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Before you met your Husband...
...what was your life like?
Me...
- engaged to a someone that was 100% wrong for me
- unhappy with who I was
- unhealthy (fat!)
- had a great group of girlfriends
- just recently started a new job in downtown Chicago
- was this close to settling...
THEN...
My future H and I (who worked at the same place as me) started becoming friends. I felt like he was the only person I could speak to re: my "situation" with my (then) fiance.I would speak to all of my gfriends about him, and they always told me that my concerns/worries were normal and that everything will be fine when we get married. Well, they were being completely selfish. When I called it off, I lost ALL of my best girls. Girls who I was friends with prior to (old) fiance and I ever dating. I was devastated. BUT, I had to follow my heart. DO you know that my friends actually said they were soo upset b/c there was no more "Kate & Name"!!!
H made me realize that it was okay for me to change my mind, and that just because there was a ring on my finger, it didn't mean I had to go through with it. And, he was always a gentleman...never ever did he hit on me or anything like that during our "friendship" phase. In fact, he didn't actually put the moves on me until like 3 months later!
Anyhow, I couldn't have asked for a better turnout. I could not imagine my life without my H.
How about you?
Re: Before you met your Husband...
Me, I was about to be a senior in college, had ended a 4 year relationship with my HS boyfriend the year before and wasn't really looking for a relationship, but more feeling like I wanted to play the field. He was a little older, already graduated with a job, settled in my hometown and definitely ready for a relationship! We did a lot of talking and went on some dates, and I was into him but still feeling nervous about getting into another relationship, thinking I'd graduate and move away.
After only a couple months I realized I was totally head over heels, despite not wanting to be tied down. After graduation, I decided to stay in my hometown, get a job and settle down with him. I have never regretted it!
I had been living in a new city (state) for about a year. Had broken up with a guy two months prior and was finally starting to feel like "me" again. My best friend introduced me to her friend who had JUST moved to town. He was (is) 8 years older than me, but NOT looking for a relationship and neither was I. I thought it'd be a fling, but was having fun. My ex asked for me to come back to him a week after (now) H and I had met, but I had a feeling I wanted to see where it went so I told him no way. Three and a half years later--best decision EVER!
ETA: I like this question!
I was going nowhere fast. I was a single mom of 3 kids. Was completely convinced that I would never meet a guy that was worth a damn that would love me and my kids completely. Life was a struggle for sure. Got engaged to a guy that was totally wrong for me, planned and almost completed the wedding. Left him after he told me he was going to drown my baby (1 yr old) if he didnt stop crying. Not acceptable.
Already knew hubby but not well. He insisted on helping me out (bodyguard of sorts) when the ex would break into my house or follow me. Hubby was my lifeline. Our friendship grew and after 11 police reports and a TPO ex went back to England for good. Soon after we began dating. I finished my schooling and got a job. Everything was looking up. Instead of going 1 step forward and 2 steps back with everything, I was actually getting ahead.
I knew he was the one. He had so much patience with my kids, and he worshipped the ground I walked on. (still does) He made me feel like I was the most important thing in his world. We went on the yearly hunting trip and he was amazed at how I could handle it. That was the selling point for him.
We got engaged 2 months later and now we have been married for a month on monday! Best thing that has happened to me since my kids. I would lost in this worlds without him.
Great Idea!
I was 18 and in my first year of college. I was in a horrible emotional and phsyical abusive relationship. But I was 18 with horrible self-esteem and thought that was how relationships were.
I went home for Christmas break and met H. He showed me what a real relationship was and pushed me to achieve my goals.
Married
Taking Control:Updated 1/7
I was working a job where I wasn't being treated (or paid) well enough. I hadn't been on a date in about a year. I was feeling really lost.
Then my brother told me about a free online dating site and I joined out of curiosity. H found me a day later and after a month, I finally agreed to meet him. Our first date lasted seven hours!
Now we are living in a great place and I feel so much happier and freer than I did before we met.
However, his life really changed more than mine did. When we met, he was planning to move to California in a month to be a cop. After we started dating, he pushed back the move by another month, but still planned on going. After four months, he decided to stay here and go to law school instead.
We are both really happy.
Morbidly single. Dating looosaahs.
A couple of months after my 5 year college reunion I started dating DH... I can't believe I went from brutally single to married in less than 5 years. All of those other girls in my class are going to be so shocked at my 10 year reunion next year.
Planning Bio - Woefully out of date
I know I am the odd ball here, but I had never really had a serious relationship before my H. I was seriously shy around boys. First of all, I was still living at home after college, trying to figure myself and had a very strict and controlling mother. I longed for someone special to come into my life.
Well, I had a hard time finding a job after college, so I took a temporary position working with special needs kids. That is how I met H. His Mom was my assistant teacher (I was subbing for the lead teacher). We had grown pretty close & I opened up to her about my Mom and home life. I truly believe God made it this way for a reason.
I didn't want to go to the Christmas party bc I felt like I didn't really know anyone since I was only temporary. His Mom convinced me to go for a bit and I did. H picked up his Mom and we hit it off immediately. We went out on our first date the day after Christmas and also then talked a lot on the phone. We were perfect for each other, same views, goals, etc.
He was the only one that understood my situation and stood up for me. When my Mom tried to throw me down the stairs one night, he wanted to come over and get me (even though he was an hour away). He called her and left her a not so nice message saying how he would never let her do that to me again. Then I got a full time job making good money teaching preschool and moved out on my own. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, I was a brand new person with a lot of emotional and physical scars that have since healed. H was there all the way, organizing the move, truck, friends to help, etc. We almost split up a few times bc of my Mom but the thought of not having him in my life scared me so much. Everything told me he was the one.
When he took a job out of state, I was devastated. My whole world fell apart. He assured me it was so we could have a future someday, and then shortly after he proposed to me. Then last summer I took the giant leap and moved to be with him. Left my family, friends, and dream job, but looking back, I don't regret it and wouldn't have it any other way.
(there is so much more to his story before he met me, than my life before i met him. i had a big period of personal growth at this point, and i had my sh!t together in a big way)
i was SUPER single and a summer term away from graduating (i had a horrible first-love break-up three-ish years before). I was mostly single by choice at this point- i had a lot gong for me, i was planning on applying to grad schools and considering moving to france for a year or two.
DH was in a few of my classes and we chatted a smidge. He stalked a little on facebook... then found my AIM... and IMed me. creeper. (believe it or not, right after that IM i took out my AIM and never put it back.lol) and at one point i went to visit my grandparents in KC, and DH asked if i wanted to borrow his notes. i declined. i had someone else for notes. BUT she fell through, so turns out i DID need his notes.
we were friends for a good 6 months before the relationship started. there was a lot of angst and he had this giant unrequited crush on some girl from high school who went overseas to study. i (thought i) was apathetic, i lived my life, and when we started talking about real life things- what i wanted to do with my life, what i had planned for the next year or two (franceland), it hit him like a ton of bricks. but i made it clear i would NEVER be #2. he was not pleased in a very EMO kind of way (back when emo meant dashboard confessional). it took him a while, and he backed off for a while (even though we talked everyday), and he ended up growing a beard at one point because i mentioned i liked men with beards. he was the king of mixed signals, i think mostly because he was just trying to figure out what he really wanted. and i had some things that wouldnt stop for him.
there was so much angst and drama surrounding our friendship and the start of our relationship all on his side of the fence. (his friends/family/understanding of the world). he just needed to grow up.
Amanda Williams Photography
I wish I had something interesting to add to this. I've known DH a long time; since 1997. My life before we dated, hello being 13 in middle school. That's why it's not interesting. The only thing I can remember from then was the year before I dated someone gay (unknowingly lol) and all I did was hang out with my friends. I also remember thinking alot that I was afraid I was never going to find someone to be with. I find it sooo interesting now because I couldn't have been any more wrong. That's all I have
For Sale
My Blog:Life in the Glam Lane: Where curves are beautiful and made for fashion!
Planning
Married!
.::Hudson Valley Bio::.
Almost a year before I met H, my ex (of 4 years) broke up with me. I was devastated, didn't eat for a week, but within a short time realized I had "settled" for him and he was an egotistical self-centered jerk. (But smart and great-looking, I thought he was "above my level", hence my justifying his behavior.) 3 months after, I moved to Arizona (from FL) to start a "new life" for myself, awesome job, living alone for the first time ever, new state, etc. I was scared to death.
I also took the opportunity to be selfish for once. I dated to get free dinners, free movies, whatever i wanted. Woudn't sleep with the guys (had a "buddy" to lean on, so I wasn't sleeping with a different guy every weeks, since I frequently was seeing a few guys at once!), played with their heads, loved it. Was scared to death of the work "commitment", and ran from any guy who started to "like me more".
Then a few months before meeting H, I dating a guy I started to like, and realized I might be "ready" for a relationship again! Things didn't work with the guy, but I wasn't going out looking for anything. 6 months after moving here, I didn't have any friends (except guy "friends" who just wanted to jump me), missed the east coast, and applied for a bunch of jobs back east. Same time started to talk to H online, but nothing seirous. The week before I met him, I got a "No" from the job I REALLY wanted. So I met up with this guy (H). Within a few weeks, we both knew this wasn't just a random dating incident and the rest is history. :-D (Gee, I'm long-winded, sorry!)
Love the question...
I was in a bad relationship and felt very stuck in Omaha. I had a wake up call and realized I need to live my own life. I worked with a girl and a guy who were single and the 3 of us decided to start travel nursing. We decided to start in California - ended up in LA. The girl and I became best friends, spent every day either working or touring - we ended up traveling the US together for 4 years. I was loving being single and independent. On my 2nd contract in San Diego I met this sweet Respiratory Therapist - he was kind of hot and cold around me - super sweet. He asked me a few times if I had plans on certain days - and I always did - and instead of asking me if I wanted to go out, he would walk away. He then asked my best friend if I had a boyfriend...and of course I had been dating someone @ the time. One of my patients (who was chronically sick and in the hospital for weeks @ a time) told me that he is the sweetest man and he really likes me, she encouraged me to go on a date with him. I made the 1st move to get his # because he was a bit shy around me. After dating a few weeks I was leaving San Diego to go to Nebraska for the holidays and then on to Florida...I did not want to leave but I did. On Christmas Eve he kept bugging me if I was going to be home so I could get the package of my purses that did not fit in my car when I moved. Well @ the bottom of the package was a wrapped box of the pair of Uggs I wanted. I was @ the mall one day and he called and he asked what I was looking @, I said these boots but I do not want to spend that much $ on them. Well he listened. I dropped the phone when I opened the package and started crying - I knew @ that minute he was the one. He then flew out and met my family - my Dad within 10 minutes of meeting him said - you do not let him get away. I went to Florida and my contract was canceled. Me being the independent woman I was not running back to San Diego as everyone wanted me to do - I stuck it out for a few weeks, staying in Florida with no job. Then I decided it was crazy, my heart was with him. I called and got a travel contract immediately, he flew and drove me across the country. And the rest is history. Sad part is the patient who told me to date him passed away last week - it was hard for us both.
Before I met DH I was being a crazy ten year old enjoying 4th grade, playing with friends, having sleepovers and getting into trouble!
Before we officially started dating I was a kissing whore, kissing every boy I could and chasing guys and getting them to like me then when they finally did I wanted nothing to do with them. I have several mini meaningless relationships. Even had a more serious bf right before dating DH and actually broke up with ex-bf to be with DH.....best thing ever!
to sum it up, my life sucked before H.
- i just dropped out of college (i liked my job and freedom a bit too much)
- i hadn't had a serious relationship, not that it bothered me.
- i was so shy
now my life is amazing, i couldn't have asked for more.
- H convinced me to go back to school and get my degree (my parent's love him even more for this)
- he's really encouraged me to open up, which has improved my social and professional life
but i have to say, the one think i don't like is that if H and i don't work out, i'll be perpetually alone (or a lesbian) because i won't find another guy as great as him. and yes, i gag at how much of corny romantic i've become. lol.
We ride, never worry 'bout the fall.....I guess thats just the cowbow in us all ~Tim McGraw
Mines sounds white trash, swear its not though.
I had been with my childrens father for 3 years,we had my daughter who was 1 1/2. I hated the man he was truly a horrible being. With terrible drunken judgement one night we got pregnant with my son. Fast forward a month he decided to take off with a 20 year old (he was 32). I was devastated, not because I loved him so much as I was alone with nothing with a daughter & pregnant. I moved home with my parents and I was very lonely & depressed. I was also very sick, not sure if I would have a miscarriage or not. I spent a lot of time online reconnecting with friends my ex had pushed away & found H again. We had dated years ago, nothing serious & then had both been in relationships since then.
He invited me over for a gathering one night that didnt exist so I would hang out with him, we spent the night together watching movies. That was it, both of us knew that night we wanted to be together. Took him a month to meet my daughter though because I refused to be the parent whos kids see boyfriend after boyfriend. Then 2 weeks later I told him about my pregnancy, because things were well & healthy. Threw him for a loop for about 1/2 an hour. Then he told me he was happy to have a family. We've been together every moment since then. He is an amazing man and a great father & we are the luckiest people in the world that he came into our lives & stayed.
Wow. He should have come to get you though. Or called the cops. Or something. A message doesn't do that situation justice.
Before I met H, I had two previous serious relationships. One lasted two years. Was going no where. Just fizzled out. Other relationship I was in before and during the time I met H. He listened to me talk about the total dysfunctionality of the whole situation.and because of him I became a stronger person and was able to leave. A few months later, after I pursued him for a long time, he and I started dating.
My life is much calmer now. I actually have a lot more girlfriends/friends in general. I guess I'm just constantly happy and content, something I wasn't always before, and other people feed off of that so it's easier to connect with others now. I'm loving where my life is now. Wouldn't change it for the world.
Before I met H I had just gotten my first apartment, and a new car. I was feeling nice and independent and annoyed as hell at the ex-bf of 5 years. So I dumped him. lol
I was going through a major growth period- testing out my wings, personality-wise, getting all foffing pierced haha, really breaking out of the "church group Steph" that the ex had slowly but surely maneuvered me into. Figuring out what I really wanted in life, what kind of music/ movies/ style I liked. Srsly, that church group was the WORST!! One big "young adult" cookie cutter. ::BARF::
(and I was susceptible to that b/c I had been shunted back and forth- far too much trouble for either of my parents to actually WANT me around, so I spent 9th & 11th grade with the kids I grew up w/ and 10th & 12th with a bunch of fukcing strangers an hour away. SUCKED. My parents were such oblivious assholios.)
H was my downstairs neighbor, and we met a couple of months into my little transformation. I was still working on it (for the next couple of years, actually) but H was awesome- the first really supportive person I'd ever had ANY sort of relationship with, really patient with me when I changed my mind 789234706 times, and never pushed his own thoughts/opinions on me.
Now we're similar in some ways but totally different in others, and I love him so, so much more for never taking advantage of the situation and trying to mold me into what he liked or wanted (like the church/ ex had done.)
Planned Executed
He was going to but I was so used to handling it myself. Plus, with my Mom I knew it would make it so much worse. I was afraid of making a scene, etc. That was when I cared too much about what others thought of me. I ended up staying on the phone & texting him the rest of the night to make sure I was okay. He really wanted to, but I wouldn't let him. And the strained relationship (although it is getting better) is due to that message and how she treated me over the years before he got me out of the house.
Before we met: Like in Person?? LOL
I have known him since 1996 - on AOL, so my life before him in real life was still kinda with him lol
But before we met in real life in 2006 and started to date......I was in a 5 year relationship with an a guy who was 6 years older then me, and I thought he was the one.
Before I started dating H I was in a long distance relationship that had been going on and off for many years. It was really not good for me, which everyone knew (and why they hated the boyfriend) but of course I couldn't see at the time.
Meanwhile, H and I had been working together for about a year, acquaintances but not really good friends. Then he moved into an apartment that was only a few blocks away from my house so we started driving to work together when we worked the same shifts and started becoming better friends.
Well, the relationship with the boyfriend ended (for good this time).
A few months later I was starting to feel like I was ready to start dating again. I was even looking into joining an online dating site (I'm horrible at meeting people). But at the same time, I was becoming better and better friends with H, we started hanging out more outside of work, talking on the phone more, flirting some
Then one night we were playing cards and he was giving me and shoulder massage and then we kissed.
Then we had what we like to call the awkward period. I was a little freaked out. Did I really want to date someone that I work with, did I really like him That way? But then on my birthday he came by with flowers and the rest, as they say, is history. (I never did join that online dating site
)
I love reading these!
H and I were both in established relationships when we met my freshman year (his sophomore) in college. We lived down the hall from each other in the dorm and were friends for several months. I counseled him through his breakup with the b!tch he was dating at the time, and I leaned on him as I broke up with my boyfriend. I had been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years, and I was slowling starting to realize that we were in different places. He wanted me to settle down and spend my evenings with him watching movies, and I wanted to go experience college life and make new friends. Plus, we fought all the time. It actually took me a while to realize that should have told me something...It was only like 2 weeks after our breakups that we started dating. I was looking to play the field, but he stuck!
H was the only person I've ever dated that loves me for exactly who I am. He gets that I get emotional sometimes for no reason, and he understands and continues to treat me like a princess. He is also the only person I've ever dated that is proud of my ambitions and wants to help me succeed rather than being intimidated. I feel like a man can either help you fly or weigh you down, and he definitely lifts me up. Sorry that's so gd corny. Oh well. It's true.
This, almost exactly this. Except I didn't start dating H until 1 year after my 5 year college reunion.
About a year before my 5 year I had just broken up with the guy who I thought was going to be "the one." We only dated for a year and before him I had been single for a VERY long time. Now I realize we were totally wrong for each other. Thankfully I learned a lot about myself and how to be in an adult relationship after that one ended. And next year at my 10 year college reunion, my classmates will also be shocked.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="D
I had just gotten out of a really bad 4 year relationship. The guy I was with treated me horribly, but I couldn't see it. My family was breaking apart because of it. Everyone was just trying to get me to see the truth but I didn't want to hear it, so I had NO relationship with my parents or my sister. Once I got out of that relationship, I was EXTREMLY independent because I had been so dependent on the ex.... so when I met DH it was hard for me to even think about dating, but after the second date, he met my family (he came to help me move into my new apartment and met everyone)... and they all FELL inlove with him and I did too..
now, I have the BEST relationship with my parents and talk to my sister everyday on our way to work, my mom and sister are my best friends now. I am so thankful to my DH for not only showing me what a real relationship with like, but also mending things with my family.
Before
I was dating someone for 5 years and while it wasn't a bad relationship, it wasn't the right one. It just took me too long to figure that out.
Further back, I was always in the wrong relationship for the wrong reasons. And I let people walk all over me. I was a doormat. I was friends with the wrong people...usually girls who were catty as hell. At some point, I learned to spot those kinds of people BEFORE I had too much invested in them.
I know that to some extent I can be immature and say horrible things about people but then act nice to their face. But some people...some people are just WAY to good at it. If you hate someone SO much, have some balls and just say it out loud. Don't hide behind something and pretend that you are just sweet as pie. Ya know?
I got tired of feeling like I was living in the movie Mean Girls. High school only lasts for 4 years for a reason. Grow up.
Since I have been with D, my life has been a whole lot better. He is so easy going and doesn't like to start anything with anyone. And if he doesn't like someone, he doesn't pretend to...ever.
Plus, having 2 little girls look up to me? That made me grow up even more. I shudder to think of these kids being friends with catty, selfish brats that think it's okay to treat people like they don't matter. Everyone matters. And if you don't like them, IGNORE them. I also hope that I can make these kids see that some people don't deserve your friendship. And you have to find the people that DO deserve to be in your life. And that includes their significant others.
It's almost here! Weeeeeeee!
my read shelf:
43/70 books read
Back in June 2010...
Before I met H, I was going thru a divorce with exH, I really wasn't looking for a relationship as I was getting ready to go thru something that was going to be the hardest thing in my life I would ever go thru (not the divroce! That was pretty easy!) H was very persistent and always called me and asked me to hang out with him. He was always a gentleman. I knew within 2 weeks that I was going to be with him, but I also knew I needed to do things on my own as well. So I went ahead and bought a house on my own (which looking back I wish I wouldn't have because now I'm just renting it out) but I'm glad that I was able to prove to myself that I didn't "need" anyone to help me!
Looking back I can't believe how my life changed from 2 years ago til today. I'm in such a better place, I'm not miserable anymore, I don't need antidepressants to get me thru the day anymore, I feel safe and secure at night in my house, H is so much better for me than even I could have imagined!