couple.
Hey- we lived with my parents in separate bedrooms, my mom was not a fan of the staying together not married in her house, which was fine. He moved in with us because of some drug troubles with this younger brother (cocaine) and HH is NYPD. His father didn't want to see the problem and so Jay couldn't live there knowing what was going on, He actually found cocaine in the house. Luckily my brother had just went off to college so he moved into his room, that is the only reason he lived with my parents. After we got engaged and were trying to get our own life started I found it difficult living with my parents. My mom was always in our business, we couldnt even have an argument without someone asking something. We both couldn't wait to get out. It was a blessing because we were able to buy a house and I am so luckly, but if you dont have to do it I wouldn't recommend it. Even my dad says to me now that you guys are married I cant imagine you coming back it would be so hard.
I have the typical Latin father and he has the typical southern baptist family...so...NO.
Plus I lived an hour away for 5 years of our relationship while I was going to College. Weve been together 8 years but I still wanted to do the college thing and live by myself for awhile before I moved in with a guy.
DH and I met April 1, 2006 and he moved in to my house in August 2006. So we lived together for about 3 years and 9 months before the wedding. I don't regret it at all!
I've always known that I could never marry a man that I hadn't lived with. I don't think his family LOVED the idea but they are pretty non-confrontational so nothing ever came of it. It was the choice that DH and I made and we would never take it back.
It was nice to not have that "period of adjustment" after the wedding. When people ask us "how's married life?" (which I am SOOOO tired of being asked, by the way) we both seem to have the same response... "It's the same." HAHA!
We will live together almost two years before getting married. I think it was a great decision b/c you learn so much that way. There is definitely a transistion period and I'm glad we got that over with early on!
Also - it's nice to know that your on the same page with the person you are marrying. For example, we were able to work out how our household will work financially and how big decisions will be made in our relationship.
I think we both feel 100% going into this marriage and I wouldn't have it any other way.
- M CAP.